


The Feeling Of You

by FabulousG



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-10-18 19:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10623597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabulousG/pseuds/FabulousG
Summary: Alec Lightwood is a dhampir who just graduated ST. Raziel's Academy at the top of his class. Magnus Bane is a moroi running from the dangers of his past and his own self. Every moroi needs a guardian dhampir to protect them from the most dangerous race of vampires the strigoi. What will happen when the lives of Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood cross over and find themselves enatangled in a life full of dangers, secrets and blood?





	1. Who are you?

** Prologue **

  
There are three races of vampires on this earth. Dhampirs; half human, half vampire. Their human characteristics and amplified senses that come with being a vampire makes them lethal in a fight. They can survive on ordinary human food and sunlight doesn’t kill them. Their complex build makes them perfect guardians, protectors of the moroi. Moroi are pure vampires. They are thought to be superior to the other races especially if you belong to one of the twelve royal families. Moroi need blood to survive and while the sunlight doesn’t kill them, it’s definitely better if they’d stay away from it. That’s why the vampire world functions throughout the night and sleeps during the day. Some moroi are special. Almost every moroi specialises in magic, they are able to control one of the four elements; water, fire, earth or air. The moroi are a dying race and they need dhampir guardians to protect them from strigoi. Strigoi, they are the abominations of the vampire world. They are merciless killers and they do not abide by the government implied rules. For a dhampir to become a strigoi, they must be bitten. For a moroi to become strigoi, the moroi must drain a person of all their blood, killing them. Strigoi just like moroi need blood to survive and they will kill anyone and anything that crosses their path without hesitation. Once you’re strigoi, you are deprived of any humane emotions that you felt when you were truly alive. Strigoi are dead, unlike dhampirs and the moroi they don’t age and they don’t die unless you kill them. A moroi who has turned strigoi also loses their magic. Magic is pure and good natured and that is exactly what the strigoi are not. The moroi are the main targets of the strigoi and that’s why they need dhampirs, they are the ultimate weapon and as many believe the only hope for the moroi.

Alec Lightwood is a dhampir. The Lightwoods are a well-known family of guardians. They are considered to be the most skilled and intelligent, for a moroi to land a Lightwood would be like getting the golden medal in the Olympics. Alec has just graduated St. Raziel’s Academy for dhampirs and moroi. An academy where the moroi and dhampirs learn all the functions of the world on top of magic practice for the moroi and guardian practices for the dhampirs. Alec has graduated at the top of his class. He has dedicated all of himself to all of his lessons and passed them all beyond exceptional. That’s exactly what his parents have expected of him. No, not to do well but not to tarnish the perfectly crafted image of the Lightwood name.

Alec Lightwood is the best of the best and he knows it, but that doesn’t mean he likes it. The pressure and expectations that come with his name have taken away many opportunities from his life, as a teenager he should’ve been able to go to parties and enjoy his teenage years before he is chucked on to a path where his life is in constant danger. Alec never had and never will have the luxury of these things but that doesn’t mean his siblings can’t. Being the eldest son Alec willingly took all the crap that their parents threw at him and his siblings, he took all the criticism and chastising so his younger siblings could enjoy their teenage years and not be tormented for it. So in a way Alec can’t complain, and he’s not going to. He knows what his purpose is and he knows what he’s fighting for, so he might as well be good at it. Alec knows that his destined path is to be a guardian and protect his assigned moroi, so that’s exactly what he’s going to do and nothing can push him of that path, nothing.

 

** Chapter 1 **

  
Walking towards the room where Alec will be assigned to his moroi, he can’t help but feel his hands shaking and his legs screaming at him to run. ‘’They come first’’, is a saying that every dhampir has drilled into their brain since they were born. Alec must do everything he can to protect his moroi. Die for them as much as kill for them. He has to. But can you really blame him for scratching his neck where his promise mark is permanently tattooed as if somehow he’ll be able to get rid of the ink and make a run for it, where he won’t be accountable for every single thing that happens to his moroi in just a few hours. A promise mark is gifted to every dhampir that has graduated from their Academy and now are ready to undertake the role of a guardian. A guardian who will be responsible for the life of a moroi, and that is not said lightly, it carries more weight than most people are willing to carry.

‘’C’mon Lightwood, get your shit together’’. Alec hisses at himself as he rubs his hands together and knocks on the dark wooden door.  
The door is opened by another guardian wearing all black- the usual guardian attire- he motions for Alec to take a seat at the side of a rectangular table that has nothing but a few glasses of water placed on it. On the opposite end sit familiar faces, which would surely make someone else feel more at ease, but not Alec, definitely not at the pointed gazes that his parents are pressing on him right at this moment.

Maryse Lightwood is a dhampir, a skilfully trained dhampir woman and the leading head of many dhampir missions. She is a cold woman, contempt with maintaining a perfect image and fulfilling every need and expectation that is placed upon her shoulders. Beside her is his father, Robert Lightwood, a moroi. Dhampirs can’t have children together only moroi couples and a dhampir with another moroi. In most cases as a moroi man sleeps with a dhampir woman they would immediately abandon them and move on with their life leaving the dhampir woman alone to raise a child. Many dhampir women give up their guardian destined lives to raise their children, however some and not enough women leave their children to the academy and continue their life as guardians. They don’t completely abandon them, there are reunions and some manage to maintain healthy relationships with their children as long as both sides understand that there is a job to do and they can’t give it up to have a pitch perfect family. The Lightwoods are an exception, Maryse Lightwood was assigned to Robert Lightwood and throughout years of constantly being around each other they fell in love and had three children. Robert Lightwood acts as a spokesman for the moroi, who helps to initiate the best ways to improve the lives of the moroi. He is a practical man who has his priorities sorted, he’s not father of the year but unlike most moroi fathers, he is present and makes an effort of some sorts and that’s good enough for Alec.

‘’Sit’’ His mother instructs him cooly, all business and professionalism. No congratulations on your promise mark Alec, I knew you could do it. But in all honesty Alec doesn’t expect anything else. His parents love him, they don’t say it and they don’t really show it in the public eye, but when they’re alone during the extremely rare evenings where their little family gathers for dinner, they have at least one conversation that doesn’t include guardian business, and even though none of the members of the family would admit it, those evenings are the evenings they look most forward to.

‘’You know why you are here, yes?’’ His father asks him without looking him in the eye, focused on a folder that lies open in front of him instead.  
‘’Yes, I will be assigned to a moroi. I’m just not quite sure why you’re doing that.’’ He takes the risk of asking. Instead of chastising him like always for never being sure of anything his father simply nods his head in acknowledgement and pushes the open folder towards Alec.

Alec pulls the folder close to him but doesn’t look at it just yet. He can’t be seen to be too eager, that would show immaturity and he also wants to know why his parents are the ones assigning him a moroi.

‘’It’s us because this specific moroi isn’t just any moroi. He is a well-known moroi and his reputation precedes him and unlike every other moroi he did not ask to be assigned a dhampir.’’ His mother shakes her head in that way that she would every time Alec or his siblings did something she did not approve of but would not voice aloud.  
‘’You have to understand Alec, that this moroi is in a lot of danger, he has made many enemies and continues to make more. He is an important asset to the royals and we cannot lose him. He also happens to be close friends with our Queen Vasilisa Dragomir, she personally asked us to provide him with one of our best guardians.’’ His father fixes his jacket as he finishes talking and fixes Alec with a stern look. Alec understands that this is his way of complimenting him and Alec takes it in with a nod as he leans in to look at the file in front of him.

‘’Magnus Bane.’’ He tests the name on his lips and lets his eyes skim through the information laid out in front of him.

‘’He already has five guards with him and he lives in a pretty closed off unit.’’ Alec almost felt like they were insulting him, placing him with other five guardians in a house where nothing has happened in the past year, when even some royals don’t get as many as three guards, that means the guy is of importance but it also means that Alec will literally have nothing to do. If he works with other five guardians, he will probably end up doing paperwork and even though Alec would not complain out loud, he really doesn’t want to sit around and do paperwork.

‘’These are temporary guards. Mr. Bane has agreed to have only one guardian but while the assignation is completed he has been travelling with five guardians who take shifts at making sure he doesn’t try to escape again.’’ His father informs him, his voice turning sharper as he says the last words. Huh, it seems like this Magnus guy has caused some personal trouble for his father. Alec can’t help but smile inwards, it’s pretty hard to piss off his father so cheers to the Magnus guy.

‘’You will be Mr. Bane’s guardian Alec. I trust you to do your job and do it well. Everything you need to know is in that file, you will be leaving in two hours to meet with Mr. Bane.’’ His mother tells him strictly and Alec yet again feels like he’s being chastised. He knows the importance of this job, he made sure he’d never forget it and he promised himself when he was receiving his promise mark that he will do anything in his power to make sure his moroi is safe and he will keep that promise.

‘’Okay.’’ Alec states simply and clearly. He’s surprised at how much confidence and solidarity he manages to put in one simple word and it seems like his parents are too. His mother takes out a thick pile of paperwork and places it in front of Alec with a pen ready to sign.

After Alec has read through all the terms and conditions and signed all the pages he needed to sign, an hour went by meaning he had an hour to pack and leave. Before he exits the room his mother stops him at the door and reaches for Alec’s face with her hand, but after glancing at the guardian stationed near the door she settles for Alec’s shoulder and squeezes it gently. She smiles at him and takes her hand away turning towards the guardian barking out orders. Alec sighs and exits the room. Yup, family of the year, Alec thinks as he makes his way to his living quarters to pack.

There isn’t enough time to say goodbye to Isabelle and Jace, so Alec heaves his luggage in the back of a van and climbs in the passenger seat next to one of the guardians that has been assigned to Magnus Bane. Alec opens up his email and starts typing out a goodbye to his siblings promising them to find time to keep them updated. Alec pulls out the folder belonging to Magnus Bane and reads through the information that he has read at least five times while he was packing. The guardian next to him peeks at the folder and scoffs causing Alec to turn to him confused.

‘’Is there a problem?’’ Alec inquires and he winces at how harsh he sounds but the guardian next to him doesn’t seem fazed by it.

‘’Problem? Nah man. I have been working for Bane for the past six months and throughout ten years of being a guardian I have never met anyone who has made me want to run for the hills and away from this job.’’ Alec frowns and thinks just how much trouble will this Magnus Bane guy will be causing him.

‘’I don’t have a problem, but he certainly does.’’ The guardian says nodding towards the profile. ‘’And plenty of them.’’ He adds on. Alec huffs out and leans back into his seat, eyes refocusing on the folder in hand. He flips the pages back and forward as they drive towards the manor house that Magnus Bane has occupied.

The whole ride is quiet except the short exchange at the start but since the guardian didn’t seem to mind it, Alec didn’t let himself get overworked over his terrible socialising skills.

 

* * *

 

Magnus wondered towards the voices in the corridor, rolling his eyes as he caught snippets of guardian business. Honestly don’t these people have social lives beyond guardian duty, Magnus thought to himself as he placed a now nearly empty glass of wine on the nearest surface and made his way towards the chatter. Magnus never wanted a guardian, many thought he was foolish for thinking so but really he just didn’t feel comfortable with other people risking their lives for his, besides he can take care of himself he doesn’t need anyone making him feel like he is incapable of protecting himself, because he is, Magnus thought stubbornly.

As soon as Magnus entered the entryway of the corridor he was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with a quite admirable figure of a certain guardian who stood facing away from Magnus. Most dhampirs were very attractive what with their human characteristics that were so unlike moroi, who tended to be taller, slender and quite fragile looking not to mention pale as though always sick. However the person in front of him was quite different from other dhampirs. He stood towering over two other guardians with a clear poise of authority but unlike so many other dhampir guardians who carried themselves with an edge and constant tension, which made them look hard and uncomfortable, this particular dhampir looked graceful and relaxed, like he knew exactly what he was doing, he was in his element and he had a hundred percent certainty that nothing could go wrong as if he was assured by God himself. He wore the usual guardian clothing. Black, plain and simple. It would usually make Magnus gag if it didn’t fit the body of this mystery man so well. Magnus hummed as he raked his eyes over the strangers body one more time before he made his presence clear by coughing aloud. The three guardians turned towards him and Magnus smirked as he saw the gorgeous man he was drooling over just a second ago look at him with those exceptionally beautiful hazel eyes, he raked Magnus‘ body with confusion and surprise as if he did not expect Magnus to be like he thought he’d be.

“And who are you?” Magnus cooed as he approached the man purposefully swinging his hips from side to side. Magnus resisted the urge to wink at the young man in front of him as he blushed when he got caught staring at the elegant movements of Magnus’ hips.

“This is Alec Lightwood, your newly assigned guardian” Raj, one of Magnus’ temporary guardians that have been assigned to him by his dear friend Vasilisa, exclaimed a bit too cheerfully.

“Looking forward to leaving me so soon dear Raj?” Magnus faked a pout and then grinned when Raj rolled his eyes and blew out an exasperated sigh.

He slammed a clipboard on the so called Alec Lightwood’s chest and left through the door yelling “He’s all yours” through his shoulder.

Magnus smiled upon Alec and stretched out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you Alec, I am Magnus Bane an-“ Magnus was interrupted by a snort coming from his side, he glared at the other remaining guardian that stood just a few feet away from Magnus. “And soon to be the biggest pain in the ass” He proclaimed smirking to himself.

Alec looked between the two men and raised his dark eyebrows. He stretched out his hand and shook Magnus’ warm tanned one that was decorated with a variety of rings. Magnus smiled at Alec and then fixed the other guardian with sad puppy eyes “Not you too Francis” he put his free hand over his heart and heaved a sad sigh.

“It’s Fredrick” the other guardian grumbled but Magnus attention was drawn to the black haired man next to him, who hastily ripped his hand from Magnus’, red heat covering the tips of his ears in embarrassment as he noticed he was still shaking Magnus’ hand throughout the whole interaction. Magnus’ lip twitched in what was sure a mocking smile but he decided to spare the young Lightwood.

Something pure and innocent was brewing behind those delicate hazel eyes and it made Magnus feel safe and assured that everything will be alright as long as he remains in the presence of this stunning guardian. However as enticing as those eyes are they’re also proven to be dangerous as Magnus could barely pry his gaze away.

“Mr. Bane, I’m sure you’ve been informed of this arrangement. You will no longer be protected by the five guards that Queen Vasilisa assigned to you. They were temporary until you would be assigned a definite guardian, and only one according to the deal you made.” Magnus liked the sound of his voice, but it was dulled by the sophistication and finality that they were spoken with. Magnus could sense that the young Lightwood disapproved on the one guardian deal but it was that or nothing.

“Yes, I’m aware of everything don’t bother retelling me what I already heard a hundred times from Francis” Magnus put a hand up to shush Fredrick as he was about to protest against Magnus for the incorrect use of his name but then settled for a sneer instead. Magnus could see by the tight setting of Alec’s jaw that the man was not entirely pleased with Magnus for dismissing this so light-heartedly but Magnus really couldn’t be bothered with extra guardian details.

“And please call me Magnus” This time Magnus actually winked which caused the younger guardian to blush. Magnus would’ve continued to tease Alec but the other regained his posture by placing his hands behind his back and standing taller as he hovered over Magnus. Magnus was quite tall himself so he was impressed and slightly intimated by the dhampir’s height. The seriousness and determination that overtook Alec’s face made Magnus groan inwardly. Damn guardians always so stubborn and professional, no fun, Magnus thought as he plopped down on the sofa that he marched to with a little less grace that he displayed earlier.

Alec followed close behind with Fredrick who took a post by the door while Alec stood in front of Magnus. Magnus checked out Alec shamelessly but stopped when he noticed how Alec’s lips pressed into a thin line underlying disapproval. Magnus rolled his eyes and motioned for Alec to sit on the sofa opposite him. Alec made himself comfortable although he still looked out of place as his shoulders tensed when he did a quick scan of the room he’s in.

“Alright tell me, what is it exactly that you will be doing for me? What exactly are the arrangements that have been made? “ Magnus asked as he placed his head on his fist as he leaned against the arm of the couch. The sooner he gets this whole business over with, the better.

 

* * *

 

From the moment Alec laid his eyes on Magnus Bane, he understood that this man was going to be trouble. It was evident in the sly movement of his hips, the elegant yet teasing flourishing of his hands and the unmistaking flirtatious tone that he continously teased Alec with. Magnus Bane was attractive there was no denying that for Alec, he was tall and yet not exatcly up to match with Alec's height, which Alec took great pleasure in taking adavantage of as he towered over Magnus whenever he wanted to show Magnus that there was no point in arguing with Alec as he delivered his final point. Magnus only pouted and went back to refilling his drink. He did this quite often throughout their conversation, it came to a point where Alec had to snatch the bottle away from Magnus as he yet again stood up in the middle of Alec‘s speech and went to refill his drink, which he didn‘t manage to as Alec snatched the bottle away before Magnus could even land his hands on it. Magnus steered away and went to reach for a bottle on the other side of the room but Alec beat him to it and stood infront of the cabinet that was filled with various brands of alcohol that Alec wasn‘t even tempted to pronounce the names of.

“Stop that“ Magnus proclaimed as he tried to push Alec out of his way, but Alec stood as solid as a wall which blocked all of Magnus‘ sluggish attempts to rid Alec from his position. Exasperated and definetely done with Magnus Bane, Alec ran a hand through his hair and face and groaned as he tried to resist the urge to flip Magnus Bane out the window.

“Will you please sit down? We‘re not done discussing the details of your arrangement.“ Alec tried to reason with Magnus as calmly as he could without flipping Magnus off. The man just looked at him with soft brown eyes and was about to smile but once his eyes focused on Alec‘s face, his eyes narrowed as only now realising that it‘s Alec he‘s talking to.

“I think I‘ve heard enough pretty boy“ Magnus replied with clear annoyance and spun around walking out of the room all together. Alec closed his eyes and counted to five before looking around the room as if someone is going to jump out and tell him that the moroi he‘s been assigned to was mistaken and he can go home. Unfortunately and much to Alec‘s dismay he was all alone in the manor with Magnus Bane as all the previous guards have dispatched much too early, eager to get away from Magnus once Alec arrived.  
Pushing himself from the cabinet Alec followed Magnus out of the room, he caught Magnus closing the door behind him as he marched of to another room. Alec followed his lead and opened the door with more force than necessary and tumbled into an open space of what he guessed was the kitchen and on top of the kitchen table was Magnus Bane himself trying to pry open a bottle of wine. Alec crossed his way to Magnus in less than three strides and snatched the bottle from Magnus‘ hands once again.

“Why do you keep doing that? Ever heard of sharing is caring.“ Magnus said as he leaned back on the kitchen table. The lights streaming from the ceiling cast a perfect shade over Magnus‘ features and Alec found himself momentarily lost in the man‘s beautiful complexion. While Alec accepted his sexuality and attraction to men a long time ago, he was still deep deep in the closet with only his siblings being aware that he is gay. While nothing much scared Alec, the idea of anyone and especially his parents finding out that Alec is not straight terrified him. Sexuality was never a big deal in the dhampir world as the main priority was always about protecting moroi and as long as anything personal didn‘t stand in the way of that, it didn‘t matter. However, Alec was very aware of his parents views towards homosexuality and so Alec never came out. Tearing his gaze away from Magnus he reminded himself that the man in front of him is nothing but a pain in the ass that he has to protect with his life and not a piece of art to be drooling over.

“You‘re drunk.“ Alec stated and Magnus rolled his eyes and detached himself from the table in a very ungraceful manner that Alec had to bite down on his tongue not to mock the man swaying in front of him for.

“Okay, so I might be a little over inotoxicated.‘‘ Magnus admitted sheepishly and had the decensy to look slightly embarrassed. Alec rolled his eyes and stood by the kitched door which he held for Magnus gesturing for him to exit the room. Magnus held his head high and walked out of the kitchen a bit more composed than previously.

“I will show you to your living quarters and then I‘ll be on my way to bed.“ Magnus said as he yawned indicating that he‘s more tired that he tried to show. Alec followed him up the stairs and tried really hard not to rail his eyes downwards, he didn‘t know but Magnus was trying really hard to make it impossible for Alec not to look down. When they reached Alec‘s room that he‘ll be staying at for hell knows how long, Magnus was very cheerful to let him go but instead Alec grabbed on to his elbow and made Magnus face him.  
Magnus raised his eyebrows suggestively and Alec rolled his eyes before stretching his palm out facing up.

“What?“ Magnus asked innocently even though he knew that there was no point in playing pretense. Still he‘s not going down without a fight, his drunk mind supplied him. Alec sighed in response.

“Don‘t pretend and don‘t think I didn‘t see you sneak that flask into your shirt from the kitchen.‘‘ Alec glared at Magnus and Magnus cursed his genes because damn those eyes. Magnus pulled out the silver flask from his shirt and slapped it on Alec‘s hand with unkind force, however Alec only smiled at him.

“I hate you.“ Magnus glared at Alec hoping he seemed somewhat threatening. Alec fixed him with a glare of his own “Well my job is not to make you like me.“ Alec replied with simplicity. Magnus huffed out a breath and spun around making his way to his own room.

Alec watched as Magnus tumbled over to a door down the hall murmuring under his breath, he slammed the door shut and Alec thought he heard him kick the door and groan in pain. Alec leaned back against his door satisfied that Alec is not the only one suffering from terrible company. Even though his parents and many other guradians would call his behaviour unprofessional and immature he didn‘t care because Magnus Bane is... well he‘s Magnus Bane.

Settling down all his belongings in his room Alec checked his email and smiled as his siblings wished him a good luck and made him promise to contact them whenever he could. Alec pulled on a jumper and headed outside to familiarise himself with the house and then later patrol the outside to make sure no one is lurking to harm the insufferable person inside the house.

Alec took a few laps around the house wondering into the chilling morning air- which was the time signaling that all the moroi should be heading to sleep by now, just how much trouble will Magnus Bane bring into Alec‘s life?


	2. Care to care

It’s been barely two weeks since Alec has been assigned to Magnus and he has had enough of the Lightwood boy, sure he was a sight to behold and the teasing and constant mocking never failed to amuse Magnus but there were some things that you simply should not deprive Magnus off and that was alcohol. Magnus was an alcoholic, that was no news but the massive consumptions were not due to boredom, need for fun or to forget things which was one of the main reasons that people drank, no it was none of that, it was a need, a need to stay in control of at least something in his life and Alec would never understand. He felt like no one could. Sometimes Magnus wondered if Alec’s purpose was not to protect him from evil strigoi but to make his life miserable by snatching away the only thing that made his life somewhat bearable. Alec has made it his mission to cut the amount of alcohol that Magnus has been consuming so Magnus has made it his mission to be as annoying as one possibly could.

‘’You requested a trip to the mall?’’ Alec said walking into the room claiming authority the second he stepped into the bedroom, Magnus would never admit that he found that quite attractive and sometimes comforting, instead he would huff and stretch his head higher into the air showing his superiority. Magnus hated conceited and self-cantered people, many of those people were spoiled, power-hungry moroi and sometimes Magnus wished he specialised in fire so he could set their money dazed polished close minded heads on fire. Magnus never showed off and belittled people, he was acutely aware of his wealth and his status as well as the power he has but he never once considered using it as a tool to shame someone to please his ego. However, when it came to Alec and his constant criticism of Magnus’ manners and etiquette Magnus couldn’t help but feel like he owed the world to be a pain in Alec Lightwood’s ass and act like the usual rich kid with no care in the world who thinks if he has money then he has power.

‘’Yes I did, problem Alexander?’’ When his dear friend the queen Vasilisa Dragomir insisted that Magnus had a guardian he took the first guardian the queen has offered without much thought, as he trusted his friend very much, however now Magnus thought that maybe he should have reconsidered agreeing to the first placed guardian as he quietly watched Alec slip a flask out of Magnus’ jacket that he tossed earlier on the hanger of his bedroom door. Magnus cursed himself knowing full well that Alec took any chance he could find to steal Magnus’ lucky flask. Magnus glared at Alec as the other man smiled at him.

When Alec has proven to be more of an annoyance than Magnus expected he did some research about the Lightwood boy. He’s heard rumours there and there that the Lightwood’s have been a force to be reckoned with throughout generations and all the remaining Lightwood children are promising guardians bound to be the best of the best. Magnus managed to get some entail about Alec and was disappointed to find that Alec was more than capable of protecting Magnus which eliminated Magnus’ plan of sacking Alec for being a terrible guardian. Magnus knew that Alec had two younger brothers, one which was adopted and a younger sister, but Magnus’ favourite part was Alec’s full name which he now calls Alec by all the time with great pleasure as he knows that Alec deeply detests his full name.

‘’You usually shop online. I’ve been through all of your records Magnus and you haven’t stepped foot inside a mall in the past five years. It’s too dangerous to be in the public eye at this time, I do not approve of this decision.’’ Alec went on as Magnus fixed his eyeliner in the mirror. One of the things that Magnus hated the most about Alec is the fact that he can barely have a normal conversation with him. It’s not like he’s been chatting and gossiping with his previous five guardians but at least they knew that Magnus was really not interested in all the guardian business and so they left him alone, this was not the case with Alec. Alec loved talking and chastising Magnus about his lack of effort and consideration about keeping himself safe, he was very persistent on Magnus knowing some of the basic self-defence moves and continuously talked about guardian theory through which Magnus would zone out and concentrate on something more interesting, like a wall. Magnus doesn’t hate Alec and he knows that Alec is only doing his job but does he have to be so annoying about it? Magnus looked over his shoulder at the man who was currently frowning at him, sometime he also wondered whether frowning at Magnus was one of Alec’s favourite hobbies. Will somebody tell me how to get rid of Alec Lightwood? He thought to himself as he went back to adjusting his eyeliner.

* * *

 

 

Alec observed as Magnus reapplied his eyeliner for the sixth time already, Alec was getting impatient but he wasn’t going to back down. ‘’Alexander I have spent months cooped up inside this house because of stupid superstitions that someone is out to get me’’. Magnus waved his hands in the air as if trying to push the force of Magnus’ feelings onto Alec, as if that would make Alec understand better.

‘’The only outside that I have felt is the top of my roof and twenty feet outside my house.’’ At first Magnus started with the light-hearted tone that usually turned into a teasing one but Alec noticed something shifting in his face as he finished his sentence, he seemed more sad and disappointed as if his words brought the harsh reality of it crashing down on his shoulder unexpectedly now that he said them out loud. Alec watched Magnus as he rubbed the beads on his necklace between his fingers in an anxious manner. Alec has noticed him doing that from time to time, those were the times where Magnus seemed to be lost in his own world, he had this haunted look in his eyes and his hands shook whenever he reached out for a bottle of wine out of habit. Magnus was a person of adventure and one to live spontaneously, he was a free spirit not meant to be locked away from the pleasures of life. Alec felt a pang in his chest, he could relate to Magnus in his own way. Alec liked his life, he was satisfied with his purpose, the future of living his life as a guardian, he has even accepted the fact that he will die on a mission one day protecting his moroi. However, that does not mean that he wishes to keep repressing his emotions, never being able to express how he really feels, always having to follow orders. There is a constant battle within Alec, the need to do what’s right, what he’s been taught since the moment he was born and the dangerous want of doing something for himself. Alec wants to be free of the voice inside his head commanding him to be perfect. Maybe if he gave Magnus a chance to escape the house even for just a few hours, he’ll feel good knowing that he did something that he'd want someone to do for him, even if it is for Magnus, or maybe just because it’s Magnus. He dismissed that thought immediately and didn’t bother to question his head for supplying it to him. Alec looked over at Magnus, he looked for signs that might betray the sincerity of Magnus’ emotions but he couldn’t find anything. Magnus felt truly trapped, whether inside the house or himself Alec didn’t know, and it wasn’t his place to inquire even if he wanted to.

‘’I suppose I can arrange something’’ Alec began steadily. Magnus’ head perked up and a small smile was slowly inching on his face, it was barely there as if it was preparing to collapse in case Alec took his words back. Something inside Alec clicked and Magnus’ hopeful barely there smile only reinforced Alec’s decision to proceed with the outing.

‘’We can leave at three thirty so we’d be there by five in the afternoon when the mall will still be open but the sun will not be as much of a bother’’. For a second Alec fallen under the impression that Magnus was going to leap at him and tackle him in a hug and without Alec’s knowledge, Magnus felt like he might however he wouldn’t let Alec have the satisfaction of showing Alec his gratitude, he was pretty but still a pain in the ass. Instead Magnus twirled in a circle and gave Alec a practiced smirk.

‘’Then I better get ready’’. Magnus said in exasperation as if he knew Alec would eventually let Magnus go out. Alec raised his eyebrows and glanced at his watch.

‘’We have almost a whole day, technically this is the time for the vampires to go to sleep.’’ Alec stated simply trying to suppress a saugh at Magnus’ disappointed pout.

‘’Oh well, then I’ll just do something’’ Magnus gestured vaguely around him and Alec scoffed in amusement. Magnus glared at him.

‘’Shoo dhampir’’ Magnus turned around to fix his earrings which was not necessary because they were never out of place but Alec took it as a sign that Magnus was done with him. Rolling his eyes Alec strolled out of the room and walked towards his own considering whether he should cancel the trip.

*Time Jump*

After an hour and a half drive to the mall, Alec was happy to escape the confines of the car. He looked at Magnus who was stretching his legs out and wondered how he had the self-control not to strangle Magnus inside the car, push his body out the side door and back over him at least a couple hundred times. Throughout the whole ride Magnus has been turning the volume of the music to the maximum, and every time Alec would have to reach and turn it down only to have Magnus turn it back up. Alec was totally aware that Magnus was only doing this to piss Alec off since he showed no signs of actually enjoying the music. After forty five minutes Alec grew tired and decided that he was simply going to ignore Magnus, this only served as an invitation to find new inventive ways in which Magnus could annoy Alec. This included Magnus crossing his legs on his seat and the production of loud hum-ing sounds emitting from Magnus as he pretended to meditate, after realising it didn’t annoy Alec that much he moved on to opening and closing the windows of the car, he smiled in satisfaction when Alec had to literally swat Magnus’ hands off the control buttons. He then continued to tap on every surface of the car to the rhythm of the quiet music that Alec managed to keep to a low volume. After he grew tired he simply stared out the window and Alec cherished all five minutes of it because after that Magnus started jumping in his seat for no reason whatsoever!

‘’Alexander quit standing and staring off into the sky, the mall will be closing in two hours and I have a lot I want to look at’’. Magnus shouted over his shoulder as he skipped towards the entrance. Alec grumbled in frustration that his name was Alec and not Alexander, he locked the car and ran after Magnus all the while looking around his surroundings. There were only about ten cars and a couple of groups of people hanging around different corners of the parking lot. Alec petted the spot that he had his stake hidden in. A stake that every guardian had, made out of silver and infused with the four elements of magic, the only thing that can kill the strigoi, well not the only thing but definitely the easiest, fastest and preferred way.

‘’Stay close to me and don’t wander off, don’t talk to anyone and if you notice something suspicious you tell me and we leave.’’ Alec instructed Magnus as he let his eyes roam over the surrounding quickly, assessing all the possible exits and places to avoid as they’d be hard to escape from in case of emergency.

‘’Yeah, yeah I know the procedure, you only went through it a million times.’’ Magnus said waving Alec off. Alec grabbed Magnus’ elbow and turned him around to face him. It wasn’t the usual guardian behaviour, a guardian was supposed to be nothing but a shadow behind his moroi. They were to never question their moroi’s actions or words unless it endangered them. They were not friends and they did not have the right to treat them like anything but a job. They were to be in the back and act as if they don’t exist, they always had to have eyes on the moroi and if the occasion ever appeared they were to use their body to shield them even if it killed them. If their appointed moroi said something or did something that the dhampir did not agree with they would just have to put up with it and not comment on it. Of course there were a lot of families who have befriended their dhampir guardians and even treated them as family, their parents are an example of this, but usually that’s not the case. Many moroi treated their guardian dhampirs as accessories whose only point of existence was to protect them. Many moroi took advantage of their guardians and many dhampirs had no right to object to it. The way Alec is with Magnus is different, Alec can’t help it. Magnus is the most infuriating person he has ever met and while Alec is patient and the most self-controlled person you’ll ever meet that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a limit and Magnus simply exceeds that limit, besides it’s not like Magnus has ever told Alec off for his unprofessional behaviour so there was little worry for getting fired simply because Alec told Magnus to piss off or stole his flask on more than one occasion.

‘’Magnus, this is important. I’m not playing around.’’ Alec was getting frustrated again. Magnus’ careless attitude was just one of many the things that pushed Alec’s buttons. How can someone give so little care for their life when Alec was supposed to give up his own life?

‘’Okay. If there’s anything wrong I’ll tell you and I promise not to run off.’’ Alec let go off Magnus and nodded his head.

‘’Scouts honour.’’ Magnus saluted him with a flash of a smile and skipped off to the nearest store. Alec ran after him clenching his hands so he wouldn’t strangle Magnus.

They’ve spent almost an hour walking around different shops without actually buying anything and Alec was tempted to call Izzy and offer her his position, surely she and Magnus would get along great since they both enjoy going shopping without buying anything and just staring at a piece of clothing for five minutes as if it’s going to start talking like Magnus was doing now.

‘’Magnus, please you are not going to buy it, let’s just go home’’. Alec was growing tired, it’s something that rarely happened since Alec was always on his feet and ready to pounce but shopping is exhausting and shopping with Magnus is simply excruciating, he’d rather take on five strigoi then spend another hour doing this.

‘’Alexander you have no appreciation for beauty, it hurts.’’ Magnus closed his hand over his chest with a fake wince of pain and tossed the shirt he was holding back over a mannequin and marched out of the store. Alec was going to kill himself, but he’ll kill Magnus first.

‘’Why are we here if you’re not going to buy anything?’’ Alec whined, yes he whined and he felt like he had every right to.

‘’Because I want something I just don’t know what yet, I’ll know when I see it.’’ Magnus proclaimed as he took a sharp turn and entered another store. They walked around for ten more minutes and stopped to look at some glitter covered jackets that hurt Alec’s eyes.

‘’I wouldn’t expect you to understand considering…’’Magnus didn’t finish his sentence as his eyes told Alec everything that he hasn’t heard from Izzy as the man’s eyes trailed over Alec’s wear in disapproval and something else that Alec knew was everything but complimentary.

‘’Not you too’’ Alec let his eyes close just for a second, he was growing tired of having to constantly analyse every corner of every store for any possible threats.

‘’So I’m not the only one who shares my views.’’ Magnus left the jackets alone and turned to Alec, glancing over his features he suddenly perked up and started walking towards the exit. Alec groaned and followed.

‘’Where are you going?’’ Alec asked. Exhausted or not Alec had a job and Magnus constantly walking away like that made it difficult to do that job.

‘’We need coffee since you look like crap.’’ Magnus mused and went over to a coffee shop, Alec eyed the man behind the counter with suspicion as he kept fidgeting too much, and Alec didn’t like fidgeting even if he was being a hypocrite. They seated next to a window close to the exit that hid Magnus away from the crowd and allowed Alec to survey their surroundings.

‘’Hey take a break, you’re killing yourself.’’ Magnus smiled as he mixed his coffee. Alec took his coffee and sipped it carefully while briefly glancing at Magnus and then returning his gaze back to the crowd around them. Alec heard Magnus laugh but tried to pay no attention as he realised that was one of the most genuine sounds he has heard coming from Magnus for the first time ever.

‘’So tell me about this other person who also happens to disapprove of your choice of wardrobe.’’ Magnus mused while sipping his coffee. Alec glanced at him suspiciously but Magnus seemed genuinely sincere so Alec cleared his throat and started picking at the edges of his sleeves. Hypocrite, his mind whispered at him.

‘’M-my sister, Isabelle.’’ Alec gave Magnus a vague answer and even though Magnus gave him a look that encouraged him to keep talking, Alec did not.

‘’Okay then, well maybe we could find something better for you to wear than umh this’’ Magnus’ silly attempt at trying to not offend Alec’s clothing failed.

‘’For your information, this is how all guardian dress. Simple and comfortable, easy to move in a fight. I don’t need anything new.’’ Magnus gave him one of those unimpressed looks that he usually gave Alec whenever he mentioned any guardian business. There was an awkward silence as neither of them knew how to communicate with each other without yelling or mocking one another.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus sat silently in his chair and looked at the crowd of people mingling and running around. Life seemed so effortless for them, they didn’t know the dark shadows roaming the nights, and they didn’t know that the world is full of magic and that stories of vampires are all true. He envied them. He looked over at Alec whose eyes bore lines of exhaustion as they ran over the details of their surroundings. Magnus knew he had to feel greateful for Alec’s protection, he knew that Alec would not hesitate to give up his life for Magnus, it made Magnus both angry and relieved. Angry that someone would allow anyone at all to risk their lives for someone they did not know just out of duty, honestly it was a ridiculous concept, but he also felt relieved because having Alec around him making sure that he was safe and there was no one around the corner that would harm him, made Magnus feel safe and thankful for not being alone. His previous guardians were boring and had no life in them, unlike Alec who seemed to carry this constant spark in him, he had passion and Magnus admired that. Sure Alec was annoying and sometimes worried too much for nothing but he was the most refreshing person he’s met in a long time.

Magnus let his mind wander elsewhere when suddenly there was an ear splitting sound vibrating of the surface of every wall, for a second Magnus panicked unable to identify the source of such sound but the panic evaporated as soon as he looked at Alec. Magnus had his hand reaching out towards Alec, and he didn’t even notice that he was already depending on Alec for safety, he hated that idea but not as much because with Alec it was different, he didn’t know how but it was.

‘’It’s the alarms of the mall going off, we’re leaving, now!’’ Alec exclaimed as he jumped to his feet and grabbed Magnus with him. They exited the store quickly and moved along the crowd of people towards the exit. Alec was closely pressed up to Magnus and he noticed how Alec’s hand hovered over his stake that Magnus saw Alec position inside his jacket earlier on.

‘’C’mon this way is faster’’ Alec said in Magnus’ ear and steered them towards a door. Once outside Alec’s pace quickened as his eyes scanned the area repeatedly. He didn’t say a word and his features were hard and cold, Magnus decided he did not like that look so he kept quiet and followed Alec to their car. Once they got inside the car Alec didn’t bother with his own seat belt only glancing at Magnus to make sure he had his own on, then he sped out of the parking lot and into the roads. He was driving fast but not fast enough to pass the speed limit. His jaw was clenched and his whole body was stiff, Magnus felt the need to comfort him as he himself did not enjoy the tension radiating off of Alec.

‘’I think we’re okay now, a bunch of different things could have set the alarms off.’’ Magnus tried but Alec’s features remained strained.

‘’We shouldn’t have went there, we should have left within thirty minutes. It was stupid of me.’’ Alec sounded as if he was chastising himself and a surge of hate towards the dhampir teachings burned within Magnus.

‘’It’s not your fault, these things happen.’’ Magnus said, he didn’t know why he was trying to reassure Alec but he couldn’t help it. It was his instinct, Magnus was kind and caring, it was what Magnus liked and disliked about himself. Alec only heaved out a frustrated sigh and quickly accelerated once they were out of busy streets. Within thirty minutes they were home, of course with Alec’s mad man’s driving Magnus was surprised they didn’t arrive sooner. They circled the house three times to make sure no one was following. Once inside Alec told Magnus to lock himself in his room while Alec searched the house to make sure everything was okay. After less than ten minutes Alec was knocking on Magnus’ bedroom door. Magnus put down the novel he was reading and opened the door for Alec.

‘’All clear?’’ Magnus asked gently. Alec nodded and quickly scanned Magnus’ room, when satisfied he looked at Magnus and this time scanned him. Something about the way Alec let his eyes wander over Magnus’ body made him feel very bare and open.

‘’On my way here I looked at what set the alarms of in the mall, apparently it was just a couple of teenagers being stupid.’’ Alec sighed and ran his hands through his hair, which were always in a state of a rumpled mess.

‘’So you worried over nothing.’’ Magnus flashed him a big smile letting his fangs show. Moroi had fangs that were always out, throughout the years they were taught how to speak and smile without showing them not to scare off the humans in public. Magnus always hid his, something about his father always telling Magnus he looked like a fool with his fangs out made Magnus learn to hide them at all times but this time he wanted to see how Alec would react. Alec just looked at Magnus as he was deciding something, his gaze never wandered to Magnus’ fangs as if he’s already seen them on Magnus every day and never stopped to question them. Magnus wasn’t ashamed of his fangs he simply did not like it when typical humans associated fangs with killing and monstrous acts.

‘’Worrying is just a part of being careful, goodnight Magnus.’’ Alec looked over Magnus one more time and once he was satisfied with Magnus’ appearance he turned towards the door.

‘’Goodnight Alexander’’ Magnus said lightly as his exhaustion caught up with him. He smiled when he could hear Alec murmur under his breath that his name is Alec and not Alexander, and went to bed. When he fell asleep he dreamt of Alec shielding Magnus with his body as a man in a blue tux approached them in the perplexing speed only capable of the strigoi. Magnus grabbed Alec’s shoulder and begged him to hide behind Magnus but Alec only pushed his hand away and sprinted towards the strigoi. He didn’t know what happened next because he was woken up by the cracking sound of opening and closing of the doors like he did every day. Alec always woke up earlier than Magnus and every time he would exit his room Magnus would wake up too. He’d sit up in bed and listen to Alec’s footsteps echoing down the halls and after they’re gone Magnus would fall back down into his pillows and go back to sleep. Except this time after Alec’s footsteps were soon gone, Magnus simply laid down on his bed and stared at his ceiling. What a strange dream, he thought. He usually never dreamt and he was glad for that, knowing that his dreams would be perpetually consumed by nightmares. This dream wasn’t about puppies and rainbows either but having Alec in his dreams made him feel safe. Magnus closed his eyes and reminded himself that Alec is a pain in the ass, after a couple of attempts to haul himself out of bed Magnus admitted defeat and settled down with the novel he was reading yesterday in bed. He could hear Alec walking around the house, he could hear everything with his sensitive vampire hearing. He turned on his side to let the sunrise light the pages of his book and he read for hours, swapping one book for another with the sound of Alec’s footsteps echoing in Magnus’ ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for reading! If you have any questions about the vampire world feel free to ask in the comments as I'm not sure if I've been clear on some of the details :)


	3. Truth within

‘’How is it that you get assigned to Magnus Bane and Jace and I are getting checked out by the Whitelaws?’’ Izzy’s voice rang out from the phone in annoyance. Alec had promised his siblings he would get in touch but according to his younger sister Isabelle his keeping in touch wasn’t frequent enough.

‘’Izzy, the Whitelaws are an important moroi family, you should feel lucky to have them want you to be their dhampir guardians.’’ Alec tried to reason with his sister even though he knew better.

‘’Of course you would say that! You’re the one having the time of your life with Mr. HotStuff’’ Izzy complained into the phone and Alec had to roll his yes at his little sister.

‘’It wasn’t my choice Iz’’ Alec sighed into the phone.

‘’Well when I graduate can we swap?’’ Izzy exclaimed happliy.

‘’No!’’ Alec blurted out too fast. Dammit.

‘’No? What do you mean by no Alec?’’ Alec could practically hear her smirking through the phone.

‘’Nothing, I just mean that M-Magnus he uh-uh he has a reputation and you know his situation, and don’t pretend that you don’t because I know for a fact that you and Jace found a way to hack into the files and find out everything you can about Magnus.’’ Alec smiled fondly wishing the tremor in his heart to go away.

‘’Okay, fine maybe I got Simon to snoop around the files, what can I say? I’m very convincing and don’t try to change the subject mi hermano, I’m no psychic but I think I’m not the only here who thinks Mr. HotStuff is well you know hot.” Izzy laughed as Alec shut his eyes and breathed in steadily knowing that nothing would make the red blush creeping to his face disappear.

Okay so Alec found Magnus attractive but no way in hell would he ever admit it. Things have been strange since the incident at the mall almost a week ago. Magnus seemed distant, a bit slower on his smart-ass retorts and he seemed to resign to alcohol more often, which worried Alec more than he liked to admit. For the past few weeks that Alec has known Magnus, he has grown used to the charismatic aura that Magnus carried with himself so it was an understatement when Alec said he was quite unsettled by Magnus’ lack of light and humour.

There was a silent knock on the door and Alec turned to open it.

‘’Izzy I have to go, tell Jace I said hey, love you bye.’’ He hung up but not before he heard his sister reply with an I love you. Alec loved his siblings, he adored Isabelle. She was constantly alight with fire whose passion and strength inspired others. She was one of the only people who understood her brother and would stand with him against the world without question if it came to that. He opened the door to find a bored Magnus with his fist half-way to the door.

‘’Alexander.’’ Magnus smiled lazily up at Alec, his eyes hazed and shining. If Magnus’ eyes and swaying form wasn’t enough to inform Alec that he has been drinking again then the strong sweet smell of alcohol definitely delivered the message.

‘’Magnus.’’ Alec sighed less in annoyance and more due to frustration of how little Magnus seems to care about his health.

‘’There are uptight dhampir guardians in our living room who want to discuss serious guardian business with you.’’ Magnus said as he tapped the side of the door frame showing how little interest he had in the guardian business.

‘’They were not supposed to arrive for another hour.’’ Alec grumbled as he spun back into his room to collect a few files for the meeting.

‘’Wait, you knew about this? Why didn’t you tell me, I could have run off and saved myself from what I suppose will be hours of boring, boring and boring.’’ Magnus pouted crossing his arms over his chest. He was wearing a blue robe with black silk pyjama bottoms joined with purple slippers. Alec was at least glad that Magnus decided to ditch all the black he’s been wearing for the past couple of days. He smiled at Magnus and Magnus blinked at him in surprise which caused Alec to blush.

‘’D-don’t worry about it, it’s not like you pay attention anyway.’’ Alec has come to accept that the only interest Magnus had in guardian business was continuously dissing their choice of wear. Magnus rolled his eyes and walked inside Alec’s room. He plopped down onto Alec’s bed and Alec found himself not knowing what to do all of a sudden. For someone who always has a plan and at least three other back up plans he was totally clueless as to how he was supposed to respond to a very handsome and slightly intoxicated moroi lying on his bed. Magnus sensing Alec’s discomfort smiled at his dhampir guardian innocently and started straightening out the crumples on the sheets of the bed in careless lazy strokes.

‘’Alexander…’’ Alec could have sworn he purred.

‘’You’re my guardian, my sworn protector, the only thing standing between me and the deep pit of utter insanity that will surely be the death of me.’’ Magnus tore his gaze from Alec and let his eyes rest on Alec’s pillow. Alec thought it was a simple, plain pillow but Magnus looked at it as if it is held all the answers in the world. He did that quite a lot these past few days, and that was one of the things that made Alec squirm, the haunted sadness dripping of off Magnus’ words. Magnus gasped as if he just recovered from a bad memory, he looked at Alec and shook his head laughing lightly.

‘’Please just tell them that I have contracted a rare disease and am incapable of leaving the comforts of my bed.’’ Magnus blinked up at Alec pleadingly and Alec refused to fall for it. He didn’t know why but he wanted to keep his eyes on the man at all times for the time being, he knew that the meeting would pass sooner if Magnus restrained from perpetually mocking the other guardians which he was bound to do, however the thought of leaving Magnus alone made Alec anxious for reasons he didn’t want to know. He didn’t trust Magnus by himself, the way Magnus behaved and the way he would just blabber on as if he wasn’t aware of anyone else being in the room, truly made Alec question his sanity.

‘’No, you’re coming with me and they’ve already seen you since somebody had to open the door and let them in.’’ Alec said in a final tone. Magnus stood up in an alarming speed managing to startle Alec, however that soon dispersed when Magnus began swaying on his feet and Alec reached out to steady him only to have his hands pushed away by Magnus.

‘’Fine, c’mon let’s get this over with.’’ Magnus said harshly and stalked out of the room. Alec had no clue what was going with Magnus but if Alec wasn’t sure about wanting to have eyes on Magnus 24/7 before then now he was certain that he needed to.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus didn’t mean to subject Alec to the consequences of his inner turmoil that took the form of top class bitchiness, however whenever Magnus falls into his state of darkness originated lunacy he can’t help it when his mind takes a trip down crazy land and lashes out any living thing that crosses his path. No necessarily living, Magnus thought, there was one time where he spent an hour yelling at his furniture.

The only thing that can ease Magnus’ neurotic storm that brews within him is alcohol, the only thing that could calm the ever raging darkness seeking to consume his mind and annihilate it slowly dragging his body to utter destruction. That was the price to pay, for being different. There were very few people like him, with abilities like his, constantly haunted by the side-effects of their capabilities.

One of the side-effects apart from being slowly driven to madness by his powers, are the consistent mood-swings that appear at most random moments. He can’t control them, they just seep out of him like solar flares, trying to contain it, and to mute it only makes it worse. It is better just to let it pass, let it rage and try to minimise the damage by drinking himself half to death.

He wishes he could explain it, explain how it feels to his friends but he can’t. Mostly, he wishes he could explain it to Alec.

‘’Mr. Bane, Guardian Lightwood, thank you for joining us.’’ One of the guardians, Cartwright, Magnus recognised greeted them as they descended down the stairs, Alec just a few steps behind him.

‘’Guardians, Starkweather, Cartwright and Lovelace. We were not expecting you for at least another hour. Is something wrong?'' Alec approached the guardians and shook their hands. Magnus leaned against the railing of the stairs and didn’t even bother to acknowledge the presence of the guardians.

‘’Everything is fine Guardian Lightwood, we’re here to discuss the incident with the Penhallow family and the extra protection required for Mr. Bane’s attendance to the Silent Ball.’’ Magnus noticed Alec’s shoulder tense ever so slightly.

‘’The Silent Ball? I wasn’t aware that Mag-uh Mr. Bane was attending, I wasn’t notified about this.’’ Alec placed his fists on his hips and Magnus smirked as one of the younger guardians, Starkweather he guessed, drew one of his feet back as his eyes shifted from side to side. Alec was very intimidating, with his dark features and tall form his age didn’t matter if you were facing him one on one or if you were on the disagreeing line with him.

‘’I wasn’t aware of that either and if you don’t mind I will be retiring to my room.’’ Magnus started for his room but was stopped shortly by Alec who grabbed his elbow and drew him back. The guardians by the door frowned at their display. Magnus knew how guardians were supposed to treat their moroi, they were not supposed to be anything but a shadow ready to throw their life away for the moroi. That’s one of the things that Magnus liked about Alec, Alec didn’t shadow around Magnus like his previous guards and even though Magnus would refuse to admit it, Alec’s small defiance of his guardian teachings helped Magnus endure the loneliness that tormented him so often.

‘’Stay.’’ It was just one word and it made everything in Magnus explode with bliss. A blinding light that shone so hard behind his eyes that made Magnus crumble to his knees and grasp his head with tight fists. What was a gentle tremble of glistening glee turned into a spiteful thunderstorm pulling and tearing every rope and string in Magnus’ mind. Everything in Magnus felt like he was being pushed up against a rock hard surface by unimaginable pressure, he felt every cell in his body explode with burning fire, he could feel the pain slipping into every possible corner of his mind and then there was nothing. Silence.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Alec doesn’t know how he got there, he doesn’t remember arriving or how he ended up standing next to a white door in a hospital corridor so white and sterile it made his head hurt. He pushed his hands inside his pockets hoping that the tight closure of his pockets would stop them from shaking.

It’s as if he can still feel Magnus shaking in his arms as he carried him to the car and stayed by his side while the other guardians drove them to the hospital- specialised for moroi and dhampirs. One moment he was looking at Magnus expecting him to throw a snarky retort and then the next Magnus was on the floor, tearing at his head while screaming and gasping in pure agony. It was like all air went out of Alec, all the lessons and training that were drilled into his memory abandoned him in that moment. Alec acted on instinct, he lifted Magnus and barked orders to the shock-stricken guardians by the door. Magnus kept shaking as if possessed by an earthquake all the while to the hospital, he wasn’t screaming and Alec didn’t know if that was worse because instead of the ear-splitting screams Magnus kept gasping as if he was drowning, as if something was suffocating him, but his physical health was fine as judged by Alec’s brief examination. Whatever was happening was inside his head. When they arrived at the hospital, Magnus was ripped out of Alec’s hold and that was the last he saw of him.

Now he stood outside the room where Magnus was, he’s been standing there for the past seven hours. Just six hours ago the Queen Vasilisa Dragomir ran into the quarters of Magnus’ room, she slammed the door shut in Alec’s face and has remained there since. No doctors or anyone was allowed into the room under strict orders and Alec felt a surge of anger shift through his body. He was his guardian but that meant that he was only his physical guardian. He was supposed to shield Magnus’ body, protect him from any harm, he had no responsibility for what happens inside Magnus, he had no reason to protect Magnus’ feelings and ease his troubles and doubts...but what if he wanted to.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus woke up with a sense of a high, he lifted his hand to his head and smiled at the sensation that movement brought him, it was as if he was floating. He breathed in deeply and relaxed into the soft pillows supporting his head. Interrupting his sweet moment of comfort was a soft voice calling out to him. Magnus slightly opened his eyes, reaching out for the voice he longed to hear.

‘’Alexander.’’ He mumbled endearingly, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth but he didn’t care.

‘’No Magnus, this is Lisa.’’ Disappointment flooded through him and then the sudden realisation of where the source of that pleasing high came from forced him to sit up in his bed. He looked at the person sitting beside him. The Queen Vasilisa Dragomir, a dear friend of Magnus was facing him with a worried look embedded in her alarming green eyes that were pronounced to its extremities by her pearl white skin and soft blonde hair.

‘’Magnus, how are you feeling?’’ She sounded tired and Magnus knew why, which only caused him to grow angrier rather than pleased to his friend.

‘’Maybe I should ask you that considering what you just did.’’ Magnus fixed her with a look he has perfected very well whenever one of his annoying friends would get themselves into trouble. She only smiled at him and reached out to take his hand in her small delicate ones.

Lisa was very young for a queen, she certainly caused a lot of trouble and raised a lot of issues to get to where she is, aided by her closest friend Rose Hathaway who was an impressing guardian but liked her share of trouble way too much. Lisa was a great queen and an excellent ruler, she had a kind heart and a caring soul, Magnus was proud of her and just like Magnus himself, Lisa was constantly followed by the same darkness that was the reason to Magnus’ presence in the hospital. As Magnus adjusted his position in the bed he realised that it wasn’t as comfortable as he first thought it was, he frowned at the bed and reached for a glass of water standing on a bed side table. Lisa beat him to it and reached for the water herself and placed it gently in Magnus’ hands.

‘’You would have done the same for me Magnus.’’ She said sweetly.

‘’How do you feel?’’ Magnus asked still concerned about her health, he knew all too well how much using the special abilities he and Lisa had exerted them.

‘’I’m fine, I’ll recover once I feed.’’ She patted his hand and stood up from her chair to sit on Magnus’ bed. Magnus moved his legs to give her more space.

‘’Magnus, tell me what happened.’’ She looked at him with so much care that Magnus felt uncomfortable, but mostly he felt guilty, he promised her that he’d take better care of himself and he didn’t. He could hear Alec’s voice ringing in his head, telling him to take better care of himself. He smiled fondly.

‘’Why are you smiling?’’ Lisa asked confused. Magnus shook his head and reached for hands. Lisa always had a calming presence, she was the only person who understood what Magnus was going through after all.

The moroi specialise in four different element of magic which they can control; fire, water, earth or air. However, there have been very few, very rare cases where a moroi wouldn’t specialise in any of the elements and live their life without magic but there were even rarer cases where a moroi would specialise in a completely different branch of magic called spirit. Spirit was magic that was so much more complicated and so much more dangerous that any of the other four elements. Spirit had many powers and very few people specialised in it. With spirit you could do many things, you could talk to people in their dreams, you can have exceptional healing abilities, you could see auras and you can even save someone from death. That was the magic that both Magnus and Lisa specialised in. But spirit was also a very dangerous magic, it was magic that if abused and overused could kills its user, drive them to the edges of insanity and force them to take their own life or just completely shut their body off, there was no returning from such consequences.

Using too much spirit could kill you, it brought you such darkness and terror that it was almost impossible to live with. Alcohol helped in soothing such madness, it slowed your brain, your senses and dulled the magic that begged to be used, it made it easier but not easy. Magic like that could also be dulled by medicine, it’s a method that Lisa used for some time, it shut her off from magic completely but when it came back the effect of it was twice as strong. Magnus thought about resorting to medicine but decided against it for other reasons. Having someone to share that darkness with also helped, that happened when someone who specialises in spirit brought someone from the dead, it is a very complex procedure, the person must be just lingering on the brink of death when a moroi with spirit could use their magic to bring them back, this of course could be fatal to both people but if it was successful the person brought form the dead would become shadow kissed, they would develop a strong psychic bond with the spirit use who brought them back and be bound to them forever. They would be able to feel what they feel, they could even access their consciousness and view their life through their eyes, the bond only works one way so the person who brought their shadow kissed form the dead would not be able to feel what they feel and see though their eyes, only the one who was saved could. It might seem like a cool bond between best friends but it’s not, because where there is spirit there is always darkness and looming madness, the darkness would be shared between the two people with the bond, the shadow kissed could extract some of the darkness form the spirit user that saved them and let it do it’s madness upon them. It’s dangerous and it’s never easy, but because it’s shared between two people it’s more manageable and easier to live with. Lisa had such a bond with her best friend and guardian Rose, Lisa saved Rose using her spirit magic when Rose almost died in a car crash that killed Lisa’s family. After Lisa saved Rose, Rose could feel and know what Lisa was thinking, they shared the darkness amongst themselves.

That was not the case for Magnus. Magnus refused to let medicine dull his magic, he did not have someone who was shadow kissed and could take away his madness so the only thing he did have was alcohol and so that’s who Magnus entrusted to keep him sane. Lisa’s power was that she had strong healing abilities, she was also strengthening her abilities to see auras and walk in dreams. She used her healing powers to help people quite often and that’s exactly what she did to Magnus, she infused her magic in him and managed to calm his mind, calm the darkness wreaking havoc within. Spirit healing was extreme, it gave people a high almost like vampire venom, it engulfed them in a beautiful bliss so warm and safe you could get yourself lost in it. But, spirit was spirit and using a lot of your powers took a toll on your health, that’s why Magnus was so concerned about Lisa, he didn’t want her suffering for him.

Magnus looked at his friend and was about to respond when a light knock interrupted them. Catarina Loss, who worked in the hospital and was one of Magnus’ greatest friends walked in and wacked him on the head with the back of her hand.

‘’How is the idiot?’’ She turned to Lisa and her features softened once she looked at Lisa. Because of spirit Lisa’s ability to use compulsion was much stronger, compulsion was the power to get people to do what you want, control their minds and basically make muppets out of people. All the vampires could use compulsion, however it was not encouraged and was deeply frowned upon. Lisa didn’t use compulsion on people, she hated in fact, but the fact that her compulsion was stronger than average it just naturally made her more charismatic and charming, however she didn’t need compulsion to make people like her, she was such a sweet person that people would do anything for her simply because Lisa is an amazing person. She laughed at Catarina and Magnus rolled his eyes.

‘’He seems fine, for now.’’ She said it light heartedly but there was still concern laced with her tone. Catarina fixed him with an angry stare but there was fear behind her eyes which made Magnus feel all that more guilty.

‘’I’m fine, really, don’t worry about it.’’ He tried to reassure them but he had a hard time reassuring himself. Very few people knew that Magnus was a spirit user, Lisa made it so that any spirit user who did not want their magic to be exploited had the right to keep it secret. Only Lisa and very few trusted people would know about the spirit user, of course the spirit user had the right to choose whether they wanted others to know or not. Their abilities would also be kept out of any public files, meaning that Alec didn’t know about Magnus. For the world Magnus was never known to specialise in anything, it was possible and it happened that moroi wouldn’t specialise in anything, so Magnus decided to go with that story. Only Catarina, Lisa and his other two dear friends Ragnor and Raphael, were the only ones who knew that Magnus specialised in spirit. Magnus really wanted Alec in the room, he was scared to think about what Alec might think of this new revelation but he wanted Alec to know, because Alec brought safety that Magnus so frequently associated Alec with.

Magnus has been having nightmares where he was constantly chased by strigoi and every single time Alec would shield Magnus with his body, telling him to run and protect himself and every time Magnus would stay behind Alec’s back as he watched his guardian leap at the strigoi and fight for Magnus. Magnus never knew if Alec survived or not, the dreams would end abruptly waking Magnus up in a heap of tangled sheets damp with sweat.

Magnus was still unsure about Alec, their relationship had a lot of gaps and unresolved signs that neither of them acted on to figure out. Their relationship was different from an average dhampir and moroi relationship, Alec was still a pain in the ass and Magnus could guarantee that Alec thought the same, but there was something there, something that Magnus can’t quite access just yet.

Lisa and Catarina looked at him doubtfully, Magnus rolled his eyes not finding a more suitable response, he made an attempt to climb out of the bed but Catarina gently pushed him back down.

‘’Not so fast, you need rest.’’ She said squeezing his shoulder in emphasis.

‘’Oh and by the way there is a distressed dhampir guardian outside, do you want me to let him in?’’ She added. Magnus’ heart clenched as he realised that Alec must have been the one to bring him to the hospital, that it was Alec who has been waiting by his door patiently after Magnus made a scene to collapse on him.

‘’Alexander.’’ He whispered quietly. Lisa looked at him with a sly smile.

‘’That’s Guardian Lightwood’s name, the one that I suggested and the same one who you called out for first thing.’’ She was smirking knowingly at him right now, which caused Catarina to raise her eyebrows. Before Magnus could protest, Catarina opened the door and called out to Alec who stumbled into the room as if he might miss the chance of a lifetime.

Magnus’ heart dropped at the sight of Alec, his clothes were a rumpled mess and his hair was sticking out in every direction, his cheeks were flushed and his hands had a slight tremble. His warm hazel eyes found Magnus’ and Magnus froze at the shiver that ran down his spine. Alec’s shoulders sunk in obvious relief, seeing Magnus awake and talking managed to loosen up the tight knots wringing his body with anxiety. They just stared at each other until a cough emitted from Catarina pulling the two men out of their daze. Alec’s flushed cheeks reddened just a bit more showing his embarrassment, he straightened his back and clasped his hands behind him trying to regain his composure. He bowed his head towards Lisa.

‘’Queen Vasilisa’’ He said politely. Lisa smiled at him, her eyes dancing with mschief.

‘’Please call me Lisa, Alec, you have no idea how thankful I am to you for bringing Magnus here, thank you.’’ She climbed from Magnus’ bed and was resting a hand on Alec’s shoulder. Alec smiled at her sweetly and nodded.

‘’I’m just glad he’s better.’’ He said quietly and as if looking for confirmation he looked at Catarina.

‘’Doctor Loss.’’ He greeted her politely. Catarina gave him a once over and Magnus would have rolled his eyes if he wasn’t so transfixed by Alec’s presence.

‘’It’s Catarina for you, and Magnus seems fine for the time being, he just needs to feed and get some strength back.’’ She smiled at him while also glancing at Magnus. Alec stiffened once again.

‘’He hasn’t fed yet?’’ He exclaimed a bit too loudly, the tips of his ears reddened and he coughed in embarrassment.

‘’Uh I mean I can arrange that right away.’’ He said and gestured towards the door awaiting Catarina’s approval.

‘’It’s alright, I can do that myself, I will give you two some time.’’ Catarina smiled and ushered out, fixing Magnus with a tentative smile and this time Magnus did roll his eyes. Lisa looked from Alec to Magnus and then waved her hands awkwardly in front of her. She decided upon walking towards Magnus and enveloping him in a hug.

‘’I’ll be heading out to feed but I’ll be coming to see you before I leave okay?’’ She said as she pulled away.

‘’Of course, take care of yourself Lis.’’ Magnus found his voice hoarse and had to cough to make it more even. Lisa smiled and left closing the door behind her.

There is a special feeding programme set up for the moroi. Moroi would feed off humans who have volunteered, they are treated with respect and with best quality, they are volunteers so they can come and go whenever they want by choice. Their memories are altered by compulsion so they wouldn’t tell the world about the existence of vampires, other than that humans love to volunteer as the bite of a moroi and the venom released gives a high to be desired.

Alec shifted on his feet, looking at the ground. Magnus found that very adorable.

‘’Hi’’ Magnus started and Alec looked up as if surprised that Magnus was talking to him, which caused Magnus to smile.

‘’Hey’’ Alec responded and walked towards the side of bed to sit on the chair that Lisa was previously seated on.

‘’H-how are you feeling?’’ Alec stuttered and Magnus couldn’t help but laugh, this made Alec glare at him and Magnus found himself comforted by the tiny squint of Alec’s eyes.

‘’Better than you look.’’ Magnus winked and Alec rolled his eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Magnus looked at Alec. He wanted to tell Alec about spirit, about how it feels, how scared he is and how much he wished Alec could understand but he froze. Not because he doubted Alec’s reaction but because as Magnus observed the innocence and sweet serenity surrounding Alec, he realised he didn’t want to tarnish that, he didn’t want to burden Alec with his problems, he wanted Alec to have the peace that he couldn’t have for himself.

‘’Hey, what’s wrong?’’ Alec asked, he looked at Magnus’ hands as if he wanted to reach out and take them to comfort Magnus, and Magnus’ hands itched for comfort but he knew neither of them would do it. Magnus huffed a laugh.

‘’What’s wrong? How many hours passed since the last time we insulted each other?’’ This caused Alec to laugh and Magnus bathed in the glory of that sound.

‘’Well you just did a second ago.’’ Alec laughed and Magnus smiled fondly at him.

‘’I was just joking, you know you’re quite the sight to heal sore eyes.’’ Magnus wiggled his eyebrows. Alec just blushed harder and kept silent.

‘’How much time did pass?’’ Magnus said leaning back into the pillows, his smile vanished when he saw Alec grow pale and serious.

‘’It’s been seven hours Magnus.’’ Alec said looking down at his hands. Magnus wanted to hit himself, his heart ached for Alec but it was also pleasantly warm knowing that Alec worried for Magnus, that means he cares right?

‘’Alec-‘’ Magnus began.

‘’Alexander.’’ Alec interrupted correcting Magnus. Magnus gaped in surprise and Alec’s eyes widened once he realised what he did, before he could talk Magnus went on.

‘’Alexander…’’He began using Alec’s full name.

‘’I know what happened wasn’t exactly what you’ve been taught and I understand if you want to resign from your position as my guardian because I can’t promise you that something like this won’t repeat itself.’’ Magnus dared to look at Alec, he was surprised how much fear was flooding his body at the thought that Alec might feel relieved to hear this, however when he looked at Alec the young guardian’s eyes were staring at him in confusion. Magnus wished he knew what Alec was feeling, so he continued.

‘’I understand that this wasn’t exactly in your job description and I can’t ask you to do something you don’t want. Despite what you guardians think, not all moroi feel comfortable having someone dedicate their life for someone who is in constant danger.’’ Magnus was reminded of his nightmares and resisted the urge to cringe. He looked at Alec who was now smiling at him mockingly. Magnus thought he might collapse and let misery swallow him whole.

‘’Can’t wait to get rid of me Bane?’’ Alec laughed although it seemed hesitant as if Alec thought that that’s what Magnus actually wanted.

‘’I’m sorry but I’ll have to decline your proposition.’’ Alec said simply and so plainly that he had Magnus freeze for a second time since he woke up. Magnus did collapse down into his pillows, but only in relief.

‘’What can I say, you’re a pain in the ass.’’ Alec continued which earned him a glare from Magnus.

‘’But you’ve grown on me.’’ He added and he looked slightly embarrassed to admit that which of course made Magnus only that more giddy. What’s wrong with him? Magnus doesn’t get giddy, it must be the morphine and Lisa’s magic, yepp that’s right. Alec’s face shifted to a frown and Magnus realised that he has been staring at Alec. He gave Alec one of his smirks.

‘’Don’t tell me Alexander that you might actually like me.’’ Magnus laughed and when he opened his eyes he received a face full of pillow, he pushed the pillow off of his face after it made the inevitable contact.

‘’Don’t kid yourself.’’ Alec grumbled and Magnus just laughed, he found that easy somehow, despite lying in a hospital bed after his trip to crazy town.

‘’This is kind of nice.’’ Magnus admitted sleepily, he was growing tired.

‘’What is?’’ Alec asked startled as if he was momentarily lost in thought.

‘’Us, not arguing just talking, it’s… nice’’ This time Alec gave Magnus a sly smile.

‘’Don’t tell me Magnus that you might actually like me.’’ Alec laughed and Magnus reached to throw a pillow at him but Alec caught it mid-air and dropped it at Magnus’ feet.

Magnus glared at him which caused Alec’s hazel eyes to brighten with new light, that light, the light that promised safety and something more, something that Magnus still didn’t have access to.

‘’While you were asleep, I have discussed your attendance to the Silent Ball.’’ Alec leaned in sitting up straighter and Magnus resisted the urge to groan. Great, guardian business.

‘’Let me guess, ‘Magnus, it’s too dangerous we can’t go’.’’ Magnus tried to mimic Alec’s deep voice and failed unless Alec’s glare was a look that said ‘I approve’.

‘’Actually, I told them you’d be attending.’’ Alec said trying to hide a smile.

‘’I am?’’ Magnus blurted out surprised, Alec looked at him with his eyebrows raised.

‘’I mean, yes I am.’’ Magnus lifted his head higher and reached to fix his hair which caused him to panic slightly, hell knows how bad he looks! Seriously he would do anything for a mirror right now. He tried not to show his agitation in front of Alec.

‘’Of course we will be accompanied by an extra guardian, and we will have to stay within the premises so no wandering off and that’s only if you’re well enough to attend considering your current situation.’’ Alec cleared his throat gesturing to Magnus’ hospital bed. Magnus didn’t care, he would go to that ball even if he had to roll in there chained to the hospital bed.

‘’Thank you, Alexander, you continue to surprise me.’’ He whispered. Alec’s eyes widened just a fraction. Magnus wanted to hit himself again, he was supposed to keep that last part inside his head. Blame the morphine.

‘’In good ways I hope.’’ Alec replied and before Magnus could respond to that, the door opened and in came Catarina followed by a feeder.

‘’Magnus, this is Layla.’’ She introduced the girl who smiled at Magnus with a bright smile, her eyes were wandering around showing signs that she was just fed on. Moroi looked after their feeders, they wouldn’t let volunteers offer if they’ve been fed on too much already. Layla had a beautiful brown tone and curling black hair, she seemed somewhere in her early twenties. Magnus smiled at the girl whose smile only widened. Alec got up and glanced at Magnus.

‘’I’ll be just outside.’’ He nodded at Catarina and then left.

Catarina sat the girl down next to Magnus. The girl offered her wrist lazily and Magnus took it gently, he lowered his mouth to her wrist letting his fangs sink into the warm skin as the blood flowed into his mouth already giving him a sense of clarity.

 

* * *

 

 

Alec stepped out of Magnus’ hospital room and leaned against the wall, he let the cold surface cool his skin. Seeing Magnus awake and joking, falling into the usual mockery the two always indulged in provided Alec with relief beyond comprehension. He didn’t realise he couldn’t breathe properly until he saw Magnus sitting up in his bed. He still saw flashes of Magnus’ face scrunched up in pain, his mouth agape searching for air and his hands clinging to Alec’s shirt as if begging him to take the pain away, Alec decided that he never wanted to see Magnus like that ever again. 

It hasn’t been a day but during the antagonizing hours that Magnus was asleep Alec couldn’t help but miss him. You can’t really miss anyone until you feel like you’re going to lose them. Alec can’t explain why he suddenly developed this strong need to protect Magnus, to take care of him and make sure that whatever happened to him never happens again. He can’t explain it, he doesn’t know what it is but he isn’t leaving Magnus’ side. Magnus suggesting that Alec can quit his job hit a nerve in Alec, he didn’t want to leave Magnus, yes he has grown on him but it was more than that. Magnus was so many things, so many unknown things and Alec wanted to explore them but mostly seeing Magnus restricted by such pain, Alec wanted to make sure that whatever Magnus was going through he would not have to be alone.


	4. The Silent Ball

‘’Magnus turn it down.’’ Alec sighed glaring at Magnus out of the corner of his eye. Magnus reached his glimmering hand with rings seated on every finger. He pressed the buttons and the volume of the song only increased, Alec could feel the base vibrating through the wheel. He gritted his teeth knowing that shouting or showing even the slightest hint of irritation would motivate Magnus to cause more ruckus. He looked at Magnus who was smirking at him, instead of initiating a fight Alec turned his attention back to the road and started nodding his head along to the song, this caught Magnus’ attention and Alec resisted the urge to smile when he caught the moroi frowning at Alec’s lack of protest.

Alec continued by starting to tap the rhythm of the song out on to the steering wheel which made Magnus cross his arms over his chest, Magnus turned the music off all together when Alec started lip-syncing to the song, and this time Alec laughed out loud.

‘’It’s no fun when you’re having fun, you’re supposed to suffer.’’ Magnus proclaimed as he fixed the belt pressing him against the seat.

‘’How do you even know the song?’’ Magnus eyed him curiously and Alec could feel the heat creeping up his neck.

‘’Um Izzy liked to play her music really loud.’’ He smiled at the fond memory of his sister. He looked at Magnus expecting him to mock Alec but instead Magnus looked out the window with a small smile adorning his face. He turned to look at Alec and then put the music back on, at a much lower volume that was no louder than the whishing wind gliding past the car, much to Alec’s gratitude.

‘’You don’t talk about your family often…’’ Magnus looked towards the horizon in a daze.

‘’I wish you would.’’ Alec was surprised at Magnus’ words. It was becoming a common thing for them to have a short exchange of words that were genuine and gentle as opposed to mocking and taunting, not that Alec wasn’t completely genuine when he called Magnus an ass or that Magnus wasn’t genuine when he threw an orange at Alec and hit the TV instead. Alec coughed clearing his throat which suddenly went really dry.

‘’I have three younger sibling, Isabelle, Max and Jace. Jace was adopted by us when he was ten, but he’s no less of my brother.’’ Alec was sure that Magnus already knew that but Alec didn’t want to bore Magnus with his life story, which could easily be summed up by one word: boring.

‘’And what about your parents?’’ Alec’s wistful smile that always broke all barriers at the thought of his siblings suddenly turned into a frown. Not because Alec didn’t appreciate his parents for however much he did, it was because Alec knew that Magnus had no parents. He knew that Magnus’ mother committed suicide after she fell into deep depression. Magnus’ father left him when he was just a child, Alec didn’t want to say anything that would set Magnus off, he knew just how much the moroi loved to keep his emotions away from the prying eyes and torment himself over it later with a bottle of alcohol.

‘’They’re fine for guardian parents.’’ He kept it short and blunt, he didn’t want to dwell on his parents and he didn’t want to upset Magnus so he just kept his mouth shut, even though he could feel Magnus’ eyes on him expecting him to go on. Instead of trying to get Alec to talk, Magnus just rested his head on the window and stared with that haunted look in his eyes that made Alec squirm in unease.

They have been driving for twenty minutes to the Silent Ball that the Queen Vasilisa has organised for the moroi, in celebration of new laws and to pay respects to all the moroi that have died in Venice just last year after a group of strigoi and their leader Sebastian Morgenstern attacked and massacred twenty-three moroi. It was a great loss and the vampire world did not rest until they found the strigoi responsible and executed them for their crimes.

Before they left Magnus threw a tantrum over Alec’s choice of clothing. A guardian must always wear the usual guardian attire consisting of plain black clothing that allowed them to fight and move freely whenever they attended any event, Magnus found that concept ridiculous and complained for fifteen whole minutes about how Alec should have at least worn a jacket of colour.

After a two hour long ride Magnus and Alec were ready to escape the suffocating interior of the car. The ride was silent, Magnus wasn’t in any mood to talk and Alec didn’t want to provoke him. In all honesty he was afraid for Magnus, he didn’t want to do anything that would trigger the attack again, Magnus hated how tender and kind Alec has been acting towards him after they got back from the hospital, he hated it to the point where he did everything he could to piss Alec off. Alec broke after just two days, he snapped when he found Magnus in the kitchen flipping pancakes with his stake, it was the last straw, he could forgive Magnus’ awful charango playing in the middle of the night but he will not have Magnus stealing his stake and using it to flip pancakes, so he snapped, called him an uncultured dick and proceeded to ignore him for the rest of the day, he has never seen Magnus look so proud of himself.

Four days after that and they were exiting the car, joining the line of moroi leading into an ancient castle. Moroi ever so dramatic, Alec thought as he retrieved the invitation letter that was addressed to Magnus and his accompanying guardian.

Once their identities were approved they were led inside where they ventured through a dark tunnel that coiled deeper into the castle lighted only by small stones inserted into the wall glowing pure white. They descended down a spiral of stairs which Magnus found infuriating as he couldn’t stop tripping over his own feet, all those vampire senses and he couldn’t help himself from falling, he ended up holding onto Alec’s elbow for support as they made the rest of their way down. Once they entered the hall they were stopped short by the commotion in front of them, moroi dressed in most expensive suits and gowns, glided across the floor with bubbling champagne accessorising their hands. The hall was ginormous, it was lighted by huge chandeliers that swung from the high ceiling pouring yellow light over the pale moroi, the walls were decorated with red and gold linens and the decorations dotted around the room consisted of ancient statues, artworks and displays of old royal moroi paintings. This type of scene would typically send Alec walking back in the opposite direction but he was here to protect his moroi just like the rest of the dhampir guardians who stood silently in the corners of the room or followed their moroi from a close distance around the hall.

Alec looked at Magnus and lost his breath at the sight in front of him. Magnus wore a dark black tux with navy blue nurturing the lapels and cuffs as well as the eyelids of the man before him. His hair was styled perfectly into shape, not a single strand going out of place, the one strand of white dyed hair poked shyly in the midst of coal dark hair. The yellow light emitting from the chandeliers reflected from the glitter decorating Magnus’ lapels but what stole Alec’s breath away completely was the way the light ignited Magnus’ eyes to the point where they seemed amber gold. Magnus was beautiful, it was as simple as that, it didn’t matter now that Magnus was staring at Alec with confusion lingering on his features, Magnus was simply ethereal…quite magical.

‘’Alexander, are you okay?’’ Magnus leaned in to whisper and Alec wanted to do nothing more than run away and never look back, he knew for a fact that the thoughts running through his head were nothing short of sinful.

‘’I-I-uh y-yeah, I mean yes, yes, yes.’’ Alec stuttered as his hands slid apart from all the sweat. If the other guardians paid any attention to him, they’d be disappointed. Magnus looked at him dubiously and shook his head.

‘’Whatever you say.’’ Magnus let his eyes wander around the crowd until he spotted a familiar face, Queen Vasilisa. Magnus inclined his head towards her and Alec nodded, accompanying Magnus through the crowd. A hand landed on Alec’s shoulder and he spun around to face a friendly girl smiling up at him. Helen Blackthorn, her father was a moroi but her mother was a dhampir so even though she was raised in a royal family after her mother was killed during a strigoi attack, Helen decided she wanted to be a guardian and so she and Alec graduated St. Raziel’s together at the top of their class.

‘’Alec, it’s so good to see you.’’ She pulled him in a tight hug that others would have called un-lady-like, but that’s only if they wanted to get punched in the face.

‘’It’s great to see you too, Helen.’’ Alec smiled at her. She was the first familiar face he’d seen since he left for Magnus. Magnus who was now staring at Alec, glaring more like.

‘’Oh right umh Helen this is uh Magnus Bane, Magnus this is Helen Blackthorn.’’ Magnus smiled at the girl and shook her hand as she smiled up at him politely, like guardians are supposed to.

‘’Nice to meet you Mr. Bane.’’ She said formally and Alec could sense Magnus’ urge to roll his eyes at the formal tone he so hated.

‘’Please Helen, call me Magnus, anyone who can assemble the hideous guardian wear to look somewhat plausible can call me Magnus.’’ Magnus winked at her and Helen tried to hide her growing smile.

‘’Thank you I guess.’’ She blushed, well of course she blushed Alec thought, anyone passing by them took a double take on Magnus, whether it was his reputation or the way he looked, Alec wasn’t interested unless they could shoot actual daggers from their eye sockets, he just wanted to move away from this crowd.

‘’Helen, how have you been? Have you been assigned yet?’’ Alec tried distracting himself from all the stares to which Magnus seemed to gloat at receiving.

‘’I haven’t been assigned to anyone specific, I will probably end up with my family anyway but for now I’ve been working at the courts aiding and getting some field experience but this wasn’t what I came to tell you.’’ She stepped closer towards Alec and leaned in trying to preserve them from the curious glances.

‘’There is a room set up specifically for dhampir guardians, I was ordered to summon you there once you appeared.’’ She glanced towards the side of the hall to where a double door was open leading to a corridor with more doors lining the walls.

‘’Okay, I will be right there, just let me talk to Magnus.’’ He nodded an affirmation and turned to Magnus who somehow managed to adopt two glasses of champagne. Before even one of the glasses could reach Magnus’ lips Alec took them out of his hands and placed them on a tray of a waiter that passed by. Magnus stuck his tongue out at Alec, to which he responded by simply rolling his eyes. Helen was trying to hold back her amused expression.

‘’I have to disappear to attend to guardian business as you would call it, I’ll accompany you to Lisa and do not leave her side until I get back, got it?’’ Alec looked at Magnus expectantly. Magnus only grabbed Helen’s arm, linked them together and started walking towards Lisa. Alec followed them quietly behind trying not to scoff as Magnus offered Helen multiple fashion advice on how to make guardian clothes look less like funeral clothes.

Once they reached Lisa, Helen hastily parted away from Magnus and bowed her head greeting her formally, Alec did the same. Lisa only shook her head and hugged them both, she was very happy to see them and judging by the shine in her eyes it was safe to assume that she was slightly tipsy. Helen looked at Alec in surprised shock and Alec did the most useful thing and shrugged his shoulders.

‘’Lisa, it’s always great to see you and where is Rose? I haven’t seen her in a while.’’ Magnus exclaimed as he hugged Lisa tightly. Rose Hathaway was Lisa’s best friend and guardian.

‘’Magnus, you look great! Better than the rest of us like always, Rose was by the food the last time I saw her shall we go and join her before I am approached by the royals from France that keep eyeing me from the back.’’ She nudged her head not so subtly towards the supposed French royals and took Magnus’ arm leading him away.

‘’Bye Alec, bye Helen.’’ She yelled over her shoulder as she dragged Magnus away. Alec glared at Magnus in a warning to which he only received a smug salute. Alec located the food section, which was more for the purpose of decoration and the sakes of hungry dhampirs, once he was satisfied that it was not going to move and found the quickest path to get there after he’s done with the meeting, he turned around and walked with Helen to the guardian meeting room.

When he entered the room, he heaved a sigh of relief. The room didn’t have the exquisite decorations of the hall instead it consisted of a few white tables littered with technology, whiteboards with writing and other technological devices hanging on the walls, as well as a bunch of guardians dressed in black and white walking about. It was simple, plain and just the way Alec liked it, he wondered what Magnus’ reaction would be and smiled inwardly as he could hear the moroi’s groan in the back of his head.

Towards the end of the room Alec spotted Jace and Isabelle standing crowded around a tablet placed in Isabelle’s hands. Helen smiled at Alec.

‘’Your summoners’’ She hugged him one last time and walked away. Alec crossed the room trying not to let his smile freak the guardians around him.

‘’Izzy, Jace’’ He called them as he approached. His siblings looked up at his call and huge smiles stretched upon their faces.

‘’Alec!’’ They both exclaimed in unison and met him halfway in a group hug. They hugged each other tight and after they let go they just stood observing each other. Alec hasn’t seen his siblings in almost a month, that’s the longest he’s ever been away from them.

‘’So how is everything? What are you guys doing here?’’ He asked as he ruffled both of their hair which earned him two slaps on his hands.

‘’We have a week off to do some field experience so here we are.’’ Jace shrugged ever so casually leaning against a table. Izzy slapped him on the arm.

‘’What he means is that we miss you and even though he won’t admit it he was the one begging mom and dad to let us come here since we knew you’d be coming here with Magnus Bane.’’ Izzy smiled as Jace scowled at her although the scowl soon dispersed as he looked at Alec smiling broadly. Alec loved his siblings more than he can imagine loving anyone else.

‘’I missed you guys too, I’m really glad to see you both, really.’’ Alec was never good with words so instead of trying to tell them just how much he missed them he hugged them both one more time. Guardians usually don’t put such displays in front of others, but these were the Lightwood siblings and nothing could get in between that.

‘’Have you heard about the murders?’’ Jace asked, his face growing serious in an instant, him and Alec were alike in that matter, people used to say they’re the same person when it comes to a fight.

‘’Yes, I’ve read the reports. Humans drained of blood with bite wounds covering their whole bodies. Didn’t see anything to it at first, just a rogue strigoi probably a new born overtook by hunger, but then more and more humans started turning up, they’re getting suspicious.’’ Alec recalled the information that he had been reading through in his time. Izzy and Jace nodded in agreement.

‘’There’s no clear pattern in how these humans are disposed, it’s like they leave them where they feed on them.’’ Izzy said turning up a few articles released by humans on her tablet. They all leaned in to look.

‘’They’re getting suspicious, soon they’ll start thinking a serial killer is on the loose and that’s the attention we don’t need.’’ Jace said putting his arms behind his head.

‘’What do you think? Rogue strigoi feeding of humans like that without no reason or is it something more?’’ Isabelle said transferring the information from her tablet on to the projector screen.

‘’It could be that, but there are simply too many humans dead in just a week and all over the state, it’s not a job of one strigoi there has to be more.’’ Jace explained closing his eyes. He liked to pretend that everything was fine but Alec knew just how much he wanted to figure this out, just as much as Izzy and Alec and every other guardian in this room.

‘’It could be many things, if there were a group of strigoi acting up then someone in the group must have had the sense that what they’re doing is attracting attention from both the humans and dhampirs, maybe that’s what they want, to cause chaos.’’ Alec thought aloud.

‘’Wouldn’t be the first time.’’ Izzy added in.

‘’Have you found any links of this to the recent moroi murders?’’ Alec questioned. Jace pulled away from the wall and stood next to Alec.

‘’Other than the fact that none of the moroi that have been reported missing and turned up dead, died in the similar way that the humans did, there’s nothing, besides that’s almost all across the states.’’ Izzy explained.

‘’More than one group acting up or is it just one?’’ Jace asked as he opened up the files on the moroi murders.

‘’There’s not enough evidence to support anything, it’s all just theories for the time being.’’ Alec finished in a frustrated sigh. Nobody seemed to mind them or even notice them hunching over screens, technically neither Jace nor Izzy should be allowed access to the files and Alec who has just graduated wouldn’t be allowed either but no one was paying attention and who’s going to try to stop them anyway.

‘’What about Camille Belcourt and the rumoured strigoi Hell Hound, any of this links to them?’’ Alec asked, seeking new information. Being away in Magnus’ accommodation didn’t allow Alec to have access to much of the new information and gossip. All the guardians are updated on the major issues but everything else remains quiet, Alec gets his entail from his parents but mostly from Izzy who doesn’t acquire any of the information by any legal means.

‘’There have been rumours about them working together, so I wouldn’t be surprised.’’ Izzy hummed as she scrolled through the database bringing up their profiles on the small screen of her phone. If anyone caught Izzy snooping through the heavily secured database she could face expulsion so it’s better to play safe.

‘’Camille Belcourt was last seen in France, rumour has it she’s dealing human blood to powerful strigoi one of which could be the Hell Hound himself as he was last rumoured to be in France just a month ago, no one is sure.’’ Izzy continued explaining in a hushed tone as Alec and Jace surrounded her.

Camille Belcourt is a famous strigoi who has lived for a few centuries, she is known for dealings in humans and many riches of the world, however every time guardians come close to locating her she disappears without a trace only to be found in another part of the world by the next two days. The Hell Hound is a different case, no one knows who he is only that he is strigoi and probably the most powerful one in the world, and guardians can never get any solid leads on him, only rumours to go by, he’s seen as some sort of legend between the strigoi. Hundreds of innocents have died because of him and no one came close to ever finding him or having a shot at killing him. The idea that the Hell Hound and Camille Belcourt could be working together has been rumoured and doesn’t seem so far stretched so it’s a possibility and since both strigoi are known for their inhumane deeds no one would put it past them to go about murdering humans and moroi alike.

‘’Is there anything that wouldn’t be put on the database? Anything they don’t want others to know?’’ This question was directed at Jace who knew people who knew people that knew people, Alec was not happy with his brother’s explanation of how he seemed to know everything but he decided to let it go after he realised it was pointless trying to figure it out.

‘’I heard from someone who knew someone-‘’ Jace began.

‘’Spare us.’’ Alec shot Jace an exasperated look as Izzy slapped him on the arm once again.

‘’Fine, the Queen has been having frequent secret meetings with some of the most elite dhampir guardians concerning Camille Belcourt and the Hell Hound, I don’t know what it’s about but it seems that we’re all pretty much linking these murders to the two of them, so chances are it really is them which means the court is on high alert preparing for the worst.’’ Jace explained glancing around making sure no one is eavesdropping. Alec took it all in, wheels turning in his head creating theories.

‘’So no one knows anything? We’re walking blind here, they shouldn’t keep any information from us it’ll only makes things worse.’’ Alec did not like it when things we’re being kept away from him, how is he-is anyone- supposed to do their job with nothing to go on.

‘’It’s gonna be fine, it’s not like they’d let us do anything about it anyway.’’ Izzy tried to comfort them, even though she knew well enough that neither of her brothers liked to be left in the dark, she didn’t like being excluded either.

‘’Guardian Lightwood?’’ A monotone voice spoke up behind them. Izzy quickly turned everything off and Jace delivered his innocent smile.

‘’Yes?’’ Alec asked, harsher than he expected.

‘’Guardian Santos hasn’t arrived yet, he will not be able to accompany Mr. Bane with you.’’ The man looked like he was about to fall asleep on his feet as he delivered the message. Guardian Santos was the extra guardian they wanted to place at Magnus’ side while attending the ball.

‘’It’s fine, Jace can fill in.’’ Alec turned to his brother in agreement and Jace nodded in return.

‘’Who?’’ The man spoke up as if startled out of sleep.

‘’Jace Lightwood, the all lady’s man, charming and fierce.’’ Jace declared wistfully clearly mocking the man.

‘’Whatever.’’ The man turned on his heels and walked away. Alec glared at his brother.

‘’What? I was being honest.’’ Jace defended himself.

‘’You were being a self-obsessed ass.’’ Alec retorted. Izzy snorted and hopped onto a table gracefully.

‘’Go, you two are giving me a headache.’’ Izzy shooed them off as she fixed her gaze back onto her phone no doubt trying to crack into some secret files, Alec didn’t know whether he should be worried or proud. He gave her a quick goodbye hug and pulled back smiling.

‘’Say hi to Mr. Babe oops I mean Mr. Bane for me please?’’ She pinched Alec teasingly who just rolled his eyes and started walking away from Jace’s inquisitive look.

Jace and Alec exited the room and started making their way towards the food section where Alec could see Magnus laughing with Lisa, he smiled at the sight but his heart clenched as the image of Magnus crumpled in pain flashed across his eyelids.

‘’You okay?’’ Jace asked at the same time as Magnus’ head turned in their direction.

‘’I’m fine.’’ Alec responded curtly and started walking towards Magnus.

‘’So…’’ Jace began.

‘’Mr. Babe?’’ He cooed and Alec never wanted to slap his brother so hard in his entire life and there have been many occasions.

‘’Shut up.’’ He grumbled and Jace laughed.

‘’Does he call you Mr. Hardwood?’’ Jace’s little laughing fit was replaced by groaning as Alec kicked him in the shin and walked away from the scene that attracted disapproving glares from the crowd, with a flushing face.

‘’Alexander, I was wondering where you’ve been.’’ Magnus exclaimed twirling a glass of champagne in his hand. Jace caught up to Alec purposely stepping on his foot. Alec elbowed his brother as he reached to take the champagne glass from Magnus’ hand.

‘’I was enjoying that thank you very much.’’ Magnus moaned.

‘’You’re welcome.’’ Alec responded as he placed the glass on the table.

‘’Hey Alec.’’ Lisa quipped up not even trying to hide her amusement at Alec’s and Magnus’ interaction.

‘’Hello Lisa.’’ Alec greeted her with the usual formality. Jace coughed next to him.

‘’Magnus, Lisa this is my brother Jace Lightwood.’’ Alec introduced Jace to the both of them. Jace bowed his head in Lisa’s direction.

‘’Queen Vasilisa.’’ Alec could see Magnus rolling his eyes. Lisa looked at Jace with sheer amusement and winked at him to which Jace the all lady’s man turned a furious red, Alec resisted the urge to snort but Magnus didn’t. Jace’s head snapped in his direction.

‘’Mr. Bane, uh a pleasure.’’ He shook Magnus’ hand.

‘’Guardian Lightwood.’’ Alec knew that Magnus was teasing Jace, but Jace was oblivious to it and turned an even deeper shade of red.

‘’I’m still a novice.’’ He spluttered, Alec wanted to pull out his phone and film it all, it was legendary. The almighty Jace a stuttering mess, Alec will never let him forget this and judging by the panicked look that Jace shot Alec, he knew he will forever be reminded of this moment by his older brother.

‘’Jace will be filling in for Guardian Santos who isn’t here at the moment.’’ Alec supplied to Magnus who was looking at Jace intently.

‘’So I get two Lightwood brothers, excellent the more the merrier.’’ Magnus exclaimed as he reached for another glass of champagne from a passing waiter unfortunately for him Alec slapped his hand away before he could get within reach. Magnus rolled his eye while Jace looked astounded by his brother’s behaviour. Guardians were not supposed to act like that with their moroi but those who say that obviously have never encountered anyone like Magnus Bane although Alec doubted anyone could even come close to being anything like Magnus Bane.

‘’Have you heard anything new from the guardians about the murders?’’ Lisa asked. Her face shifted into one of fatigue and guilt, she was a caring Queen and took every loss even a strangers to the heart as if they’ve been friends for the best part of her life. Jace straightened up, the weight of the murders undermined every guardian no matter their experience and age. But what caught Alec’s attention was the way Magnus' body tensed and his face turned pale, Alec had a moment of panic but all eyes were on him seeking answers.

‘’No, no one knows who’s behind them, most are suspecting Camille Belcourt and the Hell Hound to be involved.’’ It was risky revealing his speculations to the Queen, he’s not exactly supposed to know this and Jace kicked Alec’s foot subtly to remind him just of that. By this point Magnus looked ready to puke as his eyes darted from one place to another never focusing on anything for more than a second.

‘’Right, I’ve been informed of all the possibilities and we’re doing everything we can to investigate more into Camille and the Hound, we’re just trying to keep it quiet for now not to cause panic.’’ Lisa looked at Alec with contempt and he could see the power and determination swimming in those jade green eyes. A whistle from behind them pulled them out of the heavy atmosphere, they turned around to see a young woman with dark features smiling up at them and waving Lisa over.

‘’That’s Rose, I better go.’’ Lisa excused herself, hugging Magnus briefly, whose hands were showing off a slight tremble. Alec looked at Magnus but the man ignored his stare and turned around to pick at some grapes. Jace looked between Magnus and Alec.

‘’Is everything okay?’’ Jace asked concerned.

‘’Yeah, I think so.’’ Alec replied although he felt far from okay, Magnus looked ready to faint. Alec was not ready to face another attack, he could not look at Magnus’ tortured form yet again.

‘’Give me a second?’’ Alec turned to his brother. Jace nodded and backed up to stand by some other guardians keeping Alec and Magnus within his eyesight. Alec pulled Magnus by his elbow to face him.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Alec questioned. He recognised in Magnus’ expression that he hated how tender Alec sounded. Magnus pulled his arm out of Alec’s hand and did everything to avoid Alec’s gaze.

‘’Magnus please, you don’t look well. We can leave.’’ At his last words Magnus jumped up.

‘’No, I’d like to stay. I’m fine Alexander.’’ Magnus smiled sweetly. Alec was not convinced.

‘’Really, it’s just been a long time since I’ve been in a large crowd.’’ Alec could notice how hard Magnus was trying to hide something, he wanted Magnus to trust him. He needed Magnus to trust him, how else is he supposed to protect him? But maybe he just liked knowing that Magnus was confident in sharing things with Alec with complete faith.

Alec did not want to pressure Magnus, careful not to drive him over the edge, instead he reached into the jacket of his uniform and pulled out Magnus’ lucky flask. He nudged it towards Magnus, who seemed to be too surprised by this small act to react. He took the flask with some hesitation out of Alec’s grip and opened it. He looked at Alec as if he was expecting him to snatch it out of his hands.

‘’If it’s water Alexander trust me when I say I will disown you as my guardian.’’ Alec shook his head as some weight was lifted of his chest.

‘’It’s not, I promise.’’ Alec responded bemused. Magnus took a swing and closed his eyes, Alec noticed that the tremble in his hands had not disappeared.

‘’C’mon, there’s a few people I’d like to speak to.’’ Magnus headed towards the crowded middle of the hall. Alec stayed by his side with Jace tracking them just a few feet behind, as he was supposed to. Alec had all the confidence in his brother in making sure Magnus was safe.

Magnus greeted and charmed everyone that approached him, it was amazing how easy it came to him, how easily he could make people fall in love with him, Alec admired that knowing that if it was him he’d screw things up ten seconds into a conversation. After some time Magnus told Alec he could go to his brother and chat instead of torturing himself among these moroi, Alec protested but Magnus insisted that he will be fine. Alec has been watching Magnus for the past twenty minutes as he chatted with different moroi with Jace by his side. They managed to catch up on some guardian stuff as well as personal lives like Jace’s training and his graduation. Alec cared about his siblings more than he did for himself, it was important that both of them were doing well in every aspect of their lives.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus was only half paying attention to what was going on around him. He smiled in response and remained silent in the conversations. He was conscious of Alec’s eyes trailing his every movement and even though he loved the attention he wanted nothing more but to escape everyone. He felt exhausted, his head swam and his hands haven’t stopped shaking since Alec mentioned Camille Belcourt and the Hell Hound. Very few knew but Magnus had his own personal history with Camille Belcourt and the Hell Hound but it’s a history Magnus wished to erase and since he couldn’t do that, he just wished to forget and avoid any mentions of the two people who made Magnus’ life that much harder. They are partly the reason as to what made the Queen worry for his safety, partly the reason for why Magnus’ reputation was so immensely popular and partly the reason for making the darkness that threatens to consume Magnus’ entire being, worse.

He excused himself from his company and seeing that neither Alec nor Jace were looking at him Magnus glided swiftly between the bodies and towards one of the doors leading out of the hall. Once away from the buzzing chatter and the suffocating air Magnus slid down a wall in an empty room and let his mind wonder freely. It kept summoning the faces of those who have hurt him the most and with those faces came the inevitable feeling of dread and misery. Pulling himself up on his feet Magnus pulled out his lucky flask and emptied its contents into a nearby vase, the alcohol would only dull his magic and therefore still the darkness crippling him but just in this moment he wanted to be lost within that black hole he fears so much. It’s what spirit does to you, it pulls and pulls at you when you’re at your weakest and you can no longer feel sorry for yourself so you just let yourself drown in despair thinking you deserve it. If only Magnus had the courage to stop Camille when he could, all these innocents would not be dying now. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know, his mind tried to help defend him but Magnus just wanted to get away and escape the constant turmoil boiling inside him.

 

* * *

 

 

‘’Alec just calm down.’’ Jace tried to reassure his brother as the latter one pushed past people earning death glares.

‘’Dammit Jace, I can’t see him.’’ Alec can’t believe that he lost sight of Magnus, how could he not see him leave. Alec couldn’t stop pacing looking over the heads of the passing moroi, searching every corner for a glimpse of Magnus.

‘’Where are you?’’ Alec didn’t recognize the anxiety building inside him, he was not familiar to the sinking feeling in his chest but it’s not something he wants to get used to, he has to find Magnus.

‘’Jace! Alec!’’ A familiar voice erupted and Izzy emerged.

‘’We have a problem.’’ Izzy exclaimed.

‘’Is it Magnus? Have you seen him? Is he okay?’’ If Izzy was surprised by Alec’s sudden outburst she didn’t show. Instead her face looked sorrowful.

‘’I haven’t seen Magnus and if you lost him you need to find him Alec. There’s been an attack twenty miles from here, all the guardians are on high alert, they want to evacuate the place.’’ Izzy looked strained and Jace reached for Alec but it was hopeless, Alec was already speeding across the crowd. He was ready to search every single room until he found Magnus.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus wondered the hallways, occasionally stopping to admire artwork or snoop around where he shouldn’t. Allowing himself some free time helped him calm his mind and when he felt stable enough he started to make his way back to the hall room, knowing that Alec would be freaking out due to his absence. That’s when he heard the commotion echoing down the halls. His sensitive hearing could pick up on the panicked tones and the thundering rushing of footsteps. Something was wrong.

Magnus rushed towards the hall, he needed to get to Alec, he needed to make sure he was okay. He came to an abrupt stop just before the entrance to the hall, people were running and yelling at one another, guardians struggling to organize the unfolding chaos and just in front of all that was a little girl sitting on the floor sobbing and hugging her knees. Magnus approached her carefully, how can no one notice a little girl all by herself?

‘’Hey sweetpea.’’ Magnus reached towards the girl and placed his hand gently on her shoulder. The girl jumped at the contact but did not cry out.

‘’I’m Magnus, what’s your name?’’ Magnus urged gently, he summoned tiny amounts of his magic to make the little girl calm down, just a tiny bit to make her feel at ease but not enough to overwhelm her.

‘’Madzie.’’ The little girl whispered. The little bit of magic helped her calm down, she was no longer crying.

‘’I think I’m hurt.’’ She winced as she extended her arm to show it to Magnus. Magnus took the girls arm to examine it closer. There was a gash across her arm that extended from her elbow to the wrist, it was bad but the bleeding has stopped due to the moroi girl’s healing abilities, but she was young and would take longer to heal.

‘’How did this happen?’’ Magnus tried to not scare the girl as he enveloped her arm in his hands and took a deep breath.

‘’They were all running and I was pushed, I fell on a table and cut my arm.’’ The girl explained as she looked at Magnus with curiosity. Magnus smiled at her kindly.

‘’It will be okay Madzie, trust me.’’ The little girl smiled and nodded her head. Magnus reached deep into his magic and welcomed the pure light that flooded him with warmth and the unexplainable feeling of serenity that spirit always brought when used. Spirit was magic with many risks but it was also magic that allowed Magnus to help those in need. He let that light spread to Madzie, he heard the little girl gasp and when he opened his eyes he saw that the gash on her arm sealed as if it never existed in the first place. Magnus smiled, he felt light headed and a bit weak but that’s how it was whenever he used spirit for healing, it takes a lot of your energy but it’s worth it.

 

* * *

 

 

Alec didn’t stop running, he must have searched every single room and taken every single route but none of them led to Magnus. He decided to make his way back to the hall hoping he’d discover Magnus there but that was unnecessary when he came upon Magnus kneeling next to a little girl.

Alec watched as Magnus took hold of the girl’s arm that supported an open wound. Alec watched as Magnus closed his eyes and for a split second Magnus seemed to disappear in a flash of light, his face contorted into peace and home like comfort, something Alec has never seen to rest on the man’s face. A small gasp escaped the girl and when Alec followed her eyes to her arm he saw that the wound was no longer there, it was gone, healed. Alec wanted to hit himself over the head repeatedly, how could he not realize it. Magnus was a spirit user, just like Lisa, the only ones who would be capable of such healing abilities. Magnus looked on the verge of collapsing and so Alec crossed the few feet separating them and crouched down next to Magnus, supporting him up by the shoulders.

‘’Hey, you okay?’’ He whispered, Magnus looked up at him and smiled lazily. Alec pulled Magnus to his feet. Magnus swiped Alec’s arms off of him and bent down to help the little girl up.

‘’How did you do that?’’ The little girl asked amazed. Magnus tensed up but did not look at Alec.

‘’I can’t tell you sweetpea, but remember this. You got separated from your parents and ended up here, you did not get hurt and will not remember what happened, I found you and now I will take you to your parents.’’ Magnus’ voice was soft and entrancing. He was using compulsion on the girl, Alec realized, and of course the little girl looked dazed for a few seconds and then startled as if just now did she notice Alec and Magnus standing next to her.

A sudden wave of anger washed over Alec, the emotions of this evening just came speeding at him full force. He was angry at Magnus, he was angry for Magnus wanting to come here, for disappearing, for not telling Alec that he specialised in spirit, angry that Magnus didn’t trust Alec to tell him anything of what Magnus was going through, but most of all he was angry at himself because now he knew that there was nothing he could do to help Magnus. Magnus was alone with spirit, Alec knew what spirit was capable of and the fact that Magnus is alone to endure all of this torture made Alec’s heart ache with emotions he could not identify.

‘’C’mon, let’s get her to her parents and go home.’’ Alec put up a wall of ice, he knew if he let himself get lost in all he felt he’d snap at Magus and the latter did not deserve it. The little girl reached for Magnus’ hand and Magnus welcomed it smiling at the little girl.

‘’I’m Madzie.’’ The girl supplied cheerfully. Magnus looked down at her sadly. ‘’Hello Madzie, I’m Magnus and this is Alec.’’ It didn’t feel right to hear Magnus say Alec’s name like this. Alec looked down at the girl and tried to muster up a child friendly smile. The girl gave him a shy smile.

‘’Are you a guardian?’’ She asked.

‘’Yes, yes I am.’’ Alec replied and the girl’s eyes widened.

‘’Do you have any molnija marks?’’ She asked, excitement filling her voice. Molnija marks were awarded to dhampir guardians whenever they killed a strigoi, one molnija mark for one dead strigoi. The marks were tattooed on the back of their necks around their promise mark. Many guardians had their whole necks covered, some guardians spent their whole lives with no molnija marks, they’re either lucky enough to have never encountered a strigoi or they die when they face their first strigoi ever. Most graduate without any molnija marks and only acquire them years later.

‘’Umh I do, just one though.’’ Alec replied, his throat felt itchy and he looked away from the little girl, he could feel Magnus’ eyes on him but he decided upon walking in front of Magnus and Madzie, covering them from the rushing bodies as they made their way into the hall. Alec did not like to think about how he got his molnija mark, he did not like to remember that night…no one in his family did.

‘’How did you get it?’’ Madzie asked, completely oblivious to Alec’s distress, before Alec could answer a woman came rushing towards them. She caught Madzie in a hug and pressed her close to her chest.

‘’Madzie, don’t ever scare me like that ever again.’’ The woman cried into the girls shoulder.

‘’It’s okay nana, Magnus and Alec found me.’’ The girl explained looking up at Magnus and Alec with hero worshipped daze. Her eyes flew to the stake captured in Alec’s hand that Alec didn’t even realize he has taken out.

‘’Cool stake.’’ Madzie giggled and Alec couldn’t resist the smile seeping out.

‘’I’m Iris, and thank you so much for helping Madzie. The attack, it was terrible, the guardians are evacuating the castle.’’ The woman, Iris, looked down at Madzie and stroked her cheek gently. She pulled away after Magnus reassured her that it was no big deal. Magnus looked over at Alec with a questioning look.

‘’I don’t know anything other than that there was an attack reported twenty miles away from here.’’ Alec explained and started heading out. He caught Izzy’s and Jace’s attention from across the hall and signed to them that he’s leaving. They looked upset but nodded in understanding. Alec grabbed Magnus by the elbow and led him out.

After they checked out with the guards positioned outside they got in their car. Alec did not like the silence compressing on them but he was too mad at Magnus to chat.

‘’You’re mad at me.’’ Magnus concluded. Alec felt like replying ‘no shit’ but that would only strike an argument. He heaved a heavy sigh and accelerated as a response of agreement to Magnus’ statement.

‘’I know you must have questions.’’ Magnus began and Alec could sense his unease, it caused something to loosen up within Alec.

‘’It’s nothing we can’t discuss tomorrow.’’ Alec put forth. Magnus sunk into his chair. In all honesty Alec wanted to know everything and he had a lot of questions but he would never make Magnus say something he didn’t feel comfortable in telling Alec. Alec wanted Magnus to trust him and confronting Magnus about spirit was not the way.

‘’Just don’t- don’t disappear like that again.’’ Alec said after ten minutes of silence. Magnus looked over at him and Alec spared a glance at him. Magnus looked pale and tired but there was surprise in his eyes, as if he’s constantly amazed by Alec’s words.

‘’I won’t.’’ Magnus replied as he made to reach for Alec’s hand but pulled back at the last second. Alec decided to ignore that small gesture no matter how many questions it raised in his head, no matter how fast his heart was beating in that moment.

‘’You should have told me Magnus. It’s my job to protect you and you’re not making it very easy for me.’’ Alec did not want to argue, he just wanted to go home and let Magnus rest, but sometime he just couldn't help it, not when it came to Magnus.

‘’Your job?’’ Magnus scoffed. Alec thought he saw hurt flash in Magnus’ face but if he saw it then it was gone the second it appeared. Magnus was good at hiding things, Alec thought.

‘’I am your guardian Magnus, I need to protect you.’’ Alec tried to sound reasonable.

‘’Need to? Don’t make it sound like I’m holding you prisoner. I told you before Alec, you don’t have to be my guardian, you can leave.’’ Magnus remarked. Alec did not want to acknowledge the pang of hurt at hearing Magnus use the shorter version of his name.

‘’And I told you I don’t want to.’’ Alec retorted as he looked over at Magnus. Magnus was clearly ignoring him and Alec did not understand why they were having this conversation. Alec would not leave Magnus, he didn’t know why he was so adamant about it, but it seemed like a simple and easy comprehendible fact to Alec, he would not leave Magnus and that’s it.

‘’I was worried, that’s all.’’ Alec mumbled silently and turned his eyes back on the road. Magnus turned to look over at Alec. He could feel the man’s gaze observing him and he felt very exposed all of a sudden but he did not feel uncomfortable, he felt at ease like having Magnus by his side was how it was supposed to be. Alec could feel his anger dissolving and he eased his grip on the steering wheel.

‘’Okay...I’m sorry.’’ Magnus whispered. Alec looked over at him one more time. Magnus looked dishevelled.

‘’Sleep, I’ll wake you when we get home. What you did it wasn’t easy, it took a lot out of you.’’ Alec spoke softly and Magnus smiled at him.

‘’Yeah, it did.’’ And with that he let his head rest on the window.

Alec parked the car outside after making a few circles around the house to make sure no one was tracking them. He shook Magnus gently by the shoulder and helped him get out of the car. Magnus was growing weaker by the second. The moment they entered the house Magnus collapsed on Alec.

‘’Magnus, hey c’mon.’’ Alec half carried Magnus to the nearest couch and seated the moroi. Magnus was pale, his eyes were unfocused and his movement were limp and disorientated.

‘’Magnus, hey look at me.’’ Alec urged but received no response as Magnus’ head simply fell into Alec’s hand.

‘’Dammit.’’ Alec cursed under his breath. Magnus needed to feed, he hasn’t fed this morning. They were supposed to drive to the nearest feeding centre after the ball but due to the attack everything was on lock down. Usually Magnus would have feeders arrive to the house but it’s almost daytime-night for vampires- and no one is available. Using spirit did not improve his condition, if Alec didn’t act fast he doesn’t know what would happen to Magnus and he didn’t want to find out. Hopelessness was starting to itch along Alec’s skin provoking panic. Alec looked at Magnus and how his own hand was supporting the moroi’s head, he looked drained and Alec’s heart ached with hatred for spirit and everything that led to this situation.

‘’Magnus look at me, hey can you hear me?’’ Alec nudged Magnus gently trying to make the moroi more aware. Alec took a deep breath and inched his wrist towards the moroi’s mouth.

‘’Magnus you have to feed off me.’’ Alec did not sound worried, he sounded sure and confident however Magnus’s attention snapped into focus at Alec’s words. He pushed Alec’s wrist away.

‘’No, Alexander don’t.’’ Magnus’ voice cracked and Alec felt even more assured of his actions.

‘’Magnus please, feed. It’s okay, I’m okay.’’ Magnus shook his head in protest.

‘’I need you to be okay.’’ Alec added on, he felt his cheeks flush but he didn’t care. It was true, he needed Magnus to be okay now, just like he needed Magnus to be okay when Alec lost sight of him at the ball.

Magnus looked taken aback but in the end he closed his hand over Alec’s and Alec let the moroi lead his wrist to his mouth. Magnus’ fangs revealed themselves from behind his lips and then slowly as if all time has slowed he let them sink into Alec’s flesh. Magnus closed his mouth around Alec’s wrist and Alec supressed a moan that begged to be released. A moroi’s bite was one of the best highs anyone could receive, that’s why so many human were willing to volunteer as feeders. The toxins in their saliva was like ecstasy, it was one of the best feelings ever, like a never ending bliss that left you dazed and submerged into a world of ease and peace. It was a powerful bite for humans and dhampirs alike.

Alec looked at Magnus, even through his daze he could see how gentle Magnus was, how careful he was to not hurt Alec. It didn’t even look like he was biting him but more like he was placing a kiss on the inside of his wrist. Magnus detached his lips from Alec’s skin and hid his fangs, Alec almost whimpered at the sudden loss of warmth. A vampire’s bite was addictive, just one dose could send you to look for more and more and more.

Magnus looked at Alec with immense concern. Alec smiled at Magnus and retrieved his hand. He felt dizzy, as if he was floating but it was wearing off. Just now did he notice their position. Magnus was leaning against the couch and Alec kneeling in front of him with his hand drooped over Magnus’s thing, he pulled away shyly and faced away to cover his burning face, he was embarrassed by the proximity but he did not regret what he did. He looked over at Magnus and the man didn’t seem so bleak anymore, he had more colour to his face and his eyes were focused, he was staring at Alec. Alec did not know the thoughts running through Magnus’ head, he just hoped Magnus didn’t think any lesser of him.

Dhampirs are not supposed to give blood to moroi, it’s frowned upon. One of the worst things that a dhampir could do and bring disgrace to their name is let a moroi feed off them, and many did do that especially during sex, it’s said to be the best feeling ever but it was also the dirtiest and shameful act in the society. Dhampirs who let moroi feed of them are called blood-whores, the term is usually associated with dhampir women who have denied their guardian lives and decided to either raise their children or join communes where moroi men would visit and use them for sex. It was a disdainful act for a dhampir to give blood like that, there are of course men who are blood-whores but not that many, it’s even more frowned upon since dhampir men are expected to become guardians and nothing else.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus and Alec knew they could not tell anyone of this, it would not make the best story and it could be a risk to Alec’s career, it’d be better if it was kept secret. The fact that Alec risked that and did all that for Magnus, left Magnus in a state of shock and appreciation. Magnus wondered if he’ll ever stop being surprised by Alec’s actions, he could not believe that Alec let Magnus feed off of him. _I need you to be okay_. Magnus smiled at Alec, who looked out of place as his eyes darted from Magnus to the sides, to the floor and the ceiling. Magnus resisted the urge to laugh as a surge of affection cursed through him.

‘’You should eat something, the bite could be-‘’ Magnus started.

‘’Yeah I know, I’ll be right back.’’ Alec left for the kitchen. Magnus sunk back into the couch. He still felt exhausted but no longer like he was on the brink of passing out. He closed his eyes letting himself be calmed by sound of Alec’s footsteps marching about in the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

 

After ten minutes Alec returned to the living room to find Magnus asleep on the couch. He knew he should probably wake him up and tell him to go to his room but he did not want to disturb him, not when after all this time he finally managed to look like he’s finally achieved some scope of peace. Alec went back to his room to retrieve blankets and pillows. He covered Magnus up trying really hard not to wake him. Alec took patrol around the house to make sure everything is secure and in place, he’d get the information he needed from Izzy tomorrow.

After his patrol, Alec made his way back to the living room and seated himself on a nearby couch. He looked over at Magnus who was sleeping sprawled over the couch like a cat, Alec rubbed over the bandage on his wrist, if someone would have told him that this is where he’d be two months ago he would have tossed them in the air but somehow it doesn’t seem that strange. He no longer felt dizzy which was good, a bit of food helped get back some of the energy and right him on his feet, he cannot afford to lose his tact around Magnus.

Alec woke up to whimpers emitting from the opposite side of the room. He sat up, ready to face whatever the threat is but there was none. Just Magnus tossing and turning, tangled in his blankets.

‘’Alexander.’’ Magnus called out and Alec crossed the room to him to ask what’s wrong only to find out that Magnus was still asleep.

‘’Alexander, no, no.’’ He repeated. He was calling out for Alec in his sleep.

‘’Magnus.’’ Alec said not sure what he would say if Magnus woke up. Magnus’ body sacked and stopped moving. Alec heaved a sigh, after a few seconds he returned to his spot. The rest of the night was peaceful as the two men slept.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Magnus woke up with a slight ache at the back of his skull and his legs tangled in a blanket. He fell asleep on the couch, Magnus groaned as he got up. He rubbed his eyes, groaning in disgust at the remnants of eyeshadow etching his fingers. He was disgusting and he did not even want to touch his hair because he would most certainly get a heart attack.

His eyes roamed the living room and he spotted another set of pillows and blankets strewn on the opposite couch. Magnus smiled realising that Alec slept in the same room, the events of last night came rushing back and Magnus had to recall all the details to make sure it wasn’t some messed up dream. It wasn’t. When did his life get so exciting? He wondered as he made his way towards the kitchen.

As he emerged into the kitchen he was met by the smell of coffee invading his nostrils and making his cells burst with happiness, and whichever of them did not burst then they definitely did after seeing Alec seated on one of the stools behind a table, looking like an angel desceding from high above

‘’Morning.’’ He yawned as he pushed a cup of coffee towards Magnus. Magnus glanced at the bandage on Alec’s wrist and received a pleasing shock wavering through his body, he did not want to feed on Alec but the fact that Alec offered made Magnus feel a certain appreciation for his dhampir guardian.

‘’Good morning.’’ Magnus chirped sipping on his coffee. It was perfect, just how he liked it.

‘’You seem exceptionally happy.’’ Alec observed peering over his tablet. Probably researching into the last night’s attack that Magnus did not want to think about just yet.

‘’I am.’’ Magnus admitted, and he did. For some reason unknown he did, last night was awful in the long run but having Alec by his side made it good.

‘’There’s a lot we need to talk about.’’ Alec stated as he placed his tablet down and looked Magnus in the eye. Magnus knew what the conversation will include.

‘’The healing, the compulsion, the hospital incident, it’s all linked to spirit. Isn’t it?’’ Alec began hesitantly. Magnus inhaled sharply, he could not find the words, he didn’t know if he was ready, instead he just nodded.

‘’Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t trust me.’’ Alec looked down disappointed and Magnus wanted to reach out to him.

‘’I do trust you Alexander.’’ Magnus affirmed. Alec perked up at that and his face lit up with relief.

‘’Good, then you'll tell me when you’re ready.’’ Alec stated simply and Magnus was ready to fall out of his chair, with relief, happiness or shock, he didn’t know. All he knew was that he was going to keep this guardian around for a little bit longer.


	5. If yellow is anything to go by

It was just two days ago that Alec let Magnus feed off of him, two days since Alec figured out that Magnus is a spirit user and two days that Magnus has spent avoiding all talk about spirit. Alec couldn’t understand what Magnus was so afraid of? He has assured Magnus multiple times that he will not be going anywhere no matter what Magnus tells him, and yet the moroi continues to be stubborn, telling Alec that it’s not big of a deal. But it is, it is a big deal because it is due to spirit that Alec almost lost Magnus, it’s because of spirit that Magnus surrounds himself with bottles of alcohol, it’s because of spirit that Alec carries a continuous tugging sensation in his stomach whenever Magnus says something or does something that is just a centimetre away from normal.

‘’Magnus, concentrate please.’’ Alec cries in frustration for the hundredth time trying to get the older moroi to focus and pay attention. Alec has made it his priority to teach Magnus some basic self-defence moves, and it would be easy and quite fun if only Magnus cooperated and quit trying to escape whenever Alec turned his back.

‘’I am trying believe me, it’s just that I can’t help getting distracted by those beautiful arms of your and don’t even get me started on that fine piece of-‘’

‘’Magnus!’’ Alec exclaimed in horror as Magnus threw his head back laughing at the aghast expression on Alec’s face.

‘’C-can you just please for once at least pretend that you care what I’m trying to teach you here.’’ Alec grunted, wishing for his face to rid itself of the red shade he knew was making his face heat up. Alec did not want to know the end of that sentence, nope, he was not even a little bit curious as to what Magnus thought of Alec.

Magnus crossed his arms over his chest as he seated himself on the floor, stretching his legs out as he leaned against the side of the couch, with a still very present smirk torturing Alec with humiliation and something else Alec will not admit to.

‘’Very well then, go on, you were saying?’’ Magnus sighed, checking his nails and twirling a glass of wine in another hand. The only thing that Magnus revealed to Alec about spirit was that alcohol helped to ease the darkness, and so Alec allowed Magnus to keep drinking as long as he took care of the amount of alcohol he was consuming.

‘’So as I was saying, if your opponent is much bigger than you then you will need to think about-‘’ Alec began but stopped mid sentences as Magnus projected a loud groan while closing his eyes as if in pain.

‘’Blah, blah, blah can we get to the physical stuff already?’’ Alec was just explaining the theory first, or at least he was trying to.

‘’All in good time.’’ Alec offered trying to reason with him. Magnus sulked-disappointed that Alec did not catch on to his innuendo- which confused Alec since he thought Magnus was less interested in the physical fighting than in the theory of it all.

‘’So as I was saying-‘’ Alec began but Magnus ejected a long yawn, that was much louder than necessary and once Alec stopped talking he perked up, steadying Alec with a sly gaze.

‘’What about a demonstration huh? We could have a go one on one?’’ Magnus winked at Alec, who froze for a second before realizing what Magnus was getting at until his face was back to glowing red. Magnus laughed once again at Alec’s late realization.

Alec glared at Magnus holding himself back from tackling the man down and forcing him to pay attention, but then again he might enjoy that, Alec thought and immediately slapped himself mentally. Alec ran his hands through his hair willing himself not to snap at Magnus, who sat quietly laughing to himself.

‘’Magnus do you not understand what I’m trying to do here?’’ Alec asked exasperated. Magnus rolled his eyes in response and continued sipping on his drink.

‘’The night of the Silent Ball when you just disappeared, I had no idea where you were. I thought at first that maybe you suffered what you did the night I took to the hospital and there was no one to help you, and then Izzy told me there was an attack near the Ball and I was forced to think that maybe someone kidnapped you, maybe I was already too late to save you…’’ Alec tried to explain putting as much calm and steadiness into his voice, willing himself not to stutter in fear of revealing how truly terrified he was during that night. Magnus looked at him with fear mixed with guilt and regret and something else, something kind and sincere that Alec could not decipher.

‘’I did not know what has happened to you Magnus, I could not find you anywhere...so I need you to know how to protect yourself in some way or form if something like that ever happened again.’’ Alec concluded as he looked away, too scared Magnus will see just how much he needed Magnus to able to protect himself in any way in case Alec was never there. It’s not a case Alec wants to consider, but having Magnus trained and informed of anything that could help him in any situation would help Alec sleep better at nights.

‘’Okay.’’ Magnus whispered, his voice strained. Alec looked up at him, and felt relief spread through his chest because Magnus was honest with that one word, Alec could see understanding flood Magnus’ features and for once, he felt like he could count on an actual lesson.

 

* * *

 

 

Magnus could not help but feel guilty when hearing Alec’s words, it was true, Alec had no way of knowing what was happening to Magnus and Magnus hated to have put Alec in that position, in a position where he felt helpless and completely at a loss of what to do. _I need you to be okay_ , Magnus could hear Alec’s voice whispering to him like that night two days ago. He has to try, besides it wouldn’t hurt to know how to throw someone over your shoulder without dislocating your arm and flirting shamelessly with Alec would not get him there.

‘’Okay.’’ He whispered, hating how his voice sounded off. He could see the relief springing to Alec’s eyes, he smiled encouragingly but only because if the roles were reversed Magnus would do everything he can to make sure Alec was safe.

So they spent another half an hour talking theory, and Magnus tried really hard to pay attention and he even asked question to which Alec glared at him, because apparently the answers were obvious or he has already answered those questions but it was clear on Alec’s face that he was glad that Magnus was participating.

They spent another half an hour watching as Alec would demonstrate some basic stance moves and this time Magnus was trying really, really hard to actually pay attention because he wasn’t lying when he said that Alec had a body to be admired, and who could blame him for slipping up at times with Alec continuously flexing his muscles and displaying all his gorgeousness right in front Magnus’ face. Magnus was almost sure he was doing it on purpose, he had to.

‘’Magnus, attention, please c’mon.’’ Alec snapped for the tenth time and Magnus smiled up at him innocently.

‘’Yes, yes Alexander, I understand completely.’’ Magnus offered nodding along even though he had no idea what just Alec said. Alec rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose trying to muster up patience.

‘’I said would you like to try doing it yourself.’’ Alec said and Magnus guessed it wasn’t the first time he had to say that. Moroi did not have to train how to fight, they didn’t even need to know the theory of self-defence because they had always believed that they would have their dhampir guardians to protect them, however many moroi disagreed with them. Some wanted to learn how to fight and help dhampir guardians with their job, the majority of the moroi thought this was ridiculous but even the Queen Vasilisa Dragomir has agreed that moroi should learn to fend for themselves, that’s why some dhampir guardian help their moroi to train and there are even classes in the courts to help moroi learn to use their powers as weapons against the strigoi. Magnus doubted he could do much with spirit, he’d end up exhausting himself to death beating his opponent to killing him first. But when Alec Lightwood, the very tall and handsome guardian offered Magnus to get up close and personal, or at least that’s what he hoped it would be like, he shot right up starling Alec, who had to take a step back.

‘’Sure, if you insist.’’ Magnus proclaimed clapping his hand. Alec inspected him with suspicion and decided to just go with it. Unfortunately they did not get up close and personal, except for the few time that Alec would reach out to Magnus and adjust the position of his legs or arms, he gave up when he realized that Magnus was failing some things on purpose just so Alec would reach out to correct him.

After an hour of bantering and at least half a dozen eye rolls, they called it a day. Magnus flopped himself on the bed letting out an over dramatic sigh and let his eyes close.

‘’I’m exhausted.’’ He exclaimed. Alec chuckled as he seated himself on the end of the couch. The soft noise that Magnus so rarely hears escape the young dhampir made him open his eyes and peek over to make sure that Alec was actually laughing. Magnus felt like saying ‘do it again’ but decided against it, because that would be just weird.

He looked at Alec, who was lazily rubbing his temples with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. His hazel eyes travelled to Magnus’ and his smile fell as he sensed the intense gaze that Magnus was pressing upon him. Magnus sometimes wondered if Alec was sculpted by the angels themselves, his dark black hair which was always a mess complemented his pale skin tone in such a mesmerizing way that Magnus sometime found himself at a loss for words, his hazel eyes were round and big always running over every inch of the room, always searching for something out of place, something about the way Alec noticed every detail made Magnus feel very self-conscious as if Alec could see inside his head and read his mind, sometimes those eyes would shine, would glimmer whenever he mentioned one of his siblings, something about the warmth and the fond way in which Alec’s eyes glowed made Magnus wish it were the same whenever he looked at Magnus.

Magnus tore his gaze away, lifting himself up from his position. He stretched and yawned trying to rid himself of mixed emotion he did not feel brave enough to explore. He looked at Alec who was gazing up at him from underneath his long dark eyelashes, momentarily he forgot what he was going to say and cursed the angels for the unfair beauty they placed on this man.

‘’I am going to take a shower, or a bath so don’t mind me if I don’t appear for at least four hours.’’ Magnus explained playing with the necklaces crowding his chest. Alec looked at Magnus hesitantly, he thought he saw a flash of panic waver through but that wouldn’t make any sense. Alec just nodded his head, still inspecting Magnus as if he didn’t believe him.

‘’Care to join?’’ Magnus winked, hoping to dispel the weird atmosphere. It worked as Magnus felt the impeccable amusement surge through him as he once again got to witness the creeping blush surfacing on Alec’s face. Magnus laughed, he couldn’t help it, it was just too adorable.

‘’Maybe some other time.’’ Alec replied and quickly disappeared out of the living room.

Wait what? Magnus stood speechless with his mouth agape in the middle of the furniture deserted area. He was stunned into silence as he watched Alec slip into the kitchen. Magnus looked from side to side, as if the furniture will speak up and just confirm that Alec Lightwood did just indeed say what Magnus couldn’t believe his annoying, shy and grumpy guardian just said.

He shook his head and went up to his room to take a bath, definitely not imaging a certain someone joining him. Damn.

 

* * *

 

 

Did he really just say that? Did he really just told Magnus Bane that he will join him in his bath some other time? To say Alec was mortified would be an understatement, he blames Magnus for this, he shouldn’t have flirted with Alec and he shouldn’t have looked at Alec the way he did as if Alec just gifted him the world or the entire solar system.

‘’Damn you Bane.’’ Alec grumbled as he opted for washing the cleaning the kitchen as a distraction from thinking about Magnus in a bath with Alec there, he was not thinking about that, not a chance, he tried to convince himself that as he continued wiping the table, that did not need any cleaning. The whole kitchen didn’t need any cleaning at all.

It was almost two hours later, and Alec was going through numerous documents that Izzy has sent him. Some of them contained information about new human and moroi bodies that turned up dead, drained of blood with no clear leads or clues as to who could have done it. He checked the files on the attack that happened during the night of the Silent Ball. A group of strigoi attacked a house with a moroi family inside, five moroi adults and three moroi children as well as their two dhampir guardians dead, murdered in cold blood.

It happened during the night, the only time strigoi could walk around freely. Usually every moroi house would be warded against strigoi, moroi magic of the four elements would be used to put up wards to prevent strigoi from entering the premises. A stake that guardians use to kill strigoi can be used to dismantle the words, however only a human, a dhampir and a moroi could touch the stake. Strigoi burn at the touch of the silver stake as they are too infused with the magic of the four elements, and since neither dhampirs nor moroi would ever help a strigoi it means that a human was used to eliminate the wards using a stake which allowed the strigoi to enter the house and kill all the people inside.

It made Alec sick, knowing that just twenty miles away from him someone was being brutally murdered and he could do nothing about it...again.

He put the tablet away as Magnus entered the kitchen wearing free new clothes. Alec looked away embarrassed over his comment earlier on. Magnus peered up at him smiling at him as if mocking him and Alec wanted to bang his head against the wall.

‘’So what have you been up to? I missed you, the water started getting cold and I just couldn’t wait anymore.’’ Magnus pouted and Alec could swear to every living being in the world that you could first not find a face in the world more red than Alec’s, second he could practically hear his jaw drop to the floor and third he was ready to stake himself right there and then.

‘’W-wh-what?’’ Alec spluttered and Magnus choked on laughter as he pretended to wipe some tears away from his eyes. Alec wanted to die, yes like right now please, he thought as utter humiliation poked him in very corner of his brain.

‘’Oh Alexander.’’ Magnus laughed as he moved to fill his cup with coffee. Alec did not want to dwell on just how good Magnus looked right now, or how pure he looked without make up adorning his eyes, he did not, he told himself as he looked away, letting his humiliation simmer down.

‘’So did you find out anything about the attack yesterday?’’ Magnus asked with a serious tone, almost anxious as if he was awaiting to discover something especially terrible. Alec looked at him, noticing how he fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist, a nervous habit. Why would Magnus be nervous? What was he waiting to hear? Alec’s speculations made him forget about the embarrassing ordeal as he continued to study Magnus.

‘’Alec, the attack?’’ Magnus asked Alec urgently and just like that Alec knew something was definitely wrong and Magnus picked up on that because soon he leaned back regaining that careless attitude that he so often displayed.

‘’Yes, a moroi family was killed by at least five strigoi inside the confines of their homes, they suspect human involvement since the wards were taken down.’’ Alec explained trying to lose that same tugging sensation that was twisting his guts in anxiety, the sudden change in Magnus’ mood was not taken with ease, he was trying not to show it.

‘’Any connections to Camille Belcourt or the Hell Hound?’’ Magnus inquired reluctantly. Alec did not miss the tone of agitation that feel behind when he spoke the two names. He picked up his tablet and pulled up the files to show to Magnus, there shouldn’t be any harm in showing him the information Izzy sent him, maybe it’ll provide him some reassurance.

‘’No leads have been made so far, it’s unlikely as well, however strigoi don’t act in groups so it’s definitely being carried out with caution, don’t worry.’’ Alec tried to sound comforting, cautious as if not to scare an animal in shock. Magnus’ shoulders sagged in what seemed like relief, he gave Alec back the tablet with renewed enthusiasm.

‘’Magnus are you okay?’’ He asked carefully, Magnus looked up at him as if confused by his question.

‘’You’re acting strange.’’ Alec offered, showing Magnus that he is not fooling anyone. Magnus just shook his head and smiled.

‘’I’m fine Alexander, it’s just a terrible thing that happened that’s all.’’ He replied, turning to the sink to put the coffee cup away which was full of coffee. Alec got up from his seat, going around the table to stand next to Magnus. He reached out to place his hand on the man’s shoulder, startled by the touch or Alec’s appearance-Alec wasn’t sure- Magnus dropped the cup from his hands. In a slow attempt to catch it the cup crashed cutting Alec’s hand.

‘’Agh..’’ Alec hissed, as he bent down next to the cup with spilled coffee on the floor.

‘’Alexander I’m sorry, here let me help.’’ Magnus rushed as he retrieved a cloth and a shovel with a broom and started cleaning the mess. Alec helped picking up the big pieces up from the floor.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ Magnus mumbled, disposing of the drenched cloth and the smaller shards of glass.

‘’It’s not your fault…Magnus tell me what’s wrong?’’ Alec asked gently. Magnus’ eyes darted from side to side until they landed on a cut on Alec’s hand. He reached out pulling Alec’s hand towards him. Realizing what Magnus was about to do, he pulled away immediately. A flash of hurt and fear passed Magnus’ features and Alec instantly felt guilty.

‘’You’re afraid?’’ Magnus asked weakly, looking down at his hands as if judging them.

‘’No, I’m not.’’ Alec reassured Magnus, of course not, how could Magnus even think that? What he can do is amazing but…

‘’Just don’t waste your energy on me, it’s not worth it.’’ Alec explained, seeking for Magnus to understand that he didn’t mean anything unkind by pulling away, he simply didn’t want Magnus to suffer more because of one stupid cut. Magnus smiled shaking his head.

‘’You’re worth it all Alexander.’’ He said with a sigh as he reached out for Alec’s hand, covering the cut gently with his palm. Alec felt his skin tingling, and a warm lulling feeling seep into his skin as Magnus’ healing magic sealed the cut on his hand.

‘’Oh, uh-umh thank you.’’ Alec murmured as he inspected the clean patch of skin where the cut was just a few seconds ago. Magnus laughed at Alec’s bewildered expression.

‘’It’s just a cut Alexander, it doesn’t require much magic no need to worry.’’ Magnus smiled, slowly releasing Alec’s hand from his grasp.

‘’Right.’’ Alec’s eyebrows furrowed, he didn’t want Magnus to use his magic on him, he could heal faster than a normal human being and Magnus should not put himself at risk no matter how little magic he was using. Alec was curious though, he wanted to know more.

‘’What else can you do?’’ He blurted out before he could stop himself.

 

* * *

 

 

‘’What else can you do?’’ Magnus’ eyebrows shot up, he did not expect Alec to just ask him like that and judging by Alec’s stunned expression he didn’t plan on asking either.

‘’Sorry, you don’t have to tell me.’’ Alec explained, light red tinting his cheeks. Magnus’ heart clenched, He wanted to, oh how he wanted to tell Alec everything.

‘’No I do, I can’t keep avoiding the subject.’’ Magnus laughed, letting Alec know that he was purposely avoiding talking about spirit even though he knew Alec noticed, just didn’t want to pressure Magnus into telling him what he didn’t want to.

‘’You don’t have to.’’ Alec spoke up, and Magnus knew that if he said he didn’t want to talk, Alec would understand and would not make him, not until he was ready and for that he appreciated his guardian just a little bit more than before.

‘’No, I want to.’’ Magnus stated. He took a seat on one of the stools near the table, lacing his fingers in and out. Alec sat in front of him, occupying the dark black stool that Magnus now realized didn’t match the table at all, he’d have to think about re-designing. Stop. Magnus shouldn’t be afraid, Alec told him times before that he would not leave.

‘’You asked what I can do and well just like Lisa who is also a spirit user, I have healing abilities that are almost as strong as hers but not quite.’’ He started of slowly, breathing in and out. He dared to look up at Alec, who just kept a steady gaze on Magnus, without any judgement or fear just innocent curiosity tinged with intrigue. So Magnus continued.

‘’Also my ability to use compulsion is much stronger than for a normal moroi, I never use it much though, except maybe a few times in the past to get out of trouble.’’ Magnus said sheepishly and Alec smiled in an ‘of course you would’ knowing smile. That one smile, one lift of the lips was enough to boost Magnus’ confidence.

‘’There is also the ability to see auras, it’s like a field of colours surrounding a person with different layers of different colours for particular emotions. It's one of the tools that spirit users can use to recognise other spirit users, our auras have a big layer of gold that identify us as spirit users and the usual flecks of dark spots that portray the inevitable darkness that is permanently tied to spirit.’’ Magnus smiled sadly. Alec looked at him with such kindness and such belief and complete trust that it was simply overwhelming and Magnus had to look away.

‘’I don’t usually allow myself to use more than one ability at the same time, only if I’m on spirit overload, it’s what I like to call it when I can no longer control it and it just acts on its own as if it has its own body.’’ Magnus heaved a sigh. He has accepted that that is ow spirit is, always seeking to torment him, but there’s no way to escape that magic. It’s so warm and blissful and using spirit is just the most joyous thing you can experience, you can’t help but want to heal every scratch and cut that decorates the skin of people, you can’t resist seeing the phenomena of human emotions displayed in vibrant colours exploding from people, you can’t help but want to help, to feel to use. It’s too attractive, too addictive but it’s also a part of you that you can’t let go because without it you’d be more miserable than you are with it. And he told as much to Alec, as they sat there in the dim lights of the kitchen talking about these things that Magnus can’t and doesn’t want to resist.

‘’One of the coolest powers I think is dream walking.’’ Magnus exclaimed, feeling more confident with himself and Alec.

‘’Dream walking?’’ Alec asked unsure.

‘’Yes, it’s the ability to be able to walk in someone else’s dreams. It only works when the two people are asleep, I can enter your dream and alter it to yours or mine preference. We’d be able to talk and it could be as real as if it's not an actual dream.’’ Magnus explained.

‘’That’s amazing, dangerous.’’ Alec said thoughtfully.

‘’Dangerous?’’ Magnus asked indignantly.

‘’Well yes, have you met yourself? Any dream with Magnus Bane would be a nightmare.’’ Alec explained with all seriousness. Magnus laughed, and Alec joined. It was good, it felt good, but it was short-lived. Alec’s expression turned to one of unease.

‘’Magnus…’’ He began and Magnus prepared himself for whatever Alec was about to say, refusing to allow the cold in his stomach disturb him or lose his faith in Alec.

‘’Thank you for telling me, for trusting me I mean.’’ Alec said with contempt as he stared into Magnus’ eyes who could not open his mouth due to relief that paralyzed him stiff.

‘’Whatever happens and no matter how crazy things get, don’t push me away. You don’t have to be in this alone, okay?’’ Alec looked at Magnus, his eyes warm and shining with delicate fondness and care.

It was that moment that he knew. And that numbing feeling that teared at his heart and bounced between his ribcage was finally relieved off the heavy weight of doubt and fear, the realization of what has been gnawing at him hit him harder than the high of his magic and so he allowed himself a slip, just a glance at Alec’s aura.

He watched as the striking bright yellow danced at the edges of Alec’s form, with a few layers of orange and blue and dark green showing his concern, anxiety and confusion, but it was the yellow…the same yellow Magnus knew he’d see on himself whenever he would look at Alec.

So Magnus smiled and nodded, he knew Alec would not leave Magnus, and maybe Alec himself doesn’t know the full extent of his emotions and why they’re present but it doesn’t matter yet because Magnus was sure that once the dark green melted away Alec would come to the same realization that Magnus did, if yellow was anything to go by.


	6. Not To Plan

The last couple of days have gone by with a constant hum of serene comfort, of course there have been plenty of arguments stemmed from both sides, none which were short of inventive curses mainly from Magnus’ side and records of eye rolls being broken by Alec.

Other than their usual banter, everything was great between the two men. They’ve settled into a comfortable routine where Alec wakes up first and patrols the residence, then he’d catch up on the latest guardian news with Magnus joining him later on, and since Alec insisted that Magnus should continue with some sort of training, they’d spend an hour talking or arguing, but mostly just arguing. Magnus has managed to convince Alec that they should go out in the evenings- mornings for humans- and even though Alec seemed hesitant at first they’ve made some of the local restaurants and cafes their usual dinner places.

It’s been a month and a half since Alec left the academy and started living with Magnus. It was hard at first but it was nothing Alec wasn’t trained to adapt to, even if he had to adapt to an extremely annoying yet gorgeous spirit user who was in danger of going completely insane because of a rare magic he possessed.

Alec was taking one of his morning patrols around the house, checking if everything is as it should be, if the wards are stable and no one is lurking behind the corners when his phone rang with the familiar ringtone of his sister, Alec smiled as he pulled the phone up to his ear.

‘’Hey Izzy.’’ He greeted her, he promised he’d call every day or else he’d be faced with severe punishment which in Izzy’s case meant ignoring Alec for a week and breaking jus after two days.

‘’Hey big bro, how’s Mr. HotStuff?’’ Izzy laughed on the other line, every day he would call and every day he would talk but mostly complain about Magnus.

He wanted to tell his sister about Magnus being a spirit user, but it was not his secret to tell so he kept quiet, subtly asking Izzy how should one help one out if the other if feeling down, of course Alec meant the darkness slowly cutting at Magnus’ mind but since Izzy did not know about that she assumed that Alec was over board infatuated with his moroi.

‘’I wish you would stop calling him that, and he’s fine.’’ Alec replied yawing as he kicked the stones littering the sidewalk.

‘’Is he? He hasn’t said anything to you at all?’’ Alec stopped, not knowing whether the chill running down his spine is a cause of the cold weather or the fact that his sister might know about Magnus’ magic.

‘’What do you mean Iz?’’ He asked anxiously, he didn’t want to lie to his sister but he also didn’t want to speak for Magnus, when it wasn’t his place to reveal anything.

‘’Alec, I think you should ask Magnus about Camille Belcourt.’’ Izzy spoke gingerly. Alec almost laughed in relief but then again why would Magnus know anything about Camille Belcourt?

‘’Why? What has Magnus have anything to do with her?’’ He asked wincing at how defensive he came off. Izzy sighed on the other end of the phone, he could hear the soft clicking of her heels and knew she was pacing.

‘’Iz tell me what’s wrong, if it’s anything that concerns Magnus and that strigoi I should about it.’’ Alec demanded, hating to have to talk to his sister that way, but it’s Magnus they were talking about.

‘’Alright well I was checking into the attacks on the humans and the moroi recently with Simon.’’ She began hesitantly, Simon was another dhampir in the same year as Isabelle, he was totally obsessed with her and she was too in all honesty but nothing will get her to admit to it and especially not to poor Simon.

‘’Go on…’’ Alec urged her.

‘’And well we landed on Camille’s profile, just checking some stuff and we discovered that she has quite the history with Magnus.’’ She spoke softly as if she was scared of hurting Alec.

‘’What history?’’ Alec questioned giving up on keeping the anxiety and slowly simmering anger away from him.

‘’Magnus and Camille were lovers Alec.’’ She finished, and Alec didn’t know what to do, he just stood in place as anger, betrayal, hurt, jealousy and anxiety all came to numb his body still.

‘’Alec?’’ Isabelle whispered in question. Alec closed his eyes taking a deep breath.

''Thank you for telling me Iz, I’ll see what I can find out.’’ And just like that he hung up and marched inside the house.

It all made sense, the discomfort and disdain that Magnus wore whenever Camille was mentioned was because he knew her… knew her while she was strigoi. It was both a disturbing and fear inducing idea to think of. Alec pounded his fist on Magnus’ bedroom door. He shouldn’t be so worked up about this, but he wanted to know from Magnus before he started making up crazy theories that will only pull him deeper into paranoia.

The door sprang open revealing a sleepy Magnus rubbing at his eyes with a pout. He smiled at the sight of Alec, but it soon melted away when he saw the expression on Alec’s face.

‘’Alexander is everything okay?’’ He asked, his voice slow and deep having just woke up. Alec ignored the fact that Magnus was wearing only a loosely tied rope revealing most of his naked chest.

‘’We need to talk.’’ Alec stated and turned around to walk out of the doorway. Magnus followed him, tying the belt around his waist tighter.

‘’Is everything okay?’’ Magnus repeated as they headed down the stairs. Alec turned to Magnus, and suddenly he felt very tired, he didn’t want to lose this peace that they’ve acquired, he didn’t want to stress Magnus or be mad with him, but he needed to know.

‘’Why didn’t you tell me that you were involved with Camille Belcourt?’’ Alec rushed out. Magnus’ eyes went wider by just a fraction before settling with a misted glaze carrying some resemblance to guilt and regret.

‘’How did you find out?’’ He asked, walking over to the couch where just yesterday he and Magnus fell asleep on, with Magnus’ legs hung over Alec’s lap.

‘’I have my ways.’’ Alec responded curtly, he was not going to out his sister. Magnus scoffed.

‘’Keeping secrets are we Alexander?’’ Magnus said as he reached out for a bottle of wine decorating the side table.

‘’You’re one to talk.’’ Alec bit back. Magnus stilled for just a millisecond and then proceeded to fill up a glass.

‘’It’s true, we were lovers but that’s all, nothing more and it wasn’t a secret.’’ Magnus closed his eyes rubbing his free hand at his forehead.

‘’Then why didn’t I know about it, why isn’t it mentioned in your files?’’ Alec prompted, standing opposite Magnus.

‘’You’ll have to know that Camille is a deceiving, manipulating evil snake that is never up to anything good and Lisa being a dear friend that she is offered to keep that part of my life silent, not that I minded, in hopes to protect me against Camille’s associates and anyone who might hold a grudge against her.’’ Magnus explained waving his hands in the air as if it was obvious, and it did seem like it now to Alec.

‘’Why were you with her?’’ Alec blurted out before he could stop himself. Magnus gave a surprised choke before raising his eye brows in question.

‘’If she was as deceiving and manipulating and evil as you say, why were you with her? Was it because of the bites, you let her feed off you?’’ Alec knew just how wrong that sounded, he knew it could break all the bonds he built with Magnus, but he just couldn’t keep his mouth shut for reasons beyond him.

Suddenly Magnus was standing right in front of him, his drink abandoned on the table.

‘’What are you insinuating Alexander? That I’m a blood whore?’’ Magnus glared at him.

Blood whore was a filthy term usually applied to dhampirs, but some moroi were subjective to it as well. A strigoi bite was more powerful than a moroi bite, their saliva released much stronger toxins that gave a much effective high than that of a moroi, and it was easy to get addicted.

Alec shook his head, trying to get his mind into focus and not let his emotions become a distraction. He was jealous, and he didn’t want to be and he didn’t have the right to be, but for so long it has been just him and Magnus. He liked to think that they were getting closer, it was a shame that he was letting it all go to waste.

‘’Why else would you be with her? She’s a strigoi! She could have killed you!’’ He didn’t want to yell at Magnus, he wished he could have missed the flinch and the step that Magnus took, but it was too late.

‘’I thought I was in love.’’ Magnus whispered gently as if in an apology and Alec wished he could just stop, that he just quit yelling but he couldn’t.

‘’Strigoi can’t feel love, they are dead and emotionless. The only thing they want is blood and the only thing that brings them satisfaction is death and destruction.’’ Alec spat out.‘’You thought you were in love but you were deluding yourself.’’ He finished in a bark.

Magnus looked at him sadly as if saying ‘I know’. He was heaving by that point and Magnus was as still as a statue simply staring off into the distance. After a minute of silence Alec managed to gain some self-control and commit to his duty as a guardian.

‘’Do you know anything about the Hell Hound and his relations to Camille?’’ He asked. Magnus looked away refusing to look at Alec.

‘’Magnus.’’ Alec repeated, voice hardening and irritation pulling at his nerves.

‘’Lisa knows everything, she’s the Queen. I don’t have to tell you anything. The next thing you’ll be accusing me off is participating in those murders.’’ Magnus picked up his drink and glared at Alec as he downed it.

‘’I don’t know what to think right now Magnus, I don’t know what to believe.’’ Alec shook his head, willing the anger to just go away. He didn’t want this, he really didn’t but Magnus was making it so hard and Alec wasn’t helping the issue either. To his surprise Magnus laughed, Alec shook his head in bafflement.

‘’You’re always keeping secrets since the very start, how am I supposed to protect you, supposed to do anything when you continuously keep me in the dark?’’ Alec let out in a strain.

‘’The Hound Magnus, do you know anything about him?’’ Alec tried again. Magnus just continued to stare at him.

‘’Nothing.’’ He replied, his voice low and dangerous.

‘’I’m trying to do my job here, why must you make it so difficult?’’ Alec crossed his arms over his chest.

‘’Quit snooping around my private life and inventing new problems, then it’ll be easy.’’ Magnus suggested voice laced with venom as he carelessly filled his glass up again.

‘’I am your guardian, it is my job to know everything about you in order to protect you.’’ Alec felt like he was reciting an old text from a text book and he knew he was right thinking that it’ll only piss Magnus off more.

‘’You have no right to intervene in my private life, it is the only thing that I am in control of, the only thing I can choose to reveal or not and you have no right to force me to do it! If you’re finding it so hard to deal with I told you before Alec you don’t have to be my guardian you can leave!’’ Magnus almost screamed out the last part, anger raging in his eyes, causing his body to tremble in fury.

‘’Maybe I should!’’ Alec shot back without thinking.

Suddenly it was all very silent, very still, very bad. It was the one thing Alec promised not to do and here he was complying to it. Magnus looked down at the floor and turned back around heading up the stairs but not before breathing out behind his shoulder words Alec wish he didn’t have to hear.

‘’Maybe you should.’’ And just like that Magnus was gone.

Alec spent the rest of the day sulking in his room, wishing Isabelle had never called him, never told him anything. He wished he could take back all that he said, but he can’t and it was too late and now Magnus wants him gone. Alec doesn’t want to leave, he’d chain himself to the house if he had to. He threw himself on the bed burying his face in the pillow.

 

* * *

 

 

How did it get so bad? So out of control? Magnus asked himself as he paced around his room, rubbing his necklaces between his hands. Of course he doesn’t want Alec to leave, and he knows or hopes Alec doesn’t want to either but he had no right intruding on Magnus’ personal life, moments in his life he has spent years trying to forget. He would have told him, told him if he asked kindly, told him everything if it was a situation where they were lying in bed, their bodies tangled with one another as they remarked on the troubles of their past life and let the other know that they wouldn’t have to go through that ever again. He would have told Alec if he hadn’t implied all the things he did. It’s Magnus’ own personal life and… and Alec is a part of that life, he is and there is nothing Magnus could do about it.

Alec was true that Magnus was keeping secrets, he has a lot of secrets, secrets he wishes he could burry and build a whole city upon. He wants to go back to the playful banter and the boring conversations about guardian stuff, he doesn’t want to remember the way Alec’s soft hazel eyes flamed with rage, he didn’t want to hate Alec. He just wanted to go back, to start over but he couldn’t and so he let himself sink in his bed feeling the darkness and the chaotic storm of his emotions scratch at his mind and soul.

He doesn’t know how long he slept but he woke up to soft knocking on his door, he slumped out of his bed and achingly walked towards the door. He opened the door to reveal a dishevelled Alec looking at him, anxiety covering his features. At first he wanted to smile at the sight of his dear sweet guardian but the memories of earlier on caused him to glower in stubborn contempt.

‘’What is it?’’ He asked harshly and Alec winced, not that Magnus cared. To be honest Alec looked like crap, his hair a bigger mess than usual and his clothes more rumpled up than possible. He wondered if Alec looked the way Magnus felt.

‘’I need to go to the courts, my mother have requested a meeting with me and I have to be leaving tonight.’’ Alec breathed out heavily. Magnus looked him up and down, deciding.

‘’Fine, whatever, I’ll pack.’’ Magnus made to close the door but Alec’s reaching arm stopped him.

‘’No Magnus, it’s just me who’s going.’’ Alec looked at Magnus and Magnus just stared back. So he was leaving.

‘’Oh.’’ He let escape. Alec closed his eyes looking down, as if trying to wish a way an unwanted headache.

‘’It’s just for a few days, they’ll be sending temporary guardians to you while I’m away.’’ He explained carefully. Magnus felt hung over with all his emotions running wild, he just wanted to sleep through it all.

‘’I will be back.’’ Alec added on after receiving no response from Magnus. Magnus looked at him and he wished he could just take the young man in his arms and let himself get lost in his scent and compelling warmth that perpetually beckoned Magnus, but he was still mad, still sore in the heart after their fight.

‘’Very well then, have fun.’’ He supplied and slammed the door shut in Alec’s face.

Maybe he’ll just sleep throughout the whole time that Alec’s gone and proceed to ignore Alec after he’s back, even if that’s the last thing he wanted.

 

__

* * *

 

 

Alec didn't want to leave Magnus without settling their fight first, he didn't want to leave him knowing the state he was in. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to Magnus and he wasn't there for him, no one would understand, not the way he would. Alec hoped that their fight would not stop Magnus reaching out to him if he needed anything, anything at all, Alec would take whatever he could get from Magnus just to know that he's okay, that their fight did not diminish the connection that they've forged which Alec held so closely to his heart, like a promise tattooed on his heart saying that no matter what happened they would not abandon one another.

Alec heaved a sigh as he removed his sports bag containing a few necessities that he'll need for the three days that'll he'll be spending at the courts. His mother has requested him to attend to the missions dedicated to finding the strigoi responsible for the murders, really he shouldn't even be allowed but it was Maryse who wanted to get her son involved more within the guardian field to jumpstart his career in becoming a higher rank guardian like herself, ‘make the Lightwood name proud’ she'd say. It‘s early morning, therefore the end of the day for vampires.

“Alec!” A loud voice exclaimed behind him and suddenly two strong arms tackled him to the ground. Alec recognised the blond head belonging to his idiot of a brother Jace. He flipped him over and placed his arm in a lock pinning him to the ground.

“Jace” He laughed as a current of affection surged through him. Jace grumbled something indecipherable and slammed his palm against the ground three times. Alec laughed out loud as he let his brother go.

“Show off” Jace scoffed swiping dirt off of his jacket as he flipped his hair back. Alec’s heart clenched at the familiar habit of his brother, he missed his family.

Being a guardian was disowning your life and dedicating it to someone else, if Alec hadn't given his life to Magnus he’d feel regret and immense dejection at having to leave his siblings, but it is Magnus and it's comical that Alec feels almost blessed with luck to have him enter his life, his mood succumbed to unavoidable distress at the thought of Magnus.

‘‘You okay?‘‘ Jace questioned quirking his eyebrow. Alec shrugged his shoulder as if shaking off something irrelevant.

‘‘Yeah, is uh Izzy here too?‘‘ He quickly tried to change the subject. Jace eyed him warily and Alec hoped his brother would not notice the careful way in which he tried to act unbothered by the melancholy thoughts obscuring his mind.

‘‘Yeah, she‘s with mom waiting for us at the office‘‘ Jace said as he brushed past Alec.

Alec huffed out as he followed Jace into the confinements. Alec shifted his bag from his shoulder into a hand hold, trying to distract himself from the uncanny mood settling around him and Jace. Usually his brother would be nagging him about everything that‘s been happening in Alec‘s life but not this time and Alec tried really hard not to over think it. They both entered their mother‘s office in silence. Alec‘s face broke into a warm smile as he spotted Izzy sitting on Maryse‘ table which was absent of the woman herself. Izzy laughed cheerfully as she hopped down to greet her brother, they eneveloped each other in a tight hug as they held each other.

‘‘Hey big bro.‘‘ Alec smiled down at his little sister as she ruffled his hair.

‘‘Where‘s mom?‘‘ Jace asked sitting down on one of the chairs in fronrt of the table. Isabelle looked from Jace to Alec and Alec only shrugged his shoulders in response.

‘‘Right here.‘‘ A stiff voice spoke out behind them.

They turned around to be greeted by Maryse who looked as polished and strikingly vicious as always. She smiled at Alec as she patted his shoulder and walked to sit behind her desk.

‘‘Good you‘re all here. Now, this should only concern Alec so-‘‘ She began but was interrupted by Jace getting up and swiftly walking out the door slamming it shut behind him. Alec frowned after his brother and would have followed him if it wasn‘t for Maryse.

‘‘As I was saying...‘‘ She started once again eyeing the door as if it were of inconvenience.

‘‘Alec I will be needing you to attend a few meetigs between the guardians investigating the case of murders involving the moroi and humans, we have evidence to believe that Camille Belcourt and the infamous Hell Hound are responsible for these strings of attacks and I believe it‘ll be a great learning opportunity for you.‘‘ Maryse finished, smiling up at Alec.

Isabelle observed her mother suspiciously as if looking for a fault within her reasoning. Maryse maintained her easy attitude, waiting for her son‘s answer patiently.

‘‘If that’s what you want mother.’’ Alec responded simply. Maryse clapped her hands and stood up to stand before her children.

‘’Very well then, you’ll be attending the first meeting tomorrow at the ground office at eight o’clock sharp.’’ She explained as she slowly guided them towards the door. Alec and Isabelle left without another word.

‘’Strange.’’ Izzy muttered staring at the shut door. Alec looked at his sister, he was too exhausted to question her speculations so he started to head to his dormitories.

‘’No, no, brother, we have a lot of catching up to do.’’ She gave him a pointed stare.‘’And I want to know what’s going on between you and Jace.’’

‘’Izzy we call each other every day, there’s nothing about my life that you don’t know.’’ He reminded her matter of factly. ‘’And I have no idea what’s up with Jace. We’ll talk tomorrow after the meeting alright?’’ He looked at her pleadingly. She rolled her eyes clearly not happy but in the end she gave in.

‘’Fine, I want to see you as soon as the meeting is over. Now rest.’’ She waved him off with a small smile.

‘’Yes ma’am.’’ Alec hugged her and rushed to his room.

The moment he got to his room he crashed onto the bed not bothering with taking his shoes off. He picked up his phone and set up an alarm for the meeting, he considered texting Magnus to make sure he was okay, the guilt was eating at him. There was still a drop of anger churning inside him but it was faint and the hurt expression on Magnus’ face kept invading his mind turning his anger into deeper regret. Alec jumped off of his bed and headed to the bathroom…the cold shower did nothing to make his shame disappear. He settled in his bed hoping sleep will plunder all thoughts of Magnus, only it didn’t.

Throughout the night he turned and tossed and trashed as Magnus’ face hovered behind his eyelids before getting pulled into the dark abyss, only to return with a tortured expression of pain and resentment that was surely directed at Alec.

Alec woke up to the screeching of his phone, he sat upright to shut it off. There was nothing more he wanted than to fall back into bed and spend the rest of the days sleeping until it was time to go home, to Magnus. The thought of Magnus sent shivers down his spine. He remembered Magnus’ face floating before him, reaching for him and then pulling away as if scorched by fire, it was as if Magnus was there with him, in the tight closure of his mind sharing the space with him trying to talk before he was pulled away by some force, preventing him from talking to Alec.It was weird to say the least.

Alec rose from his rock hard bed, unlike the one in Magnus’ house, which was much softer with coverlets that was just so Magnus’ style. For the first few days that he’d spend with Magnus, he groaned at the style of his room but now he felt a soft tug at his ribs that couldn’t be mistaken for homesickness. It hasn’t even been two days since he’s been away from Magnus, _get a grip on yourself Lightwood_ he thought stubbornly.

He got dressed and once he got some morning breakfast from the cafeteria on the ground floor, he made his way to the office. He knocked on the door before entering, a man with a well-tailored suit looked up at him and smiled.

‘’Ah Mr. Lightwood, please take a seat we’ve been waiting for you.’’ The man greeted him excitedly and Alec eyed him with curiosity.

‘’My name is Victor Aldertree and I’m the leading head of this investigation, thank you so much for attending.’’ Alec nodded seating himself at the side of the table, other guardians did not spare him a glance. Victor Aldertree began the meeting right away.

‘’We got intel from a few reliable sources that Camille Belcourt is present here in the United States, we have no certain leads to determine her exact location but that’s still in progress.’’ Guardian Aldertree explained pulling up Camille’s profile on a large screen adorning the wall behind him.

‘’Any news about the Hound?’’ One of the guardians, Wryburn, Alec guessed spoke up from the front. Victor glanced at him before focusing on the rest of the room.

‘’No we have not, his location is still uncovered, it’s hard to track someone whose appearance is still unidentified.’’ Victor stated begrudgingly.

‘’Can we guess he’s with Camille Belcourt.’’ Another guardian spoke up, Rosales.

‘’We can guess, but we can’t be sure, that does nothing for us.’’ Wryburn replied.

‘’Guardian Lightwood? Anything to add?’’ Victor turned to him and Alec tried not to show his surprise, he simply thought he was here to listen not to contribute.

‘’No.’’ Alec answered stiffly. Victor looked amused if anything.

‘’Are you sure?’’ Victor tempted and Alec resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

‘’See we have discovered that Camille Belcourt has been involved in a romantic relationship with Magnus Bane, a moroi that you’re currently guarding.’’ Victor supplied victoriously.

Alec’s blood boiled and he could feel rage filling him up, not for Magnus and not even Camille, well maybe a little for Camille but mostly for Victor Aldertree and his mother. She did not want Alec to attend these meetings for learning experience but simply to be interrogated about Magnus and his personal life, he couldn’t believe her. Alec looked at Victor with a blank expression and gave him a steady stare, completely empty of all emotion, Victor’s smug smile vanished.

‘’I was not aware of their relationship when I was appointed to Mr. Bane, I only found out two days ago.’’ Alec said, his voice steady and composed. Victor looked at him intently.

‘’And how did you find out?’’ Victor questioned, folding his hands behind his back. This really was an interrogation.

‘’Rumours I’ve heard previously, thought it would be wise to ask Mr. Bane considering other rumours running around about Camille Belcourt’s involvement with the current murders.’’ Alec replied taking joy in seeing a flash of anger pass through Victor’s features who clearly wasn’t satisfied with the fact that the outside world knew about Camille Belcourt, someone who the guardians tried to keep a secret.

‘’That was certainly very dutiful of you guardian Lightwood.’’ Victor plastered on a fake smile, if others were aware of the dispute building up between the two men, they did not show it. Actually some were regarding Alec with genuine curiosity.

‘’Did you find out anything useful that could aid us in this investigation?’’ Victor asked taking a seat at the front of the table, not taking his eyes off of Alec.

‘’Magnus Bane knows nothing of Camille Belcourt’s and the Hound’s involvement in the murder cases. He did admit to having a past relationship with her but that’s what it is now, the past. Mr. Bane cut all connections to Camille Belcourt years ago and is unaware of her present activities.’’ Alec hoped no one noticed the defensive tone in which he spoke.

He wished he didn’t have to speak of Magnus without him being present here, it felt wrong especially after what happened between them, however it would be even more dangerous not to provide any information. He could not be found slacking, he couldn’t leave Magnus, no matter the state of their relationship. The guardians around him looked pleased and Victor Aldertree defeated. He nodded his head in conclusion, although Alec could sense the failure he felt in not finding any plot holes.

‘’Well then, there’s that then. Thank you guardian Lightwood for your cooperation.’’ Some guardians around Alec nodded their heads in his direction in approval and if Alec didn’t feel so angered by these people intruding on Magnus’ life even if it was their job, maybe he’d feel more pleased with himself.

The meeting lasted for one more hour discussing the victims, and any other possible sources and leads. Throughout the whole process Victor refused to acknowledge Alec’s presence and for that Alec was kind of glad or else he would have jumped across the table and flipped Victor out of the window.

After the meeting was done, he wanted nothing more than to just get out of this place but before he could Isabelle stopped him. She looked at her brother sympathetically, there was no way she knew what happened in the meeting room or between him and Magnus but she did know her brother.

‘’C’mon.’’ She looped her arm through his and led him to one of the training rooms they have dispositioned for guardians in the courts.

She went to the storage room and retrieved a bow, she handed it to him smiling encouragingly.

‘’Izzy, this is not a weapon for guardians, we use stakes.’’ Alec said staring at the object in his hands he hasn’t touched in years.

‘’Yes, but since we aren’t surrounded by strigoi there’s no need for a stake.’’ She stated crossing her arms over her chest. ‘’Remember when we were children and Jace and I would place apples over our heads for you to shoot?’’ She laughed affectionately recalling the memory.

Something in Alec’s gut loosened and he felt lighter. He smiled at his sister.

‘’Yeah I do, mom freaked out when she discovered us surrounded by bits of apples, screaming at us that just because we’ve seen something done in movies doesn’t mean we should replicate it.’’ Izzy laughed clapping her hands and Alec felt pride swell up in him, making his siblings happy was something that Alec could do for the rest of his life.

‘’That was the last time we did that.’’ Izzy giggled wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. She looked up at him with an evil smirk, she put her finger to her lips as she pulled out an apple from her duffel bag. Alec laughed at his sister.

‘’No way, not happening.’’ Alec stated walking backwards.

‘’C’mon, don’t be such a wuss.’’ Izzy protested as she jogged to the back of the room placing the apple on top of her head, standing still as a statue while mouthing ‘wuss’ at her brother. Alec rolled his eyes, fixing an arrow in his bow.

‘’You do realize that they only do this in movies?’’ He fixed her sister with an incredulous look to which she only rolled her eyes.

Alec drew back the arrow, letting his hand brush his cheek softly as his eyes focused on the target. He felt the vibrations of the arrow as it moved and the muscles in his arm relax after the arrow escaped him. He smiled when Isabelle squealed with joy as the arrow pierced through the apple carrying it further behind Isabelle before hitting a wall.

They laughed and soon a clap emitted from behind them. Turning around they spotted Jace entering the room, smiling.

‘’I see you’ve still got it.’’ Jace laughed in dry humour as he approached his siblings.

‘’Guess you haven’t abandoned some of your talents, unlike some other things.’’ There was hurt in his eyes as he looked at Alec.

‘’What are you talking about Jace?’’ Alec asked his brother as Izzy departed from them, giving them privacy to talk, like she knew this was coming.

‘’Nothing.’’ Jace shrugged looking away.

‘’I didn’t abandon you Jace.’’ Alec said, did Jace really think that?

‘’Sure you didn’t.’’ Jace responded snorting, but there was something sad about the way he said it.

‘’I call you every day.’’ Alec stated, moving to the side so his brother would look at him.

‘’You call Izzy, not me.’’ Jace said angrily, he turned around ready to walk but Alec got in his way pulling him back.

‘’I call you too, maybe not every day but I do. I did not abandon you Jace, you’re my brother, there’s not a day that I don’t think about you or Izzy.’’ Alec tried to explain himself desperately, he didn’t want Jace to think that Alec has abandoned him, that’s the last he’d do. Jace looked at him, as if deciding something, what it was, was unknown to Alec.

‘’I guess I know that, it’s just… when we saw you at the Silent Ball, you seemed changed like there was this feeling about you that I don’t know man.’’ Jace was struggling with his words, but he went on. ‘’ The way you acted around Magnus, I just never saw you like that. I feel like there’s something new about you and it unsettles me because I wasn’t there to see that change in you, it was Magnus instead.’’ He looked at Alec apologetically, Alec couldn’t understand why he would feel sorry for anything.

Alec didn’t notice any change in him but there was Magnus, and with Magnus came a lot of feelings that Alec didn’t know he possessed.

‘’We’ve spent all our lives together, and don’t get me wrong Alec, I’m proud of you, Izzy and I couldn’t be happier that you became a guardian, I guess I just didn’t expect the separation to hurt as much as it did and it made me angry with you. I shouldn’t be, you’re my brother no matter where you are, you’re my brother.’’ Jace finished placing his hand on Alec’s shoulder squeezing it in comfort.

Alec looked at Jace and his heart hurt with how much he missed his brother, someone who understood him in ways no one could, someone who was like another half of him. Alec dropped his bow and reached for his brother, enveloping him in a tight hug.

‘’You can come visit you know.’’ Alec suggested lamely into Jace’s shoulder. Jace shook with light laughter but Alec could hear the emotion behind it.

‘’You can count on that.’’ Jace replied.

‘’Jace, you’re my brother, blood or not, you’re also my best friend, whatever it is you can count me, I would never leave you. If you need me, call me and I’ll come.’’ Alec assured his brother as they parted. Jace slapped his shoulder in mocking affection.

‘’I know, but you can't leave Magnus.’’ He said it so easily so simply and yet it managed to undo everything in Alec.

Magnus, who is miles away. Magnus who has been nothing but a pain in the ass since the moment he met him. Magnus who’s haunted by a darkness Alec wished so hard he could dispel. Magnus who joked and laughed despite being constantly in danger of a miserable life. Magnus who changed Alec in ways that only people closest to him could see. Magnus who was probably pissed at Alec and wished him to never come back. Magnus who Alec was falling inevitable in love with.

He almost fainted at the sudden realization, it came to him in blinding bright colours. He was scared but in a way where you’re not dreading the future but looking forward to it, looking forward to seeing the one person who pulled your heart out of a black abyss and plunged it into screaming yellow.

‘’Alec?’’ Came a voice from beside Jace.

‘’Huh?’’ He looked at his siblings, it was like he was stuck in a daze.

‘’You just zoned out.’’ Izzy supplied carefully.

‘’I did?’’ Was the ground shaking or was it just his body?

‘’Yeah, Jace mentioned Magnus and you just froze.’’ Izzy looked at her brother with concern.

‘’Oh-uh i-it’s nothing, you were saying?’’ Alec tried to look like he was in one piece, but if he was honest he felt like his body was split into several pieces all of which were running at maximum speed jumping off of walls and bouncing on the ground.

‘’We didn’t say anything…’’ Jace looked at Isabelle confused.

‘’Oh, well then, we should got get lunch.’’ Alec suggested walking towards the door.

‘’It’s a bit early but okay.’’ Isabelle shrugged as she followed Alec.

They left the gym together, and if Alec was bouncing on his feet they did not mention it.

‘’So how is Mr. Babe?’’ Izzy asked innocently while Jace snickered. Alec startled and blushed furiously at the nickname his sister imposed on Magnus.

‘’He’s fine.’’ Alec replied somewhat sully. Magnus’ face flashed before his eyes, yes he did have feelings for the man that were much stronger than any kind of friendship that could be acquired but it did not make their fight disappear and the things he said to Magnus either.

‘’Doesn’t sound like it.’’ Jace said munching on his sandwich while side eyeing Alec.

‘’We had a fight.’’ Alec put his lunch down, losing his appetite.

‘’You’ll make up.’’ Izzy brushed his hand to show her support.

‘’And if we don’t?’’ He asked in a whisper.

‘’You will.’’ Jace stated firmly, which surprised Alec.

‘’Whatever you have going on with Magnus, is not something that a fight will destroy.’’ Izzy smiled at her brother, her smile was sympathetic but her eyes danced with amusement.

‘’I-I don’t know what you mean.’’ Alec tried, miserably.

‘’Sure you don’t, like I said before there is a change in you, the Magnus kind.’’ Jace added in smugly, Izzy slapped his arm.

‘’The Magnus kind?’’ She asked exasperated but there was still laughter in her eyes. Jace hummed in answer throwing a wink at Alec and there was nothing Alec wanted more than to burry himself under the ground. His siblings knew before him, of course they knew.

 

__

* * *

 

 

Magnus should probably notify Alec about this…oh well, he’s Magnus’ guardian he should know and Andy will tell him anyway. An old friend of Magnus’ reached out to him and invited Magnus to his party and well who is Magnus to decline such a generous offer.

Magnus was glad that the two temporarily appointed guardians were quite young, a bit older than Alec but way more convincible. Or not, well there’s nothing a little compulsion couldn’t solve. Yes it’s wrong to use spirit for such things, but Magnus was already somewhat drunk and you can’t argue with a drunk person.

The guardians were reluctant to accompany Magnus to the party, so he used a little, just a tinge of compulsion really to get them on board. He knew Alec would be mad at him but Magnus was mad at Alec no matter how much his heart ached for the hazel-eyed guardian.

‘’Andy are we there yet?’’ Magnus poked his head to the driver’s area for the hundredth time.

‘’No Mr. Bane and it’s Randy actually.’’ The guardian responded shyly. Magnus took pity on the shy guardian and left him alone, apologizing for the incorrect use of his name.

Alec texted Magnus somewhere after lunch telling him that guardians were investigating into his and Camille’s past relationship and that he should be careful. Magnus couldn’t care less about Camille and Alec’s text warmed Magnus’ heart, but it was no apology and Magnus had a lot more dignity. Magnus had tried to reach Alec in his sleep, unfortunately he has been somewhat intoxicated and the alcohol disabled him from dream walking in Alec’s dreams, he doubted that Alec even saw him.

Magnus wanted to talk, knowing that he could escape the dream whenever he wanted and Alec couldn’t do anything about it, it was a bit cowardly Magnus thought but he was just guarding his heart even though his heart was disposed in Alec’s hands already. _Damn you Lightwood,_ he thought bitterly.

After twenty or so minutes of sulking they arrived at their destination. He got out of the car and made his way to the building, with his two guardians trailing behind him. Magnus planned to get drunk and what a better way to do it than with one of his good friends.

‘’Magnus!’’ Exclaimed a rich voice before him, Magnus beamed at his old friend.

‘’Scott! Long time my friend.’’ Magnus greeted his friend with a hug clapping each other on the back.

‘’Unfortunately, what can I get you?’’ Scott smiled at Magnus as he led him to an open bar. Magnus turned to his guardians and told them to give him some privacy.

‘’How about a bit of everything?’’ Magnus replied with a sly grin. Scott laughed at him and ordered him something that Magnus was not familiar with but Alec was not here to deprive him of the mysterious drink, so might as well have it.

‘’I thought you might not come?’’ Scott turned to Magnus, smiling while sipping on his own drink.

‘’Why’s that? You know I would never refuse your most appreciated company.’’ Magnus winked at the cute bartender as she passed him his drink.

‘’What with Camille in the states, I thought you’d stay out of the public eye, anything to avoid her.’’ Scott said his lips curling in distaste as he pronounced her name. Magnus froze for a second but it was long enough still for Scott to notice.

‘’You didn’t know.’’ Scott observed. Magnus rolled his eyes sipping his drink, it was strong…good.

‘’I have no care in what the devil has been up to, so no.’’ Magnus replied concentrating on his drink, rather than his friend who was watching him carefully.

‘’What happened to that guardian of yours? Lightwood was it?’’ Scott questioned and Magnus rolled his eyes, he did not want to think of Alexander, more than he already was. Scott smiled knowingly at Magnus’ silence and raised his glass.

‘’Well then, let’s get drunk!’’ He exclaimed clinking his glass with Magnus and Magnus laughed with his friend.

After a few drinks, or a dozen Magnus found himself wandering outside, Scott abandoned him to the company of someone who could give him something Magnus couldn’t and his guardians were probably freaking out since Magnus could not be bothered to tell them where he was going.

He was leaning against a very ugly fountain looking up the empty sky and breathing in cold air. Magnus loved noise and movement but a moment of peace did good for his spinning head so he remained outside for a bit longer.

A few screams erupted from inside the house and Magnus laughed, if anyone knew how to throw a crazy party well then that was Scott. After a few minutes a dead silence made itself apparent, that was something that caught Magnus’ attention, he looked at the house and as soon as he did the lights went out, and he was submerged in darkness. He was drunk, but not enough to know that something was wrong. He started reaching for his phone, he was going to call Alec, there was nothing Alec could do from miles away but Magnus needed him and well-

He never got to finish his thoughts, as his phone crashed to the ground and him along with it.

 

* * *

 

 

Alec had a hard time falling asleep, and when he did it was to be greeted with complete darkness, darkness so cold and hard, almost like the hands of a strigoi locking around his neck. He woke up with a jerk to the ringing of his phone. It was still technically night for vampires, who could be calling him at this hour. He placed the phone to his ear.

‘’Yes?’’ He asked trying to brush the sleep out of his eyes.

‘’Guardian Lightwood?’’ A female voice spoke from the phone.

‘’It’s him, what can I do?’’ He asked sitting up.

‘’It’s Mr. Bane, we have reason to believe he was kidnapped from a party he was attending, we’re unable to locate him and we need your presence right away.’’ _…No._

‘’Mr. Lightwood? Are you there?’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny how when writing about Alec's realization about his feelings for Magnus, I get to love you by Ruelle started playing on my phone....


	7. Nothing right

Magnus has had many hangovers before and woke up in many places he never recognised but none like this with a hangover like the one right now tearing at his brain cells, or maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was knocked to the ground. Magnus forced his eyes to peel open and chance a look at what’s before him. Nothing. Pitch black darkness.

He was seated on a chair with his hands and ankles shackled to the arms rests and legs. He pulled at them, testing their hold on him but with no luck at all he remained stuck to the chair.

His increased vampire senses did nothing to help him figure out where he was, no sound, no nothing. There was only the smell of dust and the feeling of the metal digging into his skin.

‘’Hello?’’ He called out into the darkness. Whoever took him here didn’t waste their time killing him so they must need him for something, and Magnus needed to savour all the precious time he could get to find a way out of here.

Faint footsteps could be heard beyond the room that Magnus was being held captive in, Magnus could not see the door but he supposed someone was coming to greet him. The footsteps were light, more like the clicking of heels rather than heavy steps. A sudden cold shock passed through his body as he guessed just who his kidnapper might just be.

The door clicked open and the light turned on making Magnus’ eyes ache and his ever present headache throb. He blinked hard a few times letting his eyes to get used to the light illuminating the room before he let his eyes land upon his captor.

Magnus looked up to be greeted by a beautiful woman, one of the most beautiful women that he’s ever seen. Dark hair, with dark eyes and beautiful pale porcelain skin to complement the bold red dress and lips. He smiled lazily up at her.

‘’Camille, beautiful as ever.’’ He let his eyes roam over her face. She was perfect, the way that strigoi were. Camille laughed as she took sly steps towards him. She laid her hand on Magnus’ face, her nails digging not so gently under his chin. Magnus did not flinch at the cold touch, there was a time where he longed for that touch, longed for Camille even after their separation, but during that time he wasn’t locked to a chair, with his heart free from her grasp.

‘’Magnus, long time no see.’’ She whispered, her voice sweet and levelled. Nothing has changed about her, not in her looks or her voice, he thought he could never get bored of Camille but she was stuck in time, stuck with her cold, inhumane demeanour.

‘’Yes, a very long time…not that I’m complaining.’’ Magnus replied with a conceited smile, Camille let his face go with a hiss. ‘’C’mon Magnus, why the sudden hostility? Did you forget the fun times we had?’’ She smiled from underneath her dark eyelashes.

Magnus was sat in a single chair that was the only object in the room. White walls, no windows and a single door. Magnus was trapped. He looked at Camille closely, he didn’t feel the anger or the sadness that he’d thought he’d feel, instead he felt lucky, lucky to have escaped this woman and her manipulative ways that tied him to her all those years ago.

‘’Oh I do remember, they sometimes come as nightmares on dark nights.’’ He couldn’t help insulting their so called fun times. He wanted Camille to see that he no longer yearned for her attention, that he no longer needed her.

She glared at Magnus with a tight smile.

‘’You must be wondering why you’re here then?’’ She levelled him with a look of superiority. Magnus looked around the room and with a careless shrug leaned back into his seat.

‘’I’m sure there’s a reason.’’ He sighed rolling his eyes. He could see Camille repress the urge to yell at him, instead, she flashed him a wide smile showing off her fangs.

‘’Well of course there is, would you like to hear it?’’ She exclaimed excitedly, there was a certain gleam in her eyes that was one step too close to danger. Camille had something planned and that was enough to make concern creep up Magnus’ skin.

‘’Please, enlighten me.’’ He tried to seem relaxed, as if they were having a casual chat in the park and not as if he was about to die at the hand of his crazy ex-girlfriend.

Camille walked behind him and leaned in to whisper into his ear.

‘’I want you to join me.’’ She said simply, Magnus ignored the shiver running down his back from the cold touch of her lips.

‘’Join you?’’ He questioned. Camille laughed as she let her fingertips run along Magnus’ neck.

‘’Surely you’ve heard of the murders? Haven’t you?’’ She peered at him innocently but he could see the pride brewing in her eyes, it made him sick.

‘’You were behind them I’m guessing.’’ Magnus replied turning away from her stare. Camille guided him by the chin to look back at her. She smirked at him.

‘’Yes, me and some other friends I’ve acquired.’’ There was a heavy silence lingering between them and Magnus gave up hoping that Camille would not hear the loud pounding of his heart.

‘’Friends?’’ He asked, he knew he had to. It’s how Camille liked to play. She stroked his cheek with a menacing smirk.

‘’The Hell Hound.’’ Magnus knew it would be him but hearing his nickname come from her lips made the situation very real very fast for Magnus, and now he wished nothing but to escape this room. He gulped against his wishes and Camille laughed without remorse.

‘’Don’t worry Magnus, he’s not here, not yet but he would like to see you…for obvious reasons.’’ She peered at him in amusement.

‘’You can tell him that I appreciate it but I will have to decline.’’ Magnus managed to reply even though the lump in his throat was suffocating him. Camille rolled her eyes as she fixed a loose strand of hair hanging in front of Magnus’ eyes.

‘’You know that’s not how it works, besides would you not like to see dear old-‘’

‘’Shut up’’ Magnus snarled and Camille pulled away, if she was surprised by his aggression she did not show it.

‘’You said you wanted me to join you?’’ Magnus tried again, hoping that he sounded more composed. His questions seemed to succeed in distracting Camille as she leaned down in front of him with fascinating speed.

‘’Yes I did, I want you to join me and help rid this world of those who try stand against me, those who threaten me and want me dead, but I can’t have you like this of course, we’ll need to make some changes.’’ She said it all slowly all the while inspecting Magnus’ face as if judging his value.

‘’Changes? What changes?’’ Magnus asked her, his head was spinning and he felt like his heart was ready to leap out of his throat. He was so tired. Camille smiled at him, a nice genuine smile that used to enthral Magnus like she was the centre of his universe and he could not defy gravity, the pull of her being, the only difference was that now he knew just how evil Camille was, just how full of cruelty and venom her heart is.

‘’I’m talking about you joining me Magnus, as strigoi, we’ll be the most powerful strigoi couple to ever walk this earth.’’ And with those last words she pulled Magnus’ neck towards her and let her fangs sink into his neck and then his world went black.

 

* * *

 

 

‘’Why weren’t you with him?!’’ Alec didn’t want to scream, he wasn’t the kind of person who outright expressed his emotions, he’d rather let his anger simmer quietly inside, but his emotions were all over the place as were his thoughts that carried images of Magnus’ dead body.

‘’Alec, let him go!’’ Izzy’s strict voice bellowed next to him. Alec glance at his sister and then at the guardian that he had pushed against the wall just moments ago.

Izzy placed her hand on her brother’s arm that was holding the petrified guardian pinned against the wall. He let his arms relax as he let the guardian go, who did not hesitate to shuffle away from Alec and hide behind Isabelle.

‘’Where is he?’’ Alec asked hopelessly. When he got the call that Magnus disappeared he did not let himself rest until he had the best of personnel on his case helping him track Magnus down.

He took Izzy with him, leaving Jace in the courts as he needed someone he trusted to report anything he heard about Magnus, with Izzy by his side and all the guardians he managed to recruit, they travelled to the residence of Woolsey Scott, a popular moroi that liked to host parties, a party during which Magnus was presumably taken.

As the guardian assessed the scene Alec did not hesitate in ramming a scared guardian named Randy against a wall and demanding him to tell him what the hell happened to Magnus. The young guardian claimed to have lost sight of Magnus, as the moroi kept evading them during the party and towards the end all the lights went out and everyone passed out due to a gas attack.

It was all calculated, the attack was planned, and someone went out of their way to take Magnus. There were no leads left, no clue as to whom could have taken him.

‘’We’ll find him Alec, I promise.’’ Izzy whispered into her brother’s shoulder as she hugged him.

‘’Izzy I can’t, if anything happened to him-‘’

‘’Nothing will happen to him, there was too much effort put into this attack, they took him alive because they want him alive.’’ It did little to assure Alec, but he couldn’t let his fear overwhelm him, not if he wanted to rescue Magnus.

‘’Guardian Lightwood, hello my name is Woolsey Scott I’m a friend of Magnus’.’’ The man looked tentatively as he reached out his hand towards Alec, Alec looked him over and shook the man’s hand.

‘’Is there anything, anything at all that you could tell us that could help us find Magnus.’’ Alec asked, his voice hard.

Woolsey Scott observed Alec with keen interest and nodded his head back towards one of the rooms.

‘’Some privacy?’’ Scott asked, at the same time Magnus’ ex guardian Raj entered with a scowl on his face.

‘’This is a public investigation, our top priority for missing person’s as administrated by the Queen, you cannot withhold any information and inform only one guardian.’’ Alec was glad to hear that Magnus’ disappearance was top priority, he knew Lisa would be worried.

‘’Shut up Raj.’’ Izzy glared at him, she nodded at Alec and Alec proceeded to a room Scott directed at. With Scott following behind him, they soon left the room of the guardians to a room of eerie silence.

‘’I don’t know where Magnus is, but I can guess who took him.’’ Scott supplied, looking intensely at Alec. Alec’s heart skipped a beat as his breath caught in his throat.

‘’Who?’’ He asked immediately. ‘’Camille Belcourt, surely you’ve heard of her.’’ Scott snorted at her name.

Alec should have guessed as much, and yet he dreaded the newly found information. The guardians have been tracking her for months and they never succeeded at detecting her, how is he going to find Magnus when the person holding him captive is impossible to find.

‘’Thank you, anything else?’’ Alec doubted Scott could give him the exact location of where Magnus was. Scott shook his head in defeat smiling weakly at Alec.

‘’He cares about you, and I see that you do to. Find him and bring him back.’’ Alec was not going to let his emotions cloud his judgement, his top priority was to find Magnus and nothing could get in the way of that.

‘’That is my duty.’’ He replied as he made his way towards the door.

‘’I’m sure that’s all that it is.’’ Scott called out to him but Alec did not turn around, he walked straight out of the building with Izzy behind him. He will let the rest of the guardian inspect the scene but he knew it would be useless, Camille is not stupid she would not leave anything behind.

‘’It’s Camille who has him.’’ Alec informed his sister as he sped back to the courts. Izzy spun around to face her brother.

‘’Ex-lover Camille, what does she want with him?’’ She questioned. Alec bit on his tongue as he accelerated.

‘’I don’t know, but it’s nothing good. Call Simon, get him to find everything he knows about Camille and anything that could help me find Magnus.’’ He instructed her, his sister pulled out her phone and dialled Simon. Soon she was recalling everything that Simon told her.

‘’Dammit, none of that is useful.’’ He banged the steering wheel in frustration.

‘’Just keep looking Simon, if you find anything just call me.’’ Izzy sighed into the phone as she hung up.

‘’Call Jace, see if he’s heard anything.’’ Alec barked out, his head was turning as he tried to think but thoughts of Magnus being hurt tortured his mind, when was the last time Magnus fed? He’ll be too weak to try to escape. Alec closed his eyes hard trying to shake himself off of negative thoughts.

‘’Jace, anything?’’ Izzy asked though the phone. She cursed at whatever Jace said.

‘’Nothing?’’ Alec asked in desperation. Izzy looked at him apologetically.

‘’Just tell him to keep an ear out and call if he hears anything.’’ He shook his head. Where are you? Please be okay, please just be okay.

‘’Alec, what are you going to do?’’ Izzy asked, looking at her brother with concern. Alec did not look at her. He can’t let his emotions distract him, he is a guardian his top priority is to find Magnus and bring him home safe. If he looks at Izzy, if he allows himself to see the ache fused in his sisters eyes, he will not be able to do this.

Somehow denying himself all these emotions makes him feel more stable because he has a feeling that if he were to give in he would be trapped in a hurricane of all these feelings, thrown from side to side so much that he will lose sight of his brain and end up following his heart, and at the moment it’s a risk he can’t afford to take, he can’t let the fear for Magnus keep him away from finding him.

‘’I will do whatever it takes for me to find him Iz.’’ He replied, squeezing the steering wheel.

 

* * *

 

 

‘’I’d rather die than join you.’’ Magnus sneered looking away from the pale face looming in front of him.

Camille scoffed with little to no amusement dabbing at the corners of her mouth with a blood stained handkerchief. Magnus’ blood, red and very vivid despite the rest of his surrounding turning over and over in a lazy motion.

‘’I think I can make you change your mind.’’ She smiled predatorily, slowly sinking her nails into the side of Magnus’ neck. He flinched away from her touch, like one would from a burning fire, only Magnus thought that maybe launching himself into a bonfire would be better than this. ‘’I know you liked the bite, you could never quite resist it.’’

Magnus would have rolled his eyes to the back of his brain if his head wasn’t spinning so much, he could still feel the gentle result of Camille’s bite buzz through his veins. He really did miss the odd yet deeply pleasurable sensation of the bite, feeling like there’s no ground beneath him to restrict him from wandering wherever his heart led him.

However, it doesn’t matter that his heart once went out for Camille, because now it’s only full of pity and regret. Magnus knew Camille was playing him, he knew that she wanted Magnus to succumb to her willingly, she wants to have full control over him before turning him, because having power over Magnus was just another validation for her that there is nothing Camille Belcourt cannot do. But there’s only one person that has a claim to Magnus’ heart, and he’d rather let Camille feed off of him time and time over again before he became as emotionless and cold hearted as her, he could never give up love, but most importantly he could never give up Alec, because loving him has given him a new perspective on life, being in his presence was unlike any bite, it was simply magic.

‘’I will not join you Camille, not now, not ever.’’ Magnus heaved out in a breath, his head didn’t seem to sit properly on his shoulders and he couldn’t exactly focus on anything as his consciousness hung on a thread, but he felt proud as he heard the hiss of Camille’s displeasure, and then once again, her fangs were buried in his neck sending him to a sweet abyss.

 

* * *

 

 

‘’You should get some rest Alec.’’ Maryse suggested putting her hands on her son’s shoulders to stop his from pacing.

He looked her in the eyes, darker brown than Magnus’, empty of Magnus kind of youth and laughter shielding all the pain and sadness. Alec looked away from his mother, and sat on the edge of his bed.

He was back in the courts, he sent Izzy away telling her he needed some time to think and that he’ll call her if anything happens, to which she nodded sadly and hugged her brother with enough force to knock him over. His mother later entered his room to congratulate him on a successful meeting, while also informing him on the numbers she dispatched to search for Magnus.

‘’I can’t rest. Magnus is still missing.’’ Alec grumbled into his palms covering his face.

‘’We have people-‘’

‘’Not enough.’’ Alec interrupted before Maryse could finish. He would never do that to his mother, but the fear he’s been trying so hard to suppress has been escaping bit by bit like solar flares.

‘’We can’t have all the guardians looking for one man, at the moment it is one of the biggest priorities as Magnus Bane is the queen’s closest friend, however he is just one man Alec, and he might be already-‘’ Maryse didn’t finish the sentence when her son’s head snapped up in quick motion with rage and fear burdening his eyes.

‘’There’s hope.’’ She tried to supply instead, taking pity on her son’s distress.

‘’I want to be left alone.’’ Alec spoke out more roughly than intended. Maryse hesitated before making her way to the door, she looked back at her son.

‘’Get some rest, you can’t help Magnus if you can’t stand on your own two feet. If there’s news about Magnus I’ll make sure you’re the first to know.’’ And with that she exited the room.

Alec was alone, the room around him clean and organized, so unlike anything at his home, with Magnus. He leaned back, laying his back on the hard mattress, he clenched his eyes shut as soon as he felt the burning sensation of tears threatening to spill.

He’s entering the hurricane and he never felt so lost.

‘’Alexander.’’ A soft quiet voice broke out behind the blurry screen.

‘’Magnus?’’ Alec spoke out to the shifting colours surrounding him. He reached his hand out unwillingly as if it was being pulled by some sort of string.

A hand clamped down on his wrist with a slap, Alec was about to pull away when he recognised the rings decorating the hand and just like that Magnus stumbled into his arms panting and heaving like he ran a hundred mile marathon, only that he looked so pale Alec wondered if he will quite literally fade from his grasp.

‘’Magnus.’’ Alec smiled as he hugged the man close to him, steadying him on his feet. It felt so real, it was unlike any other dream Alec had. He could feel the pressure of Magnus’ body against him just like would during their training practices, he could smell Magnus’ scent as if he was lying in a bundle of Magnus’ sheets, it felt so real, too real.

But Magnus was away, Magnus is missing and all that this is, is just a cruel dream melded by his mind to torment him.

‘’This isn’t real.’’ Alec shut his eyes and made to pull away, but Magnus held on.

‘’No Alexander, this is real, it is very real. You must listen to me.’’ Magnus breathed out shakily. Alec laughed, and started walking away but as he turned around, everything around him changed. He was no longer in a whirlpool of colours, he was in a room, with white walls and a single chair in the middle.

Magnus walked from behind him and leaned against the chair. Alec looked at Magnus and his heart sunk, Magnus looked like he was about to faint, his skin pale with beads of sweat gliding down his temples, his hair messed up and hanging loosely on his forehead, his eyes glazed and red as if he was crying for hours but his mouth was pulled in a gentle smile as he stared at Alec.

‘’Alexander, this is very real.’’ Magnus tried to walk towards him but his limbs failed him as he started crumpling down, but Alec caught him, once again pulling him upright against his chest.

‘’It feels real, but it’s just a dream. You’re gone and I don’t know how to find you.’’ Alec’s voice shook, he felt angry and disappointed but mostly hurt by how fragile Magnus looks.

‘’Alexander, this is not a dream, not quite. I am dream walking.’’ Alec’s heart stopped. Magnus reached out to him. Alec’s hold tightened on Magnus, he is actually here, he is talking to Magnus, and now he can find him.

‘’Where are you?’’ Alec almost screamed out as he grasped Magnus by the shoulders, his hands were shaking and his heart was beating a million miles an hour but Magnus was here, and most importantly he’s alive.

Magnus laughed even though it looked like it hurt him to do so.

‘’I don’t know Alexander, the room that were standing in is the room I’m being held captive.’’ Alec took a once over the room, damnit, nothing useful.

‘’Anything else? Anything at all?’’ Alec questioned, the room around him twitched as if it were alive.

‘’It’s Camille, she took me, I don’t know where but she has me. It’s her Alec, I’m so sorry.’’ Magnus mumbled faintly.

‘’Hey, hey, Magnus hey look at me. It’s okay I will find you okay?’’ Alec tried to reassure him as he grabbed Magnus’ face in his hands, gently stroking his cheeks trying to keep him awake. Magnus covered Alec’s hands with his own, smiling as he did so.

‘’ I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again.’’ Magnus’ eyes began to water as he spoke softly looking over Alec’s face as if trying to memorize every detail of it, as if it’s really the last time he will see him. It broke Alec’s heart.

‘’No, Magnus don’t say that. I will find you okay? I will.’’ Alec will find him, he will not let this be the last time they see each other.

‘’You’ll be too late, I’ll be dead by then.’’ How can he say that? How can he give up so easily?

‘’Don’t say that, what did she do to you Magnus?’’ Alec whispered gently, pushing Magnus’ hair back from his eyes. Magnus looked down, in shame.

‘’She’s feeding off of me, I’m losing a lot of blood which in turn makes me weak, I can’t hold this up much longer Alexander, it’s why the surroundings are fading, I’m losing my hold on everything, I didn’t think I could reach you at all.’’ Magnus whispered so faintly that Alec had to put his face next to his to hear him.

‘’I will kill her.’’ Alec gritted out as he let Magnus sink into his arms, he was fading and there was nothing Alec could do to make him stay.

‘’I’ll help.’’ Magnus laughed, or tried to.

‘’I will find you, Magnus, I will not stop looking.’’ Alec said, and he felt it, he felt this new energy alight in him, be it fear or anger, he was going to find Magnus and release him from this torture, even if it’s the last thing he did.

‘’She plans to turn me strigoi.’’ Magnus let out in defeat and with that he was gone, leaving Alec floating and suffocating in a heap of black.

He’s brought back into the waking world by sharp knocking on his door, he leaped from his bed and swung the door open to find Izzy and Jace.

‘’We have a lead on Magnus.’’ Jace shot out firmly, Alec grabbed his stake and jacket and flew out the door with his sibling tailing behind.

He fixed the silver stake close to him, this one is for Camille, he will make sure it will buried in her cold undead heart before he ever has to use it against Magnus.

 

* * *

 

 

‘’Wake up.’’ Camille singed in Magnus’ ear, resting her chin on his shoulder. Magnus tried to move his head away from her but she only pressed herself closer to him.

‘’Don’t be like that Magnus, sooner or later you’re going to beg me to turn you, that or you’ll just starve to death. How long has it been?’’ Camille whispered in his ear. Almost three days since he last fed, with Camille sucking out the blood out of him and no feeders available to him, Magnus is heading to one hell of a place.

Camille didn’t bother to hide the joy she felt at seeing Magnus so pathetically helpless as she described it, she kept tormenting him and absorbing every second of his pain into her system like dead plants salvaging for beams of sunlight. Only that sunlight would burn Camille to the ground, oh how Magnus hoped that the roof would just collapse.

The only thing giving Magnus life, motivating him to hold on was his Alexander. In a situation so hopeless who could blame him for ignoring all of his pride and dignity and simply letting himself settle in Alec’s arms. Magnus was not scared to show the raw emotions prickling under his skin to Alec. Alec who was so determined so confused and caring, Magnus would do anything, absolutely anything to relive that dream, just to lay in Alec’s arms and surround himself with the familiar loving comfort that comes with Alec’s embrace.

‘’Alexander? Alexander Lightwood?’’ What? Magnus looked up at Camille, she was looking down at him, confused yet intrigued. He must have spoken out loud.

‘’Alexander Lightwood? The dhampir guardian, is it him you’re thinking of?’’ She laughed, Magnus snarled at her. He didn’t want her to say his name, to taint it like that. It was a name Magnus thought of with love and kindness, it was a name he didn’t want associated with Camille.

‘’I’ve looked into him. Nothing special there, just another dhampir guardian.’’ She faked a yawn waving her hand in stiff motion dismissing Alec’s existence, just like that. It made Magnus furious, Alec was everything compared to Camille, but he can’t let Camille know that. He looked down at his lap.

‘’Why? Why do you mention him?’’ Camille questioned inching closer. ‘’Is he one of your boy toys?’’ Camille smirked lifting his chin to face her.

‘’No.’’ Magnus spat, ripping his face from her grasp.

‘’No? Well then what is he to you?’’ Camille inquired teasingly. Magnus looked away, Camille slid her hand to his thigh and sunk her nails into his flesh drawing blood. Magnus winced at the sharp pain but remained quiet.

‘’Perhaps a lover?’’ She smiled wickedly letting her nails twist deeper. Magnus kept his eyes locked onto his hands.

‘’He’s not though, is he? I would know. I know everything there is to know about you.’’ Camille ripped her hand away from his thigh, like one would rip an IV out.

‘’Not lover then, but maybe you wish he were one.’’ Magnus stilled.

‘’Ah yes, you do wish.’’ Camille pouted in mock sympathy.

‘’When will you stop falling in love so easily huh? Look where it got you?’’ She rolled her eyes as she motioned around him.

‘’I never loved you Camille, not truly.’’ Magnus said menacingly. Camille looked at him intently, seizing him up and down as if discovering him in new light.

‘’I guess I can’t force you to love me, but I doubt your little dhampir would love you when you’re strigoi.’’ She said slowly, tapping her chin. Magnus glared at her, he was weak and his body ached and yet if given the chance he would not hesitate to launch himself towards Camille and rip her head clean.

‘’Or maybe I can turn the guardian boy strigoi, huh? What do you think about that?’’ Magnus jumped from his chair only to have himself pulled back harshly by the restrictions fastened on his hands and legs.

‘’Don’t you dare go anywhere near him Camille, or so help me I will kill you with my bare hands.’’ Magnus growled, rage bringing flames to his veins and trembling to his fisted hands. This only amused Camille that much more, she clapped in glee.

‘’Well, well, well, we found Magnus Bane’s weak spot.’’ Magnus kept glaring at Camille, how could he ever be so blind? The woman in front of him could have never held a place in Magnus’ heart.

Camille’s features turned to that of annoyance, suddenly footsteps could be heard approaching the room and the door burst open to reveal a human man, with tan skin and dull blue eyes.

‘’Miss. Belcourt? There have been guardian cars spotted heading towards us, we must evacuate before they get here.’’ The man spoke urgently, his eyes not once drifting towards Magnus, eyes completely glued on Camille as if she’s the core of his existence, and he probably thinks she is.

Camille’s lips twitched just a tiny bit before walking towards Magnus, she grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him roughly on the cheek.

‘’I’ll see you again my love.’’ She spoke as she left the room with her human subjugate. Magnus sank into his chair, they found him, Alec found him.

 

* * *

 

 

‘’Turn right.’’ Izzy instructed and Alec made a sharp turn, accelerating down a rocky road. Simon managed to track down the car Magnus has been taken in on road surveillance cameras, they have followed the car as far as they could, which led them to only one possible location. A small abandoned building just on the side of a forest, almost blending into the woods.

Magnus was there somewhere.

‘’Right there.’’ Izzy pointed through the window to a grey building peeking out from under the trees, it was small and obscured. Alec drove towards it with two SUV vans full of guardians behind him. They stopped in front of the building and waited for any sign of movement to indicate of strigoi presence. Nothing. Quiet.

Alec grabbed his stake and exited the car. He looked around more closely, looking into the woods, trying to get a presence of some sort. He motioned for everyone else to get out. Stake in hand, they slowly approached the building, with people going round the back, some staying back and Alec with Jace and Izzy as well as two other guardians making their way towards the front of the building.

Alec waited in front of the door.

‘’Everything is clear in the back, I think they might have left.’’ A guardian spoke up arriving back from the back of the building. Alec nodded and knocked the door down. They ran into the room, scanning all the corners but there was no one there.

‘’I think they left Alec.’’ Izzy spoke up, at the same time a scraping sound echoed from beneath them and Alec ran for the stairs. He jumped down the staircases and faced the only door illuminating light from underneath. He could hear the others coming down behind him.

He kicked the door a few times, and after the fourth time the door let loose and it tumbled to the floor. Right in the middle of the room was Magnus, sitting shackled to a chair. Alec’s feet couldn’t move fast enough as he raced for Magnus.

Magnus who was barely conscious lasted only long enough to gift Alec with a small half there smile before letting himself sink to unconsciousness. Alec worked fast getting Magnus out of the chair. By the time everyone came down Alec had Magnus is his arms and out the room.

Jace smiled at Alec, and Izzy leaned back against the wall in relief. They made way for Alec, he didn’t stop he got Magnus in the backseat of his car and seated himself next to him.

Finally, looking down at Magnus, Alec allowed himself to breath. He let his hands ghost over Magnus’ pale face as hot tears spilled silently down his cheeks, all the fear and anxiety finally let itself lose like a tight knot slowly unwinding into a simple puddle of thread. Alec leaned his head down into Magnus’ hair and put his arms around the other man’s shoulders.

‘’You’re okay now, you’re okay.’’ He whispered to him, but mainly to himself. Magnus was here, truly here, with him. Safe and alive. Nothing could take him away from Alec, nothing. He felt a gentle tug at his shirt, he looked down at Magnus to find him already gazing at Alec with tears lining his eyes.

‘’We’re okay.’’ He whispered and Alec smiled hugging Magnus tightly to his body, because right now it was Magnus who needed to feel safe and Alec was never again going to put him into a situation where he didn’t.

Izzy and Jace climbed to the front of the car, and with one glance back at Alec and Magnus, they started the car and drove out of the area.

‘’The hospital.’’ Alec instructed, tugging Magnus closer to him, he didn’t care that this wasn’t how he was supposed to be acting, he didn’t care about his position as a guardian, he didn’t care if Magnus will question this later, all he cared about was that the man he loved was safe in his arms.

‘’It was her…’’ Magnus croaked out in a whisper leaning into Alec. ‘’The murders, she’s behind them, Camille and Asmodeus.’’ Alec looked down at Magnus.

‘’Asmodeus?’’ He asked silently, frowning.

‘’Asmodeus is the Hell Hound…and also my father.’’ Magnus whispered looking at Alec eyes full of regret and guilt. Alec closed his hand over Magnus’ and squeezed it gently.

‘’Just rest for now, we’ll be at the hospital soon enough.’’ He smiled and let Magnus’ head rest in the crook of his neck as they drove to the hospital, bodies fixed together and hands intertwined, they’ll deal with everything tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who isn't familiar with the world of dhampirs, moroi and strigoi I suggest you read the series of the Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. I have based this story upond the Vampire Academy's world. Thank you to anyone who has taken time to read this :)


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